What is a chastity kink in the world of BDSM?
Perhaps you’ve felt the rush of a cold metal chastity cage locking around your cock. Restricting your access to touch your genitals at your will. Restricting your ability to masturbate. Seen the glimmer of a chastity dangling from your keyholder’s chain. But for many, chastity kink is more than just a fetish.
Chastity Kink can constitute a broad spectrum of activities that relate to a Domme controlling the genitalia, orgasms, or sex life of her submissive. A chastity kink can range from foreplay, to increasing sexual tension with a chastity cage, to a lifestyle kink where a submissive might be locked for days, weeks, or years at a time and denied release. Chastity, whether through mental control or physical devices like a chastity cage, restricts a submissive’s ability to orgasm, masturbate, edge, or goon without permission. A dominatrix may use a chastity belt for people with vaginas or chastity cages to lock up a dick.
She may also only use her psychic domination of the submissive to ensure chastity without the physical restraint of a device. This is called mental chastity. Chastity increases the Domme’s power over the sub and can be an element of tease and denial (T&D). It can also be used as a tool in total power exchange (TPE), fully surrendering one’s ability to orgasm to one’s Domme. Chastity is also often part of an orgasm control protocol orchestrated by the Domme. When a chastity kink moves beyond foreplay, a chastity cage can demarcate ownership, submission, and control.
Why are people into chastity kinks?
People are into chastity for a variety of reasons. Some enjoy the physical restraint of a chastity device, and others enjoy the constant reminder that their orgasm does not belong to them. When a Dominatrix puts a submissive into chastity it can be a physical manifestation of power and control in the relationship. A chastity cage, much like a collar, can be a constant reminder of one’s role as a submissive. It can transform the experience of submitting to one’s Domme to a 24X7 reality.
The sub has exchanged their autonomy and ability to masturbate at will for the pleasure of their keyholder. This exchange reinforces the submissive’s subservience to the Domme. This loss of agency is a turn on for many people. This is why I enjoy using physical and mental chastity as part of orgasm control. Chastity can also be an important part of submissive training. My subs are aware of my power and total control over them at all times. The lack of permission to orgasm makes my submissives malleable to deeper and deeper levels of my control and training. For me, chastity is just one tool in my arsenal of domination.
I also love the aesthetics of chastity, and the power of having a symbolic lock to remind you of my control. But mental chastity is the real turn on for me. Knowing that you won’t touch yourself without permission, even if you are able to makes me wet.
How is mental chastity different from a chastity device?
Mental chastity reflects the psychological power the Dominant has over the submissive. With mental chastity there might not be a physical chastity device. Instead, the submissive learns to comply with their Domme’s desires. Mental chastity is an intense and extreme form of orgasm control. I utilize mental chastity as part of my submissive training regimen. My submissives are not allowed to touch themselves without permission, whether or not there is a physical device blocks access. For me, mental chastity makes me feel more powerful than using a device. Knowing that my submissive CAN touch but choose not to for my pleasure is an incredibly erotic form of power exchange. In this case, the power of the Domme replaces the presence of a cage. I enjoy controlling my subs this way.
Psychological play is foundational to my style of play. When you hear my voice seductively telling you what you can and cannot do, often while stroking (or not stroking) to my commands, you fall deeper into my control. Mental chastity is an element of this control. The psychological control of mental chastity also reinforces the psychic bond I develop with my submissives. As part of my orgasm control regimen mental chastity keeps my subs pliant and eager to please.
What happens in chastity if a sub cheats or has an orgasm without permission?
Are you asking for a friend? 🙂 The ramifications of failure depend on the Dominatrix. Of course, genuine mistakes happen! I do instruct my submissives if they ever go too far, they must ruin their orgasm and report it to me. Hands off. There will be no pleasure unless I approve it. I personally do not enjoy brats. If someone repeats “mistakes” they may lose some access to me or I may decide that I do not want to engage in orgasm control with you. I also expect a gift to reflect the subs’ sincere regret. The purpose of chastity is to make my control tangible over my submissive, so mistakes must be reported and rectified.
Do people really wear chastity cages outside of a session?
Absolutely. A purpose of a chastity device is to restrict access to pleasure, even when the Domme is not present. The device is an extension of the power the Domme holds over the sub. Placing a cage on a cock ensures that arousal cannot be brought to completion and renders arousal uncomfortable or painful. The man can still urinate as needed. When engaging in long term chastity, proper hygiene is important. The Domme is the keyholder of the device, and can unlock her submissive in a session should she so choose! Many lifestyle Dommes will keep their submissives locked in chastity as a form of extended play.
What is a Keyholder in a Chastity Kink?
The Keyholder possesses the key that can unlock a chastity device. The chastity Keyholder has the power and control to access the submissive’s genitalia. The Keyholder may wear the key on a chain around her neck. Personally, I don’t wear keys around my neck, because they are ugly and I have better taste than that. When I lock or collar a submissive, I expect a piece of beautiful jewelry that I wear to symbolize my ownership of them. The key can go in a sock drawer, or somewhere it surely won’t get lost. If I am playing with someone in person or virtually, I might dangle the key in front of them, threaten to throw it out, or tease that I must have lost it. The key is valuable for both practical and symbolic reasons.
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