Mistrix Sunmi and Mistress Danielle Blunt talk about our kinky roots, how we made our way to Femdom, our experiences with Mommy and Daddy dynamics and how they may or may not relate to our personal experiences, co-parenting a special little one, lesbian domination, lesbian cuckolding, and sissification.
Read more: Femdom Dominatrix Mistress Blunt Interviews Daddy Femdom Mistrix Sunmi
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Hi everyone. I am so excited to be here today with Mistrix Sunmi. And we will be talking today about femme daddys, daddy dommes, some of the differences between mommy and daddy dynamics. And collaboratively training a special Little One. I am Mistress Danielle Blunt. I’m a professional dominatrix based out of New York City. And yeah, I would love if you could introduce yourself as well.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Hello everyone. I am Mistrix Sunmi. I’m a DC based pro-domme and yeah, I’ve been in the industry for about five years. I specialize in single tail whipping, bondage, slut training, and I’m super happy to be on the podcast.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing.
Mistrix Sunmi:
And on the YouTube channel.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. Who knows what will happen.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
A single tail is my favorite implement and I feel I don’t know a ton of pro-doms who love playing with single tails. I feel I’m seeing more of it. Do you have a favorite implement?
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yes, I have an Axle signal whip and it’s four-foot, 16 plat, red-black leather, and it’s actually in Axle’s possession right now because he is replacing my cracker on it because it’s so, I use it all the time and yeah, it’s my baby. It’s like an extension of my body. It’s my favorite implement.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I feel the single tail is the one implement that really feels like an extension of my body that it feels like the same as doing impact with my hands. I was on a waiting list for a Joe Wheeler whip for, it was like five to seven years or something like that. And I was like, “I don’t know if I’m ever going to get this whip.” And finally he sent me a message and I have the whip in my possession now, and it’s the whip that I grew up, I came into kink throwing Joe Wheeler’s whips at the space that I trained in. And one of my biggest regrets of leaving the place is I didn’t grab one on my way out. And I’ve always wanted one and I finally have one and it just feels like home to me. And I just love that feeling with an implement.
Mistrix Sunmi:
And that’s so special that now that it’s yours and only yours, you can break it in and it will break in exactly to your style of whipping and your hand position and it’ll mold itself to your style, which is just a really special thing about having your own whip.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I know. I love talking to whip enthusiasts. I was so excited because he is so great. I love him so much. He called me and spoke to me for an hour and a half about what I wanted my whip to be like, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, let me tell you about my shoulder problem. Let me tell you about how I want it to crack. How I want it to fall, the space that I’m playing in.” And he loves it so much and I love that it’s made by someone with that kind of intention. And he was like, “Don’t let anyone else touch this whip.” And I’m like, “Yes, this is a magical object that no one else should touch.” They can only be on the receiving end.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so fun. I’m excited to hear you say that. I would love to, if you could talk a little bit about your journey into kink. How did you figure out that you were kinky, that this was something that you might want to explore professionally?
Mistrix Sunmi:
So kink was always something that I was interested in and then it didn’t, basically when I came into BDSM, I was living with a bunch of punks and my friends were hosting a play party. So my first entry to BDSM was really going to this queer punk, DIY play party in a punk basement. And I went into the play party being like, “Wow, I don’t know…” I had no idea. I was like, “I don’t know if I’m going to be a top, a bottom, dominant, submissive.” I just came in really blind, but excited to try everything. I came into BDSM being very open, which I’m very grateful for now. And I went to that play party and I just took it all in and I was trying all different things and it was a really, really special moment for me. And I just knew that there was something really special there.
And I had two experiences at that play party that were pretty just great seeds of information for me, and just realized that dominance or being a top is something that I would be well suited for. And just through play partners and entering the queer scene, as soon as I found out about Leatherdykes, that history touched really deeply to me. And as soon as I realized, “Oh, there’s a community of people like me who have been doing this for generations.” And once I learned about the culture and the history, I just found home in that.
And so when I entered BDSM, it was very much through that lens. And then when I became a pro, so I’ve been in the adult entertainment industry for five years, and I was in a really low point in my work as a sex worker. And a friend of mine was like, “Hey,” I was doing very amateur professional BDSM, this guy was paying me to step on him. And then my friend was like, “Hey, you know that there’s a way to screen and there’s dungeons and you can have a mentor?” And I was like, “What? I’ve never heard of any of this.” And then my friend connected me to a local domme who’s another Leatherdyke community. And so I started mentorship in 2019 and then trained to become a pro-domme and has since been working professionally. And yeah, that’s been my journey through it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s amazing. I feel being able to develop those intergenerational relations, even if the age isn’t quite different, but of how long you’ve been in the industry and being able to learn from others is something that’s so special about leather community. And I came into leather and I always knew that I was kinky, but I didn’t understand that there was this community of people doing specific activities centered around this. I was always like, “Oh, this sounds terrible for whoever I was seeing. I want to do that.” Oh, never letting you orgasm, perfect. This sounds ideal to me and have no, I wouldn’t even know what search terms to find if I was looking for the kind of porn that I was interested in. It was just the random connection where the woman was in more control. And the place that I trained definitely had some problems with power, but I definitely learned a lot in that space. And despite some of its flaws, I’m really grateful for the opportunity to learn from people who had so much expertise and such breadth of experience. And the space I trained had a different domme come in every month and would do workshops, so I was really able to learn a lot about different people’s style of domination and different skill sets. But it wasn’t until after I moved to the city that I really found out more about Leatherdykes, which was much more, much better suited to me and the style of skill sharing and how resources and community. And how we teach each other, how to vet and how we make sure that younger folks are safe and have the resources that they need. It felt very different from a more, it wasn’t totally a straight space, but it had the patriarchal head in charge and because of that there were a lot of issues with the space.
Mistrix Sunmi:
So my domme mentor also trained old guard style, so my domme mentor I met in Baltimore, but they lived on the West Coast in the Bay where they worked for, I think they were there for eight years. And so they were trained old guard. So then when they trained me, they were like, “I’m not going to put you through all of that.” Which I’m grateful for.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, it’s definitely a different training style to be like I was trained submissive from the bottom, which I also have had more switchier sides, so it was fine for me personally, it wasn’t trying to break me to get me to do those things. And so it was fun for me to earn leathers and leather boots and have that more traditional old guard training, but I’ve definitely trained people and I’m like, “This was my experience and let’s figure out what works for both of us based on not just having to stick to a script and moving from there.”
So one thing I know about your domination style, which I’m not even sure if you said in the things you’re into, but it’s something that I think of when I think of you is hard daddy-domme vibes. And I’m so curious how that evolved. I feel when I started I had more of a daddy persona and that evolved into mommy, gender is so flexible and always in flux. And I am so curious about how you found this daddy-domme seed within yourself and what that’s been like to explore?
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely. I love being a daddy. It feels very at home for me as an energy to occupy, but getting here was interesting. So my personal life play I feel has always impacted my work and my work has always impacted my personal. And so in my personal life, again, I am very into role play and world building and that’s a big staple for me. And so when I was with personal partners, I remember being like, “Well, okay, the first time anyone ever called me daddy in bed, I think really struck something inside of me.” And for me, the first time I ever had strap-on sex too, I felt really, I teach strap connection to strap-on classes. And I’ve told this in interviews before, but the first time I ever had strap-on sex with somebody, I came wearing the strap-on. And so those two things have always felt very linked for me personally. And so that always felt really right.
There were times where my partners would be like, “Okay, I want you to be mommy.” Because I’m really into Ageplay, Dark Ageplay. And so somebody was like, “I want you to be a mommy.” And then I remember there were many times I tried. I tried to make mommy work, I really did. I was trying to do it for my girlfriends. I was like, “Okay.” And it never, it gave me this weird uh-oh feeling. It just didn’t feel good. Also, should I say this, I have an amazing dad. I have an amazing father and I love being a really, I feel I have such a great dad that when I am being a daddy to others I am all of the best things. But my frame of reference for mommy, I just didn’t grow up with a mom. So I am like, “What do moms do? I don’t know. Go do your homework.” What? I don’t have the material to do mommy. So it never really worked. But were you to going say something?
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
No, I also like the idea with the perverted shit that you do, it sounds like you’re like, I don’t know, I feel there’s so many misconceptions about how these things become interesting to us and I feel there’s the, “Oh, you have daddy issues, so that’s what you’re drawn to.” And here you’re like, “My dad’s fucking amazing.” So I’m hearing your daddy issues. What I was hearing with the subject.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It skips the generation. I love that. Yeah, I think something I’ve been thinking a lot too is just how our experiences give us material to pull from and world build with. And I feel for some people that absence is more present than the presence of a caretaker. And for some people, what you’re talking about you’re like, “Oh, I don’t have the material to work with in this.” I think it’s really interesting how people come to it, especially with, I don’t know, I’m interested in your thoughts about this. I feel you’re calling it Dark Ageplay and femme domme daddy, daddy domme dynamics, mommy dynamics are taboo. I feel mommy might be a little bit more taboo than daddy, but I feel when you’re doing Dark Ageplay, and incest role play and ABDL stuff, it becomes more taboo and people have more thoughts about it. And I’m curious a little bit about why you think that is? There’s so many fucked up things that we do in kink that are talking about different power authorities that we have relationship with, whether it be through personal experience through what we see in the media and still Ageplay seems like something that feels like specifically taboo. And I’m curious some of your thoughts on that.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely. It’s interesting how BDSM doesn’t just happen in a vacuum. It’s really a microcosm of our world. And so when I think about misogyny or mommy versus daddy or the differences, I feel I almost feel like girlfriends calling their boyfriend’s daddy is one of the most almost vanilla entryway kinks that a lot of people are doing daddy, or Ageplay without even calling it that. So I think there’s a bit of destigmatizing that goes around daddy. Calling somebody daddy because it’s just in movies and stuff, you see it, people calling their girlfriends’ daddy. It’s just accepted. But there’s a line where there’s like, “Okay, it’s okay to call your girlfriend daddy,” but then as soon as I’m like, “I am your father.” There’s definitely a line where it’s like, “I am creeping into your bed at night and diddling you or whatever.” There’s a line between people just saying it and then the actual hardcore Dark Ageplay consenting adults doing heavy BDSM. So I feel that’s where taboo-ness gets. Mommy play is definitely more taboo than daddy play. And I think that it’s because mothers are, mothers in society, in America are so put onto this pedestal, they’re supposed to be seen as the ultimate protectors. And to transverse that trust, that motherly trust, I feel it’s more taboo than because when dads, when I’m being a fucking pervert and sexually touching my kids at night, it’s like, “Okay, well men are men or whatever, and I’m just a douche bag dad.” And that’s like for me, I really enjoy that part of it for me because I almost feel like as a daddy dom, I have a lot more permission to be perverted, fucked up, dark and it’s not as, I don’t get as much backlash as I think mommies do. And a reason mommy play is actually on my hard limits list now because I did a mommy scene with this person and it was so triggering for them, and I was trying to do mommy play light-hearted like I was like, “Oh, we’re just fucking around. Yeah, I’ll be your mommy.” And I personally wasn’t taking it that seriously because I’m just a pervert. I do role play all the time and I didn’t realize that this person had a lot of mommy stuff. I didn’t know that before going into it. But I learned the hard way, moms, even fictional ass role play as moms are held to this ridiculously high standard that I just don’t want to deal with as a professional Dom, I’m like, “Look, I’m just trying to fuck you up.” This is role play, this is fantasy. This isn’t real. But I think for dads it’s easier for people to have that cognitive dissonance between me being your daddy versus me triggering your father issues. But for mommies it feels, and I want to hear what your thoughts are.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, I’m so excited to chat with you about this. I feel I’ve talked with a lot of mommy Dom’s about this, about the unreal expectations that are placed on mother in American society and how that turns up. And I have to say you’re just smarter than me.” It is hard. And something that you said is I feel you don’t always have to disclose your trauma history with the people that you’re playing with, but I think if you’re not and you’re keeping that to yourself, you have to take some responsibility for the things that come up when you’re doing dark and fucked up shit that might be replaying, or playing with some of the trauma that you’ve experienced. I don’t have an assumption that everyone who comes to me for mommy play has an experience of sexual assault from a maternal figure is not an assumption that I come into playing. And if that is the case, it can be useful to share and talk about if you feel comfortable or to talk about with a therapist or something like that as well. But shit comes up, and I think about this a lot in regards to attachment and how we are conditioned to be attached to maternal and paternal figures in our life. And I feel I try and play with it in my style of mommy domme and calling it out and pointing it out and talking about it, but it does come up a lot. A lot of people who see me for I think, I don’t know what it is about my marketing, but if your mom did not pay enough attention to you as a child, it seems like we’ll be a really good fit. It’s like a very specific type of people who have experienced mommy trauma that I seem to get a lot of people who are interested in seeing me. And I think it comes out through years of playing together and working through some of it. But I feel something that I’ve learned, and I think I’ve been doming for somewhere between 12 and 15 years. I can’t do math. So somewhere around that.
Mistrix Sunmi:
That’s amazing.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think I’m more aware of how I can be with the maternal archetype, be swooped into someone’s trauma and the ending that they think has to happen with a maternal figure of whether it be not being seen, not being listened to. And definitely I’ve had an experience of anything. First of all, anything can be a trigger and you often don’t know what it is until it happens. I once removed my hand from someone’s shoulder and gave attention to another sub, and it was deeply triggering because we were doing Dark Ageplay in this way.
And I’m like, “That’s not something we ever could have negotiated around.” And I think it could happen with a daddy domme too, but it felt like very specifically mommy, because we’re not expecting that perfect attunement. We’re not socialized to expect that perfect attunement from daddy. And I think I’m now able to have deeper conversations about what comes up with attachment when doing mommy play that I don’t get myself into pickles as often, but I do feel like especially, it’s I’m a sex worker, I’m providing a service. I’m holding the space for you to explore something. And I am not a trained mental health professional. My background is in psychology, so I do have some language to be able to talk with folks, but I am not trying to tell anyone that what I’m doing is therapy, whether or not they find it therapeutic.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Right. Absolutely. Yeah, it’s interesting how different branding or different personas attract different clients and sessions and D/s dynamics, because I’m not really doing childhood healing work with any of my clients. And I’m just going to take a second to talk about my clients because shout out to y’all. I love my clients. The majority of my clients are divorced dads, and we just get along so well. Me and the dads, we are two, we’re peas and a pod. And literally during my sessions it’s just super fun. Most of my sessions, if they’re calling me daddy, it’s very sexual. I am digging them down, I’m doing slut training, I’m putting them in bondage and forcing them to give me their holes. And I do a lot of slut training and they’re calling me daddy. And it just really, it’s interesting because family stuff doesn’t come up that often very often at all. I think it comes up more often with queer clients. It comes up more often with maybe younger clients, but it doesn’t come up that often. But I found that people who are into mommy stuff it comes up, it almost always comes up, which I am like that’s emotional. You’re paying me for, you’re not paying me for therapy. I’m a… Yeah, I don’t know.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s definitely different. I also love my clients, but I also really enjoy some of the processing stuff. And I really like playing with trauma in a contained space and I am really interested in what people do with their trauma and how we can, I never really think of it as a session in someone replaying their trauma because they’re coming to it with agency and they’re trying to, I am not the person that they’ve had that experience with. So even if we are playing with their trauma, we’re coming to a different outcome. And I try and always talk with the folks that I’m playing with. But it comes up just so much in mommy stuff. I was reading someone a kid’s book as part of a scene and they told me that they hadn’t been ever read to by their mother. And I’m just like, it’s so intense. But it’s also so beautiful to be able to work with someone to re pattern and give them an experience that they didn’t have or change an experience that they did have. And I will say sometimes it is just hot mommy fetish, milf fetish stuff, but a lot of the people who come to me are like, “I am working through some of this.” Because I also have a theory, which is daddy play I think is more accessible for a lot of people. You’re talking about. I feel especially in the last five years with all the memes of teenage girls calling their partner dad, they’re also teenage boyfriend daddy in this way without thinking about it as being in relation necessarily to anything related to BDSM or leather history or anything like that. And I feel I often give people a mommy fetish is what I’ve found. Also, I feel I have friends who are mommy domes, who get babies coming to them who are fully formed babies. And I feel I get people who are like, “Oh, mistress, Oh, I’ve seen you refer to yourself a lot as mommy. Would it be okay if I called you mommy?” To being like, “Oh, can we work through some of this stuff?” So I wonder if that’s part of it for me? Me too.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah, you’re corrupting them. And I know that your play is very psychologically driven too, which I feel that makes a lot of sense that people are, you are psychologically challenging your clients in a way that is psychologically, emotionally demanding. And I think that, I don’t know, it’s really powerful and profound to see. It’s not the style that I play with, but I love seeing how you do it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, it’s definitely very rewarding and I think I have a fairly high rate that I think allows me to do more emotionally involved work with people and not have to see as many people, which I found to be the most rewarding for me, to be able to really dive in with someone in that intense psychological way. But also, I was talking about this too with the pandemic. I’ve just been seeing less people and I do just miss just perversion for perversion, and in and out and all of the ways of seeing more people and getting to explore.
I don’t want to say on the left side, I’m a very in my body person and love to bring other people into their bodies as well, which I get to do in my play. But seeing a new client and just getting to really connect and being like, “Oh, that was so fun.” And no one else that I see is into that specific thing, so I get to do this new thing. It’s so fun.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yes, it’s really nice.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’m curious, so I know just we talked a little bit about the difference between mommy and daddy dynamics and I know that we have a very sweet, very special shared Little One who sees both of us, and I thought it would be fun to chat a little bit about this person in relationship to how we see them relating to us a little bit differently. And I’m curious if you wanted to start chatting a little bit about them?
Mistrix Sunmi:
Well, I adore Little One so much, and it’s been such a joy to be able to really share them together and to be able to how I feel they’re constantly communicating and telling me, “Oh mommy and I did this.” And it’s so fun world building a world with you in it as well, where Little One’s just communicating both in how the play and D/s between you two influences my D/s with Little One. And it’s just so special. I really love it so much and it’s really fun for me to be able to, because so often as workers, we have our clients and then we only see them ourselves and then we can’t share in that joy, or we’re both corrupting Little One in different ways. And it’s just that play is super fun and very fruitful and interesting for me as a top, being able to find creative ways to channel you into the room with us or to do mommy and daddy play virtually. And all three of us are in different states and it’s so fun.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love that. This is actually an episode about co-parenting, what we’re talking about today.
Mistrix Sunmi:
This is a parent conference.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Oh my God. I just actually had, I’m trying to arrange a mommy conference. Mommy Con is one of my goals, but we should have a Parental Figure Con too. Yeah, it’s been so fun too. And also just watching them get to explore some of the differences between the love and care of a mommy and the love and care of a daddy, and getting to talk about it in this fun way. And I think I just really appreciate how they communicate about it and how excited they are. It’s so fun for me when they’re like, “This is what I did with daddy and daddy told me that you were going to be so proud of me.” And I’m just like, “Oh, it’s so sweet and so special to get to share this parenting journey with you.”
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah, absolutely. I know it’s so fun. And I just love being, I have so much respect for you. I have so much respect for Little One, and it feels like such a gift to be on their journey and to be able to provide a paternal side to it. It’s interesting because the ways in which Little One talks about you, they just worship you and they feel so much warmth and admiration, and it comes off so intensely and it just moves me to see their devotion to you and then over, because y’all have been playing for longer than me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Almost three years now. Yeah.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Right. And that’s an amazing accomplishment. And Little One and I have been playing for less than that I think over a year now. And to be able to have a totally different dynamic with them, it’s amazing. It’s really great. And what better mommy to have in this? I feel so lucky. I’m like, “Hell yeah.” I’m like, “Little One has excellent taste.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s what I tell them all the time. I’m like, “You have phenomenal taste in parental figure.”
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Truly elite. And it is so fun because I feel a lot of, I feel I’ve been able to be maternal figure coaching. A lot of the stuff I’ve done with Little One has been online. I really love doing submissive training online is something I’ve done a lot more of in the pandemic, which I think has just been a really fun way and a lower, actually, I just did an interview with Little One the other day, so maybe that will come out before this. If people want to check out the interview with Mars. And I don’t know, getting to explore at a lower barrier because I think I actually haven’t seen them in person. We’ve played virtually and I know that you’ve gotten to actually feel their flash, which makes me a little jealous. But my time will come. I had a session with them and I sadly had COVID then, and so I was just telling you earlier, they came to drop off goodies at my door and I just stuck my slipper. You can see my foot in the mirror, six feet out the door for them to kiss. And they’re like, “Oh.” It was very sweet, but our time will come. But being able to move really slowly, I think it was a year and a half after seeing me virtually that they hired their first pro-domme for an in-person session and getting to coach them through that experience, to them meeting you and really connecting with you and just being so fucking stoked, and really just I feel accepting some of the darker fantasies. I don’t know if you’re implanting it too.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Some of the dark age play, but I just think it’s so cool getting to watch someone’s journey. And you’re right, it is so often that we’re watching the journey alone in this contained space. And I think getting to watch them move into community spaces and getting to talk with you about it is so exciting.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely. Yeah. Of course, we’re respecting our client’s privacy, so this industry can be very isolating in that way, and being able to share them has just been such a gift.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve had a co-parenting relationship in my pro-dominance. It’s very fun and I feel they’re just so respectful. I feel there’s ways that people can triangulate when they’re seeing multiple pro-doms and especially parental figures, but they’re so communicative and so sweet that it’s really just such a pleasure.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Well, they’ll enjoy it jerking off to this interview, I’m sure.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I would love to hear you talk a little bit more about Dark Ageplay and what that looks like to you.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely. I love Dark Ageplay. I love it. I think people are nervous or afraid to ask for it, and I think that’s a good thing. I think that people should build trust and session. I don’t just jump into Dark Ageplay from the very, very beginning unless that person has a lot of experience, is very self-aware. I vet more heavily when I’m doing more extreme psychological scenes. And I do a lot of really Dark Ageplay in my personal life. So I have a breath of experience doing it in my personal life. And then in my professional life, I do less of it, but the more I’ve been talking about it publicly online, the more it’s been coming into my life, which has been really cool. And I guess, what is the question about Dark Ageplay?
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Well, I guess how would you define Ageplay versus Dark Ageplay? And then what does Dark Ageplay look like for you? If you want to talk me through a fantasy or a memory or something like that of what feels particularly resonant when we’re talking about it?
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely. Great question. So a lot of people call me daddy, and it’s just like, “Yeah, I’m digging them down, they’re calling me daddy. I’m forcing somebody to call me daddy.” And it’s very of, that’s just how my dominance can live. That versus Dark Ageplay, it’s much more negotiated. And when I do Dark Ageplay, it is world-building. I’m like, “Okay, I am your father. I am this.” And I’ll describe myself. I’m like, “Look, I am disgusting. I am in a wife beater, I’m an alcoholic.” I’m all these different world building things. I’m like, “My dick looks like this. It’s disgusting.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
You’re like, “This hot person that you see, not real.” You know?
Mistrix Sunmi:
No. Underneath this femme exterior, I am dirt bag, dirt bag dad. So I’m painting a picture for them. And then at the same time I’m like, “Okay, now who are you? And what are you? Are you the kid next door? Are you mowing my lawn? Are you going to be, did I swoop you off the street? Did I lure you into my dungeon?” I did this Dark Ageplay scene where I was in a hotel and this little girl knocked on my door and she was like, “Hi, I can’t find my parents. I’m lost.” And I was like, “Come on in. I can help you find your parents.” And we did a scene where I had her sit down on a chair and I was like, “Oh, let me look at your cell phone and I’ll try to find them.” And then I take her phone and put it on the counter. She has her little stuffed animal with her, and I was like, “I have this really pretty bracelet that you might like.” And I put handcuffs on her. And then I went to go lock the door. And so suddenly we were doing this Dark Ageplay scene where usually if I’m doing a Dark Ageplay scene, I’ll be like, “Okay, this is the premise of the scene. I want you to,” I’ll give them acting cues, I’ll give them an emotion. “I want you to be confused and then scared.” And so we’re like, “Okay.” So the submissive that I was playing with was then like, “Do you know where my parents are? Can you help me find them?” And I’m just distracting them. I’m like, “Let’s play this game. Come sit on my lap.” And then so it just devolves. But when I do Dark Ageplay scenes, I was saying earlier, I’m really into role play so they can be quite theatrical, but very world building. I’m very hyper verbal during all of my scenes actually. But yeah, it’s a lot more fun. It’s a lot more explicit.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love that too. I feel so much when we think about role play, I don’t know, I feel there’s this, I don’t know how you feel about role play, but I feel I was hesitant about it first. I was like, “I don’t like being given a script. I like to co-create.” But I love the way that you’re talking about it too, where you’re like, “This is who I am, who are you? And what are you bringing into this role play? And this is what I’m bringing and this is what you’re.” I think that it sounds so collaborative and such a fun world. I love how you talk about world building. I feel I don’t hear that a lot talked about in roleplay. And I love that idea of building something together is so fun. And also such a hot scenario. Very fun. Look at this bracelet. And I think the dark stuff is, I don’t know, it’s so fun. I have a dark mommy persona that I really like, which is the over medicated mother who wants you to stay home from school because, “You’re so sick, don’t you know how sick you are? Don’t you want to stay in bed with mommy all day and watch TV? And what if mommy touches you a little bit? Because daddy’s gone and mommy just needs a little bit of attention.” And, “Oh, you want one of mommy’s pills too? Mommy doesn’t want to do anything without you.” And I don’t know, I just feel like the darker, the more fun. And there’s something so special about getting to explore something so dark because the vulnerability it takes, I think on both ends of you being like, “Oh, this is something that I interested in and will you play with me in this capacity?” I feel is a really vulnerable thing.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Definitely. I love it. It’s the most fun for me. It really tickles my brain and it’s so easy for me too. It’s so easy. All of my perversions, all of my fantasies are about really Ageplay for me is we talk about the difference between kinks and fetishes. Kinks. You like a kink, but a fetish you need. I have an Ageplay fetish, so even if I am, and maybe this is, I don’t want people to take this the wrong way, but for me, I find it erotic to be a young femme domme and to dominate older men and to make them younger than me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah.
Mistrix Sunmi:
I am like, “You are my little bitch now. You are my property.” Or forcing them to be younger, like, “Oh, I don’t care if you’re 55 years old. In this room, you are 13 years old now.” And so I find a lot of erotic pleasure in using, I’m in my 20s and a lot of my clients are older than me. And to force them to be younger, it’s just really hot for me. And even if it’s not something we’re explicitly talking about, it’s in the room. And I’ve always found that hot. I’ve always played with older people. I’ve always found it hot to be conception. I’ve always conceptualized myself as much older in fetish space. Yeah, I don’t know.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
And the world you’re building.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah. Absolutely.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think there’s something so interesting that you were saying there too. I’m writing a blog post right now about financial domination and something I’m trying, I’m figuring out how to talk about is that, it is this fetish where it’s like I’m talking about you surrendering your power to me, but unless you’re actually surrendering all of your resources to me and a legal contract and then I have all of the money and decide when you get to eat, where you get to, there’s not a situation where the sex worker has more power than the client. And some of the world building that we do in sessions is while we’re playing with power is subverting some of those power dynamics, but a lot of when you leave the room in most situations, that client will still have more power than the sex worker. And so I think I was hearing a little bit of that and what you were talking about too. And I love the idea of this intentionality of it. And I think even outside of role play, it’s something that all doms do, some of this world building to create this somatic experience of taking away someone’s power, so that the suspension of disbelief that we come into this space and this world that we’re building together, actually feels like this in your body, that you are surrendering power. And I think is really interesting hearing you talk about that with age as well.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah, I would love to hear you talk about how you see mommy play and financial domination playing together, because I feel I can predict a lot of overlap.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. Well, I think everyone should be working for mommy. Mommy’s pleasure is all that matters. Mommy gets whatever mommy wants. And being a good little, there’s a lot of good little worker bee for mommy. Don’t you want to please mommy? You’re too young for this, mommy will take care of it. It’s very much like that everything you do is for mommy’s pleasure and really just heightening that. And I feel my interest in financial domination, I feel I have a trio, which is I’m very interested in financial domination. I’m very interested in mommy play, and I’m very interested in just straight D/s and D/s training. I feel financial domination and D/s relationships feel more directly connected to me because I don’t feel someone is, I don’t like the pretense that someone is surrendering power to me. I like that they’re actually surrendering power to me. And I don’t think that you can actually surrender power to someone who you have significantly more resources than, than by changing that. And I think the mommy thing, I’m talking through this, I’m thinking about this as we talked through it, but I think the mommy thing then is overarching over a lot of those two. So it’s I am mommy and these are my two deeply held beliefs. And as we explore power dynamics, then everything goes up the funnel to mommy. Everything for mommy’s pleasure, everything to make life easier for mommy. And just the Little One who is just always working to get that attention and that pleasure and knowing what their priorities are.
Mistrix Sunmi:
I love that. Yeah, it’s super interesting too. Something I was just thinking of is in a lot of cultures, children are expected to take care of their parents when their parents get older. You’re saving for your parents’ retirement. And I think something that’s really hot that just came to my mind is that moms always live longer. So you’re like, “mommy’s retirement, you got to save up. Mommy’s going to live a long life.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, I’m going to need 20% more than daddy.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah, exactly.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I looked at my watch. That was a calculator for some reason.
Mistrix Sunmi:
You’re like, this clock.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s ticking. I’m going to be here a long time. My family does live very long. All of my great-grandparents were over 100 or so.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Wow.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, we lived too long.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Oh my God.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. That’s an interesting question. I think for me, it really is about, at its crux, it’s about power for me in my style of domination. And that’s always been what it was from back when I was younger and had no language for BDSM and was tease and denying partners and doing orgasm control before having any language for this.
One of my favorite activities when I was younger too, this is a terrible thing, but I was younger, but I loved getting people who had partners to tell me, to beg me to hook up with them. And then I’d be like, “That would be so terrible. You’re going to cheat on your partner?” And I would just humiliate them. Then I would go home and jerk off and that was one of my early roots was getting someone to do something bad and then humiliating them about it. And no, it was for me, it was I have the power to get them to make this decision that is taboo for them.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah, that’s amazing.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It was very fun for me. I’m curious about, we talked a little bit about the beginning, going to queer, punk house, BDSM parties, and I’m curious how you relate your queerness to daddy play? And I feel there’s so much there in being a femme domme daddy or a lesbian dominatrix and how this subverts traditional, what we see about traditional femme domme. And I’m curious how that plays out in your practice?
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah. I think being, it’s interesting being I am very out about being queer and just being a lesbian femme domme. A lot of my clients who come to me, I do a lot of slut training sessions and that’s because I love taking my subs and corrupting them. So I have a heavy corruption fetish and being able, and I do a lot of sissy play. A lot of really fun gender play. So my domme mentor’s domination style has had a significant influence in my domination style. And she was really into gender fuckery in a way that I just really love and admire. And their ability to, Mistress Lina Lavender was my mentor for anyone listening who might remember. Lina retired last year. But my mentor just, yeah, they love doing sissy play and I also now love doing that. And so, I don’t know, I think it’s just really hot. I turn a lot of my submissives into my little cock sleeves or my little sissy sluts. My little cock sucking sluts. And it’s fun as being so queer and being so lesbian that it just draws people to me who want me to slut them out. They want to be a lesbian. I’ve done, me and Empress Wu, who is phenomenal, I cannot talk more highly of anyone in this field. I just have so much love for them in my heart. But Empress Wu and I do a lot of doubles and we do a lot of lesbian cuckolding sessions. And so there’s a lot there in either turning, and I’ve done this with Mr. Civil too, in doubles, turning our clients into lesbians and then having sex with them, corrupting them and being like, “This is lesbian sex. Lesbian sex is better, and we’re going to turn you into a woman and teach you all of the ways.” And then humiliation, cuckolding them and being like, “You’ll never be able to pleasure a woman or pleasure a domme in the ways that we can pleasure each other.” And it’s really hot. So I have a lot of fun doing it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love that. I get a lot of gender play and mommy sessions, which is very fun. Mommy will show you how to be a woman and show you how to receive pleasure. Mommy will turn you into a woman in all the ways of taking virginities and full transformation, is really, really fun. And I feel a really fun lesbian domination style of being able to, it’s just what a gift. Whether or not you’re into being feminized, what a gift for a femme to transform you. And it feels like this really beautiful and perverse initiation into this thing that you get to explore, and you can go as far down the rabbit hole as you like.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Absolutely.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
So I’m curious, as we start to wrap up the conversation, if there’s anything else that you wanted to make sure we chatted about.
Mistrix Sunmi:
I feel super happy with all of the things that we have discussed. This has just been so lovely.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I know. I am really happy about this and getting to talk about our special Little One and some of the differences of mommy and daddy dynamics and the joys of lesbian domination truly is just so special. Well, if people want to find you, where can they find you?
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah, so my website is mistrixsunmi.com. And for now my Instagram is serve.sunmi. My Twitter is servesunmi. One word, just as is. Anyone else is a catfish. My FetLife is servesunmi. And I am on OnlyFans also as serve.sunmi.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love it. It seems like people should be serving you, is the subtext that I got from that.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It would seem silly not to. And I’m online at mistrisblunt.com. And all of my socials are at bluntlinks.com. I’ll just share that because they just get deleted so often, it’s terrible. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for chatting with me.
Mistrix Sunmi:
Thank you.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yay. That was so fun.
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