Mistress Danielle Blunt interviews her Femdom sister Domina Dia Dynasty about Femdom Sisterhood, our styles of domination, and our kinky fantasies surrounding The Femdom Farm.
Read more: Femdom Dominatrix Mistress Blunt Interviews Domina Dia Dynasty
Danielle Blunt:
Hello, my name is Danielle Blunt. Some of you might know me as Mistress Blunt. I am a professional dominatrix based out of New York City, currently quarantining in Upstate New York. I’m here with my friend Dia Dynasty. Could you introduce yourself?
Dia Dynasty:
Hi, I’m Dia Dynasty. I am also a professional dominatrix in New York City as well as a shamanatrix. We’ll get to that later. I am one half of La Maison du Rouge. Lucy Sweetkill and I co-founders. I am the matriarch of the Femdom Farm.
Danielle Blunt:
I can’t wait to dig into all of that. Right before we started recording, we were talking about something really amazing that you and Lucy do with La Maison du Rouge, and non-pandemic times is host these Femdom gatherings, and was thinking a little bit about how we met. I think something that I so admire about you and what you and Lucy do with La Maison du Rouge is creating this Femdom community that I really didn’t have it before this very intentional reach out. I was just thinking about the first email that you sent me when we went out to lunch together for the first time, and just reaching out to build that Femdom community.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s something that I really, really miss more than anything else is that sisterhood. When Lucy and I first met at the Dungeon, we had a small sisterhood with some of the girls there, although we didn’t choose them of course. That was something that we wanted to keep building once we left. So, aside from having La Maison du Rouge be a brand that helps educate and demystify BDSM to all kinds of people, it was important to also gather behind the scenes, and talk shop, and to revive the sisterhood, but with people that of course we choose.
Danielle Blunt:
I love that about that, because I don’t come from a house dungeon space. I very much went independent when I first started working, so that camaraderie and that skill sharing and just having people who understand the ins and outs of the industry is so, so important to have that community.
Dia Dynasty:
So important because it can be so isolating when you’re doing this on your own. It can also feel like there’s this conflict between ego and wanting to be in community sometimes, I think, with this persona of dominatrix where you’re like, “Well, maybe I should know these things, or maybe I should go find this information out on my own,” versus, “I really need somebody else to relate to. I need somebody else that I can vent to these things, and have them understand what I’m talking about,” because this industry is pretty unique, and that the power dynamic sets the tone for so much of what we do.
That power dynamic exists, of course, in other places, but within the Femdom community, we are all equals, and we’re all trying to navigate these power dynamics in such an unusual way too in our own ways. That sisterhood and camaraderie was another thing that I also never really experienced until I got to the house dungeon, which then I was just like, “This is great.” Being an only child, it wasn’t something that I was able to cultivate for myself, especially since I moved around so much. Once meeting Lucy, and knowing more about Lucy and her family dynamics, she was the one that brought it more into my life, and also grew it too. It’s very valuable.
Danielle Blunt:
I miss it so much.
Dia Dynasty:
I miss it so much too.
Danielle Blunt:
It’s so amazing to be in a space, a non-competitive space with your colleagues, and that’s in this room of incredibly powerful Femdoms, and being able to share that energy outside of a client’s gaze is also something that’s really enjoyable to me. Just the fact that it doesn’t feel at all competitive to me. It feels like so, so supportive of being able to workshop what’s going on for someone, or if an issue comes up in a session, what things could we have done differently? I feel like so many other industries that are professionalized have something like that, and it just feels so unique and special to have in the Femdom community. I’m so grateful that you reached out to me.
Dia Dynasty:
Me too. I mean, I’m so grateful for each and every dom that I’ve come to know, also outside of the industry, just as friends, and to see how different we are and behind the scenes of course, and then to see the dom persona also, and just knowing that this industry has so much room for all of us, and that we don’t have to be competitive, and that we can be supportive. There isn’t necessarily going to be a lack of anything. It’s more of, like you said, sharing. Also, I’m more of a creative, and Lucy’s definitely very adept at business.
So, I learned a lot from her through not just direct contact, but also from her sharing her own skills with other people, and sharing tips, and during the Femdom Farm talking about all these different ways of doing things. I definitely miss that, and I wish we could do that, but it’s just not the same over Zoom, unfortunately.
Danielle Blunt:
I know. These little interviews are my mini attempt at substitution for in the in-person gathering, so I can keep some of the Femdom kink alive for myself and hopefully for other people to enjoy as well. I feel like something that we’ve really connected over the past few years is something a little bit unique about ideas around our Femdom philosophies. I would love if you would talk a little bit about what is your Femdom philosophy. When you call yourself a shamanatrix, what does that mean?
Dia Dynasty:
That’s a lot of stuff I’m going to cover. But first of all, I just want to say thank you for inviting me to this coffee chat. I’m so glad that our community is still in touch with each other, and that this is such a great idea. It’s just a casual little chat. Of course, with the La Maison du Rouge, live broadcast is a little more systematized, which is awesome because we have such an amazing archive of people. But getting to deepen the connection with you through this chat, I also really value and appreciate, so thank you.
Danielle Blunt:
Yes, and that’s such a wealth of information you have. I’ll definitely link to the Periscope interviews. It’s so much information.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s many, many years of so many different types of people talking about kink and sexuality. It’s definitely a good pandemic binge watching series.
Danielle Blunt:
That’s such a good idea, a good submissive task.
Dia Dynasty:
To answer your other questions, Femdom to me has evolved over the years that I’ve been engaged in this work. I consider it a craft, which means something that you learn more parts of and how to hone, and you will evolve as a craftsperson, as a dom, which I think is super important for longevity and sustainability, because I think in the beginning, what Femdom meant to me was just this persona, this maybe slightly two-dimensional persona of dominance and sexiness and vixen, dangerous.
Danielle Blunt:
I’m like, “Yes, yes hot, but three dimensional. Yes.”
Dia Dynasty:
Yes, but that maybe the psychology and the emotional need of what that was wasn’t very clear to me yet. Over the years, I’ve definitely cultivated a lot of interests within kink and within Femdom. I think ultimately, I’ve come back full circle to this idea of reciprocity, where as an identity, maybe I’m more of a switch, and Femdom is one aspect of the world that I occupy. In Femdom, it’s expanded to include what reciprocity might mean in relationship to everything else around me. So, in my opinion, in the context of right now, where we live in a very heteronormative, patriarchal, capitalistic economy and society, Femdom is the other side of the spectrum where the pendulum needs to swing in order to find the balance in the middle.
Because ultimately, we do want to strive for harmony and balance, I would hope, but Femdom is a lifestyle. It’s a consciousness. It’s sister to matriarchy, which is not exactly patriarchy with a female instead of a male. It’s more so egalitarian and cooperative. The way that we’re talking about these Femdom gatherings and this Femdom community is there is no hierarchy. There is no person at the top of the pyramid. We’re all across the board. There’s no competition. It’s more about collaboration. I think, Femdom can pave the way for something closer to that in our everyday lives.
Danielle Blunt:
I love that. I love that so much, the Femdom cooperative. I think that’s something that I’ve learned about it too, and over the years, my dominant persona has evolved and totally seconding that, I think, switches make the best doms. I will die on that hill.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s a big hill. There’s a lot of us on it.
Danielle Blunt:
It’s a big hill. I think that there’s something very special about creating a space to subvert power dynamics. I think it can be an incredibly cathartic experience as well as… I like to talk about… In yoga, they talk about what lessons can you take off of the mat. I like to think like, “What can you take out of the dungeon?” I like my Femdom practice to not just be about a scene, but how are you treating the women in your life? How are you honoring collaboration and community and cooperative practices? For me, a lot of what that has been looking like, as I’ve developed in my dom career, is working with folks who are working with me regularly to ensure that they have community.
Even within my D/s relationships, I don’t want to be put in a position or on a pedestal where I’m infallible, where I can’t make a mistake, where my authority can’t be questioned. I’d like to be able to be held accountable to a community. I think that feels also a subversion of the existing power dynamics outside of the D/s dynamic and what you can really bring into your life outside of a scene.
Dia Dynasty:
I fully, fully agree with what can you take out of something that happens within a sacred space or within a little capsule? What are you learning from it that can ripple outward? I love that you’ve used yoga also as a reference, because I think that yoga has a lot of really amazing lessons and ideas that can be held in philosophical ways, but also in practical ways. So, that’s, again, what Femdom is to me. It’s not just the fantasy of a dominant woman, because, sure, that’s subversive in this very patriarchal consciousness. But when you are thinking outside or beyond your own desires, you are expanding your consciousness.
You are thinking about the women in your life. Then beyond the women in your life, maybe you are thinking about the nature and how women and nature and the oppression of the two have been very parallel. What are you… If you are a heteronormative, cisgendered white man, how can you expand your consciousness in ways that are not so self-serving, and not just serving the one in front of you or the one that you worship, but everything that she cares about too?
Danielle Blunt:
I love this idea of what can we take from Femdom to change the world? I think it really is… In this conversation, it has been coming back to this. I talked a lot about it with Lucy as well is the difference between erotic submission and service submission. I think what we’re starting to talk about is the fetishization of the dominant woman or the dominant archetype versus taking a step back from the power that you hold, and intentionally and consentionally stepping away from that to learn from and honor women and femmes, and see through that relinquishing of power, what can be learned? What can be surrendered, and how can that translate to the relationships that you cultivate outside of a D/s scene?
Dia Dynasty:
There’s definitely a lifestyle element to that, even though it doesn’t have to become your lifestyle. If your life doesn’t really allow for that or doesn’t have space for that, it can be an internal change and an internal shift. I think that that’s one of the more important things about that disparity between the fantasy of the dominant woman archetype and the world of wonder that opens up when you decide that, “I can be in service to so much more than just my boner or just my orgasm.”
Danielle Blunt:
It’s so eloquently put. It’s so true, surrendering your devotion to your boner, and seeing what can happen. I have a question for you about… You talked a little bit about the evolution of Dia Dynasty from more a two-dimensional, archetypical what you then thought was an embodiment of power, and into what more sounds like a holistic understanding and cooperative understanding of Femdom. I’m wondering if you have any anecdotes or ways that you now find your work more fulfilling, or anything about that shift in consciousness through embodying a feminine dominant archetype that’s happened for you.
Dia Dynasty:
Absolutely. In the beginning, I think that maybe dominance wasn’t necessarily something that I fully understood, and so I played the part through performance. It was more, I guess, along the line of service topping that I was doing, which was fun. Like, “Sure, I’ll do whatever you ask me to. Sure, I’ll put Crisco on these dish gloves, and put it in you or whatever.” It was just fun pervy stuff. It was such a performance for me that I was not really remembering any of it. I was just in the moment and in the flow, and doing the flow thing, and then coming back to my body, and then being like, “Oh, that was fun,” but no, I didn’t retain any of that.
Danielle Blunt:
How do you integrate it to then?
Dia Dynasty:
Right, totally. I would have to say that my real understanding of dominance didn’t really happen until maybe halfway through this whole… I’ve been doing this for about 11 years, so I would say five years in. I started to understand more and more that dominance wasn’t about acting a certain way, or saying certain things. It was just about being in your power. That can come out in many different ways for many different people. For me specifically, I was more playful and also very spiritual, and so these two elements mingling together were expressions of my dominance.
But for a while, I didn’t exactly know how to integrate these parts of myself into the ego-centered persona of what I wanted to project. There was this conflict where I was like, “Who am I? Am I this? Am I that? What works? Also, what do other people want to see me as?” That was also another factor. Then I was just like, “You know what, none of that really matters. What matters right now is that I find my own core and my own center in all of this.” I have to say that that was especially challenging, because having started this endeavor with Lucy, I was always alongside her.
I’m one of those people that is very easily mutable. My sign is mutable. All my signs are mutable, and mutability keeps me from being able to really, really stand solid in something, because even though I’m not necessarily a pleaser, I’m usually like, “That’s cool with me.” It’s not that important for me to fight over. I’m not going to-
Danielle Blunt:
It’s like you served this topping. You’re like, “Cool. Sounds fun.” Is it exactly what I want?
Dia Dynasty:
Exactly
Danielle Blunt:
I’m not quite sure, but let’s do it. It sounds fun.
Dia Dynasty:
Let’s try it. I tend to live rather experimentally sometimes, so let’s see what happens. Then it takes me a while to live through that experiment, and then be like, “This is not for me, or this is for me. I love it.” There was a period also of just being in the mode of Dia Dynasty, but not fully cognizant and owning everything about Dia Dynasty, because it was still all up in the air. But I feel like in the last… I’m going to say in the last few months of pandemic, I’ve really, really come into my power, and really, really been able to hone all the things ,and begin to plant seeds of what is super duper important to me.
As a femdom, I actually enjoy the lifestyle of it way more than the business of it. I’m not a business person. Money’s great, but it’s-
Danielle Blunt:
I feel the same way.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s a bit of a harrowing, tumultuous boat ride to do the business part of it, where I’m like, “Oh, emails. Oh, rates. Oh, just all this stuff.” What I just want to do is have people that will do things for me, or that will give their bodies to me, and also who are aligned with these more philosophical beliefs that I think that you and I share as well as that I’ve already been established outside of Femdom like ecofeminism, which I think is amazing. Once I discovered Vandana Shiva and all of her wisdom, I was like, “Whoa.” Then also this movement of rewilding, I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but going-
Danielle Blunt:
Please elaborate.
Dia Dynasty:
Huh?
Danielle Blunt:
Please elaborate.
Dia Dynasty:
Rewilding, oh no, my light just went off, is this idea of coming back to our… It’s more centered on women and femmes, of coming back to our roots of who we were before all the social conditioning of patriarchy started to make us doubt who we were, like being connected to nature, having our moon cycles sync up with each other’s when the moon is doing its thing. Somebody in a female body notices these things, and feels that connection, whether they want to or not. They have to address them to some degree. If you have… Not every female body person has a menstrual cycle, but if you have a menstrual cycle, you will notice that when you’re around other people with menstrual cycles that they start to sync up, which is one of the things-
Danielle Blunt:
The people with menstrual cycles, it does happen. I’ve noticed in the femdom spaces, we often are… I’m still synced up with half of the doms who would go to the femdom meetings.
Dia Dynasty:
Exactly.
Danielle Blunt:
From what I’m hearing a little bit, it’s like that return to ritual that connects us with nature, with systems of organization outside of capitalism is also part of what Femdom is about.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes, and also the root of connection that we are all still connected to, but will forget sometimes, the menstrual cycle being one of them, but also how a lot of women and femmes are naturally good at healing and taking care of others, animals, plants, whatever, creating food and craft, which in bulk is a pagan holiday that just passed. It’s one of the things that we do, because we’re connected to… We are a part of the natural world. It’s not that we’re just connected. We are all a part of it, and food and craft being some of the things that reminds us that spring is on its way, and we have to keep the fire burning. Whatever thing you do in the kitchen, it’s something that-
Danielle Blunt:
It isn’t that you have a body that needs to be fed and sustained and nurtured and cared for.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
You can’t just click, click, clack for 12 hours a day.
Dia Dynasty:
No. You need to feed yourself, and you need to keep your creative fire alive by doing something. That part of you is inherent and needs feeding. Totally. Rewilding, this is whole other thing, and then a lot of the indigenous knowledge that I’ve been coming into also is based in matrilineal storytelling. A lot of the matriarchal figures are also seed keepers, and so that to me is very close to nature and about the rewilding process of remembering that we hold in our physical bodies all the seeds. We were born with all these seeds. Whether we choose to birth them or whatever, of course, we need the right conditions.
These things are very natural and inherent to the way that we live, creating a home, creating warmth. There is… It’s rich with symbolism, but also meaning what Femdom covers. It’s not just kinky stuff, but it includes kinky stuff because kink also is a naturally occurring thing in nature. Homosexuality is a naturally occurring thing in nature as is prostitution and all kinds of these more wild and instinctual animal parts of ourselves.
Danielle Blunt:
Something you were saying about these seeds reminds me of this Kabbalah Jewish mysticism myth of Tikkun Olam, which is in my paraphrasing of a very beautiful mythological story is the idea that when the universe was created, it was the shattering and little pieces of light were in every living creature. It was through the reassembled and collecting of those shards or those seeds, and working collaboratively in community that the Messiah would come. I think that’s a very beautiful myth that always stuck with me through childhood, that I still reflect on in my reflections of BDSM and Femdom and spirituality.
I think it alluded in yoga too like namaste like, “The light in me acknowledges the light in you.” I think it’s through coming together, we’re really able to embody that. One thing that I hear you talking about as this shift from a more two-dimensional archetypical service top into your current understanding of what Femdom means to you, and how you embody it and practice it is this idea of becoming. It’s going back to what you were saying about reciprocity, and then what I’m also hearing is this idea of boundaries is knowing the self like self-awareness, and knowing what your boundaries are so that you can hold them and get the needs met.
It’s a two-part process of being self-aware enough to know what your needs are, and being able to create the space to do the work so you’re able to acknowledge desires that are often repressed, and creating the boundaries so that you can pursue those desires, which for me, in my practice, has been a lot less. I think I’ve been working for maybe 10 to 12 years. I was doing BDSM in my personal life beforehand, so I’m not totally sure when I started going pro.
Dia Dynasty:
The natural progression.
Danielle Blunt:
Truly, but I think part of that evolution for me too was just continually being like, “No, that’s not something I’m interested in. That’s not something I’m interested in.” I say it on my website. It’s like, “I’m not interested in your fantasy. I’m interested in this space where our desires intersect, and that my desires will not intersect with everyone.” I am totally fine with that. This idea of what you were talking about of it being a lifestyle, I’m also much more interested in these patron type figures who are interested in learning from me and that type of role. I don’t like the power dynamics present with patron and muse, but I love the idea of it.
I mean, it’s taking the power dynamics and the power dynamics outside of these systems, but still taking some of what’s great, because material contribution is necessary in this world. I feel like both of us are people who are space makers, or people who are interested in holding the space or containing the space or creating space for ritual to happen. It’s been really sweet for me to invite people into that space, especially when there’s a form of material support is what they’re offering for access to this space, that they’re also creating the space in my life to allow for it to happen.
Dia Dynasty:
I mean, I definitely agree with this idea that you and I are space makers and space holders. I think, space is terribly overlooked in our culture. The space to be vulnerable, the space to make mistakes, the space to grow in-
Danielle Blunt:
That space sounds great.
Dia Dynasty:
Let’s have more of that please, the space to transition and to transform the way that moths and butterflies create that space with that shell. Then inside, they feel free to turn into a goo, a formless goo. When do we ever get to-
Danielle Blunt:
That’s what happens in scenes sometimes. It is like you create the container, and literally can turn someone to mush. Sometimes there’s some transformation that happens that can fly out of the dungeon.
Dia Dynasty:
Exactly. I love that so much. It’s so fulfilling to see maybe even just a tiny spark of a seed being planted where that transformation takes place as time goes by too. I think that that’s a really important aspect of a Femdom really is holding that space for somebody else, and creating that space for these unknowns to happen.
Danielle Blunt:
I love that. I love that, and I love the idea of hammering down this idea of reciprocity, because it’s like we can do that for other people. Something I’ve been working on in my personal life is creating this space for myself to have those experiences as well. I know you’re talking about switching. I know we both have some switchy tendencies as well. Mine, I like to execute every other year, which the pandemic has postponed, but that idea of reciprocity. I see some of it coming through. It’s like the space we hold for clients or submissives in the context of a scene as well as a space that we hold for each other to fuck up, to break down, to be vulnerable in that Femdom community.
It’s something that’s very unique and special that I don’t have in a lot of other aspects of my life. But that idea of reciprocity, that both… We can hold this space for others, and we can also be vulnerable and allow that space to be held for ourselves as well.
Dia Dynasty:
All of that is so valuable in growth, which is ultimately what nature wants to do. Nature wants to grow, and we’re a part of nature, but also the reciprocity being that that is the cycle of… It’s not tit for tat. Sometimes, there’s a little more on one side than the other. Then other times, there’s a little more on the other side, but it’s also based in abundance mentality, abundance consciousness, where I have enough, and I’m going to keep giving because that’s what I do. I’m going to keep holding these spaces, because that’s what I do. I’m naturally this kind of person.
In being this kind of person, you create relationships with everything and everybody around you. I have the relationship with this plant right here, this plant, Miss Lily, because she’s providing oxygen and cleanliness to my home, and beauty. So, I will take care of her, not because of what I get out of her, but because that’s what I like to do. I enjoy providing. Reciprocity is sourced in the origin rather than what you’re getting. You know what I mean?
Danielle Blunt:
It’s so interesting. That is also part of the Tikkun Olam myth, which also talks about the different ways of bringing those sparks together is through community service is another meaning of the word Tikkun Olam, and that the top tier of community service is donation gifted without a name so that there’s no expectation of being thanked. It’s solely an act of generosity without attachment to ego. I think it’s that idea that reciprocity and like in Femdom relationships or in any relationship isn’t necessarily linear. If someone was doing a service task for me, they might be getting something out of the act of doing that service for me that ties them to me.
While my energy isn’t necessarily being directly extended towards them, that act of service is working on the relationship as a whole. I think of that as a ritual practice as you would in some ways pray to someone, or write in a journal, and you can create these relationships that are reciprocal, but not necessarily completely-
Dia Dynasty:
Symmetrical.
Danielle Blunt:
I think that’s a great way, or linear. It comes back, and I think what we forget is sometimes there will be times where one is doing more work or spiraling, or one needs to do more of that work to keep that connection.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s not perfectly parallel all the time, or perfectly symmetrical, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s balanced, and everybody benefits.
Danielle Blunt:
Balanced and reciprocal and in a capacity that’s maybe not linear or parallel as well as ideally mutually beneficial, I think, is the part that I like to hammer home about Femdom and D/s relationships. It not necessarily always looks like it’s balanced, but that dynamic should be mutually fulfilling to each party, and having conversations about what makes it mutually fulfilling.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes. Absolutely, because we all have different needs. I mean, we all have similar needs, but we also have different needs. Ideally, you are a circle, and you come together with something or somebody else, and you form this little… It’s called a vesica piscis, which is the yoni-shaped thing in the middle, and both of your needs are met, even though they’re not the same needs all the time, because ideally, you’re taking care of your own basic needs.
Danielle Blunt:
That you have other really… That it’s not just two circles is the other thing I try and hammer home in D/s Dynamics is I really don’t like being someone’s only source for kink. I find it to be… I’m happy to work with people who that is the case where I am the only outlet, but I also encourage people to reach out beyond that. I know not everyone’s going to live a 24/7 D/s dynamic or have these lifestyle Femdom relationships, but the idea that there are multiple people in your life that you can talk about some of your relationships with feels really important to me.
Dia Dynasty:
Ideally. You have a support system, not just a cane.
Danielle Blunt:
Totally. I think it puts too much pressure on me as a dom to be someone’s one and only, especially I feel like previously in my career, a lot of my clients weren’t as open with their partners, whereas now a lot of them are.
Dia Dynasty:
Speaking of-
Danielle Blunt:
Interlude from my partner, Franklin, I have no clue what he was talking about, but maybe Frankie was trying to tell us that this is the perfect time to transition to the vision for the Femdom Farm. I would love to hear a little bit about what your vision is, where you’re at with that process, and what seeds you’re hoping to plant.
Dia Dynasty:
I love talking about this, so thank you, Frankie. Thank you, Franklin for the cue. The Femdom Farm is a physical space. As we were talking about holding spaces, I feel like this is my magnum opus, and it’s not just about me. There’s going to be a lot of people involved in creating and bringing this space together, and growing it, but it’s a physical space that was a farm. There are buildings on it. There’s a farmhouse and a barn full of hay. There are two silos, two grain silos, one on each end of the barn. There’s a heifer shed, which houses the tractor and the Baylor and all the other things.
There is a guest cottage, which I believe has three bedrooms. Then there’s a maple shack, which lives in the woods. It’s 80 acres. It’s half wooded and half pasture. It’s on a hill.
Danielle Blunt:
Sounds amazing.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s amazing because it’s close to nature. There’s a lot of space, and it’s essentially… In the lens of kink, it’s a giant kinky playground. There isn’t necessarily going to be a designated dungeon because the whole place is the play space.
Danielle Blunt:
I love that. I saw you posting when I was following on your OnlyFans like, “What would I do to you on this tree? It’s so hot.” When I furnish spaces or design spaces, I’m like, “How can this be pervertible?” There’s hard points on the wall, just part of the decor. It’s not like I have to traverse downstairs into a dungeon space. I feel this way about both of our relationship with moss is another thing we have in common. It’s just like, “Yes, I will now have a sensual, intimate, romantic relationship with this moss-covered rock.” It’s like it’s outside of the bedroom.
Dia Dynasty:
I want to be a moss-covered rock. I want to touch myself, and only feel moss.
Danielle Blunt:
Was it at the party where Shine and Emmy were rolling around to become one with a moss for us?
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
I’m imagining scenes like that would happen at the Femdom Farm.
Dia Dynasty:
Oh yeah, and more, because it’s going to be a place that also has certain spaces. There’s a pretty large basement in the farmhouse, so there’s going to be… There’s a weird little chicken coop in the basement right now, which it’s about the dimensions of, let’s say, a tiny Brooklyn bedroom, a tiny Manhattan bedroom. It’s done in this weird chicken wire, which I’m going to replace with actual jail bars. So, it’s going to be a functioning jail cell, and then there are-
Danielle Blunt:
I love that my friends have functioning prison cells in their basement.
Dia Dynasty:
Not enough, because sometimes you just got to lock a bitch up, and where do you go for that?
Danielle Blunt:
You need some alone time, sweetie.
Dia Dynasty:
You got to go in time out in the jail. Also, the shack, the maple shack in the woods is originally built for harvesting the syrup from all the maple trees in the woods, but I haven’t started learning about that yet, and I intend to. I’m definitely going to have some help. But until then, it is the initiation shack, let’s call it. I’ve definitely tweeted about some fantasies where I abduct somebody, and bring them in with that bag over their head, and then throw them in there with a chain and a collar and a bottle of water and a shovel. That’s all you get for however much time I decide that it takes for you to-
Danielle Blunt:
I love this. I’ve been loving your tweets about the farm. I recently had a prisoner in mommy’s basement, and my favorite sadistic thing that I did in mommy’s basement was this prisoner really liked cream. So, we were playing with regimenting food intake. I went down and brought them a bowl of cream. I had Frankie who interrupted us before as my well-trained dog by my side, so he came down with me. I told him to sit, and then I put the cream out, and they reached for it. I was like, “No,” and then Frankie ate the cream in front of them. I was just like, “Oh.” It was so perfect the look on their face.
Dia Dynasty:
Oh my goodness.
Danielle Blunt:
Chef’s kiss. Perfect.
Dia Dynasty:
I love it. Oh, gosh. Like, “Oh no, all that cream, I thought it was from me.”
Danielle Blunt:
I could also… I am very against surveillance technologies, but in mommy’s basement, we did have an upgraded surveillance system put in. Now, I have a surveillance fetish, so I would 10 out of 10 recommend for the initiation shed, because you can mix it up.
Dia Dynasty:
I like that, because that definitely satisfies the control aspect and also the voyeurism aspect.
Danielle Blunt:
A safety thing too. Why not?
Dia Dynasty:
Practical.
Danielle Blunt:
Practical method.
Dia Dynasty:
I like that, the surveillance… Now, you can do all that through your phone. That’s really…
Danielle Blunt:
I don’t love the system or the ethics behind the technology, but it was very fun to be able to speak to my prisoner without them seeing me or being able to be like, “Why are you doing that? This is what you’re supposed to be doing.” I said, “Don’t fucking move,” or hearing them when they talked. I had multiple doms here, and we were just scouring over the footage. It was so… We all had a new fetish after that weekend in mommy’s basement.
Dia Dynasty:
Oh my goodness. Yeah. That’s so interesting. I had a chastity slave for a long time, and he would put himself on surveillance for me. I didn’t fully take advantage of that. I was just like… I have to say that I missed a lot of opportunities with him. This was during my time of transition where I didn’t know who I wanted to be or who I was, so I definitely had those seeds planted, and didn’t water them. Thank you for the reminder. The Femdom Farm is also a place beyond just a kinky playground and maybe some lifestyle engagements.
It’s a place that will be a forever home for my mother and I. That’s the genesis of this whole idea where my mom was like, “Well, what are you going to do later?” I couldn’t imagine my mom going to live in a retirement community or a home. There isn’t really anybody else. All of her sisters have families or are intolerable. I want my mom near me. She’s an amazing cook, but she’s also just so sweet and so funny.
Danielle Blunt:
I love that. That was so cute,
Dia Dynasty:
Put my mom to work. No, she’s just really funny and sweet and open-minded. She knows what I do, and I think that she would really enjoy being a secondhand femdom.
Danielle Blunt:
My mom’s the same way. She’s like, “When’s one of your submissive going to get me a pair of shoes?” She’s like, “What do I have to do for those red bottoms?”
Dia Dynasty:
My mom asked me a really funny question like that in that vein where she’s like, “Maybe you can set me up with one of your submissives.” I’m like, “No, mom. Don’t go there, but I will bring you to the Femdom Farm, and you can boss some of them around without having to marry them.” She’s really important to me. She was a single mother. She did so much stuff in her early motherhood that was not done culturally like divorcing a man after he abused her in many different ways.
My mom is extremely strong and a total inspiration to me, and very grounded and practical. She has a garden, so that’s another thing that she and I are going to do together is garden. I want to create a whole garden just with her, even though we have gardens at the Femdom Farm already, many of which are full of prickly berries, which I’m excited to get some subs to-
Danielle Blunt:
[inaudible 00:49:15] garden perhaps.
Dia Dynasty:
Some gardening subs, and since they have brambly stems and branches, it would be funny to, I don’t know, have a sub wear something frilly and that will catch on those things, and try to harvest berries while they’re all caught in the brambles. That’ll be cute.
Danielle Blunt:
I will say you have some of the most creative sadism that I’ve encountered, which is saying someting. Your creative sadism is very endearing.
Dia Dynasty:
Thank you. I have to say that my creativity is so enriched and fueled by nature. I’m just feeling. I’m just feeding off of what’s there. My mom and I will have a forever home there. It’s also going to be a place of learning and reeducating where the main belief systems are connection to nature through… sorry, connection to spirit through nature. I guess the most general term that I can use is paganism, because it’s a pantheistic belief system that honors every living thing, which is in line with indigenous practices, the way that they honored the spirit of everything and every force, even the force that pushes mushrooms up through the ground, and the force that decomposes dead things.
There’s going to be a melding of these indigenous practices and wisdom, paganism, and all done through a more matriarchal cooperative way. I’m forgetting something. I definitely have… Let me look at my notes real quick. I had some notes. Ecofeminism also in… I had mentioned ecofeminism as well being a very important philosophical component of how we reeducate, and bringing that into everybody’s consciousness because I think a lot of people don’t see the parallels between the oppression of women and nature, but they’re very obvious once you start looking.
It’s also… You’d mentioned the word holistic, and I think that that’s definitely the overall approach to everything is taking into consideration all the parts of being human, and all the parts of being a part of the natural world, and bringing them together to harmonize. A lot of western medicine treats acute symptoms where a lot of times, the actual source of the disease is not your skin or-
Danielle Blunt:
It’s something larger.
Dia Dynasty:
It’s something larger, and sometimes it’s even something unseen. That’s how we embody spirit is that we take into consideration the energetic, the emotional, the physical, the environmental, the sexual, and everything, and treat. Not that everybody that’s coming is going to be sick, but it’s for healing our relationship with nature, which I think-
Danielle Blunt:
I think part of holistic medicine and holistic thinking to me is not just treating people who have symptoms or who are sick, but living in a way that promotes that harmony and balance within the self. Personally, I’m all for Western and Eastern interventions for medicine like what works for you, but I think part of what I really like about holistic thinking and rituals is that all of these things support your life before you’re in crisis.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
Danielle Blunt:
Virtual, holistic medicine and community, it’s like you already have these structures and these systems in place that are there to support you.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
So, if you’re in crisis, or when you’re symptomatic, you don’t then have to go and assemble these structures for yourself.
Dia Dynasty:
You nailed it, so thank you.
Danielle Blunt:
Well, I love this idea. It’s something that I’ve always, always wanted as well is to have this space. I think, my vision is slightly different, so I’m so excited to see yours coming into fruition. I’ve actually talked with my mom about it too, who said that she wanted to work on a communal farm when she was younger, and very similar to what you’re talking about. Maybe my mom and your mom can meet and be friends.
Dia Dynasty:
I hope so. I hope that all kinds of moms come. I think that the aspect of working on the farm, and then also one thing that you’ve brought up quite a bit is ritual. We have rituals in our culture, but a lot of them are commercialized, and a lot of them are also public. There’s the whole wedding ceremony ritual and the whole baby shower ritual and things like that.
Danielle Blunt:
They’re ugh.
Dia Dynasty:
But then if you’re a person who’s giving birth, but it’s also worth celebrating personal rituals and personal achievements and personal transitions. One thing that we do ritualize, which I don’t think that we go in depth enough with, is death. I think that you’ve talked about this to some degree in your yearning to do full spectrum doula.
Danielle Blunt:
To die.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes. Needs to die.
Danielle Blunt:
I can’t wait to die. No. I think, and maybe this is a perfect way to tie this conversation up is to talk about death, because I think that one thing that BDSM does is give… It’s like la petite mort, the little death is a way to refer to an orgasm, but I think even more so this altered state that you can get to through intense BDSM play is a way to encounter and honor death, the death of something. Many people who I’ve played with have talked about that subspace or a top space that I go to as a transcendent, that gooey state of…
It’s not not existing, but not existing in the reality around you. Everything goes dark around you, and it’s just the two of you in this intimate attunement connection that can create the death of something which creates space for the birth of something else.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes. Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
I totally fetishize the idea of being a full service, full spectrum death doula.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes. I think that’s so important. This idea of death isn’t confined to just when our physical bodies pass from the material plane, or we expire. It’s so many things, just like you’d mentioned. In some schools of thought, it can represent a transition out of a certain state of being, and into a more formless state of being, which I think some people will use ego death as the term for that.
Danielle Blunt:
I heard you talking about that too in your relationship to your previous iterations of Domina Dia Dynasty. I think that way to some extent with my public performance of Mistress Blunt and embodiment of. There have been many little deaths when this no longer serves me. I think in my personal life as well, it’s creating the space to honor the things that need to die, because I feel like so often… Well, it’s so often when we mourn the dead. We mourn them as if they aren’t flawed. I think part of celebrating life is celebrating or honoring the flaws as well, and being realistic about that, but I think…
I’m thinking right now of coping mechanisms, and I think coping mechanisms that no longer serve us are a really interesting point in which we can honor the dead and what no longer serves us. That coping mechanism was there for a reason. It probably helped you through something, and you clearly learned that tool for a reason. Some of the deaths that I’ve mourned in ritual ways are the coping mechanisms that no longer serve me or that have caused me, or that I’ve used as ways, or that have gotten me into conflict, or have caused me to hurt someone.
Not that I don’t have agency in that, but the things that I learned caused me to hurt. I have learned more tools where I have more things in my tool belt, and that’s not something that I have to rely on. I can let go of it, and honor it, even though it’s not this great part of me that I’m super proud of, but that served the purpose. Goodbye.
Dia Dynasty:
Letting that version of yourself die, and maybe having a little ceremony for it. I think that these little private rituals are extremely important. Built into the pagan wheel are times of the year for these things, and then built into the lunar cycle are also times of the month for these things. So, being a wild person means remembering that this is a process and a part of you that you can engage with through ritual or otherwise as a way of growth, and, again, nature, which is what we are. We just want to grow. You have a plant, and some of it gets cut off, and you put it in water, and it just keeps growing. That’s what we are. I think that it’s really important.
I’m sorry. Go ahead.
Danielle Blunt:
I was going to say in nature too, there’s a purpose of death. I’m thinking about rotating crops to keep the integrity of the soil so that things can grow is reliant on death as some part.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
Remembering we are nature, and we’re not… Capitalism wants us to feel as though we’re not moved by the natural world around us, and isolates us from our sexualities, from our kinky desires, and from our presence and being grounded in the world, and being creatures who are capable of being in touch with more primal desires.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes. Yes. Primal desires, that’s a good way to put it. I think also, the Femdom Farm is a place that is relatively anti-capitalist. Granted it took some money to buy, I’m not going to focus on, “You have to pay this much money to be there.” I want to, of course, take care of all the things that our financial responsibilities like paying the taxes and whatnot, but I’ll be realistic about the kind of economy is that I want it to be a natural economy. I want to go back to trading and care economy, trading, bartering.
Danielle Blunt:
An economy of reciprocity, which might not look totally balanced on a capitalist level.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
Depending on how you’re looking at it, I feel like economies of reciprocity don’t necessarily look balanced, especially because everyone’s enter… I’m thinking of this from a chronic illness’ lens. Everyone’s ability to, a, engage with capitalism and access to capital is different.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
What people have to offer is so different. I think something from indigenous learning that I’ve taken in chronic disability studies is this space for sickness and of being one as a need for rest. This is mostly speaking to my own experience with chronic illness, which has largely just been a message for me to rest, and that I need more rest than a lot of people, or I’m just more tapped into the body’s desire and need for rest. I think when I’ve thought about creating spaces like this, it’s very much like, “Offer what you’re able to.”
Dia Dynasty:
Don’t push yourself to align with some capitalist structure or schedule where you have to immediately answer something, or immediately tend to something, or put out fires or whatever that means. Just don’t have any fires. Anyway, I’m sorry that’s ableist for me to say, but it’s like… I think that you’re talking-
Danielle Blunt:
Well, it’s like maybe don’t respond to it as if everything was a fire.
Dia Dynasty:
Exactly.
Danielle Blunt:
How I heard it is… It’s something… I saw someone’s email signature was as a way to depart from the capitalist structure of immediate response. I’ll be taking two weeks to respond to all messages at least. I was like, “Fuck yeah, thank you. Can I copy this?”
Dia Dynasty:
I saw that.
Danielle Blunt:
I just saw that. Feel free to copy this email signature.
Dia Dynasty:
I love that one, and I was like, “That’s really smart,” because you’re managing expectations that have been set by capitalism in these systems.
Danielle Blunt:
You’re offering someone a chance to do the same, which I really liked about that. Well, I’m super excited for the Femdom Farm, and to come visit, because I feel like we’re very close in our upstate abodes.
Dia Dynasty:
Yes.
Danielle Blunt:
Is there anything else you wanted to say, or where can people find you?
Dia Dynasty:
Well, I’m at maybe 50% capacity with my work right now. So, I’m definitely being really, really careful with who I see and who deserves my time. You can find me on Twitter @DominaDynasty. If you really want to reach out to me, you can fill out a submission form at dominadynasty.com. Those are the two channels of communication that I most frequent. Everything else is… The platforming of sex workers is really shitty, and I’m definitely less engaged with other forms of social media. I’m also on Sext Panther as Dominic Dynasty. My Only Fans, of course, I’m going to start growing as a space of, let’s say, matriarchal reconditioning.
Danielle Blunt:
I love that. I’ve been noticing some of your posts, and really enjoying them.
Dia Dynasty:
Thank you. I’m reforming or reformatting that a little bit too, and coming from a more spiritual aspect as well, a more spiritual approach. That’s going to be something that I’m also growing is the idea of devotion, worship, offerings, and bringing that spiritual slant into Femdom.
Danielle Blunt:
I love it. I love it so much. I’m @MistressBlunt on Instagram and Twitter and onlyfans.com/mistressblunt. Mistressblunt.com, there’s a ton of information on that website. I’m also not taking on new clients besides for extended training sessions at the moment. I feel you with proving that you’re worthy of my time is an important way to make a first impression.
Dia Dynasty:
That’s right. The temple hours are 12:00 to 12:30.
Danielle Blunt:
If you’re offering us, we’ll answer you if we deem you worthy.
Dia Dynasty:
Exactly.
Danielle Blunt:
Well, it was so good to chat with you. Thank you so much.
Dia Dynasty:
Thank you so much. It was really awesome. I so enjoyed this.
Danielle Blunt:
Me too.
Want a more intimate look into my personal relationships? Follow me on my OnlyFans.
Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter and for those who feel inspired by the above interview, reach out.