Mommy Dommes Mistress Blunt and Cat Gold talk about our backgrounds in filmmaking and art, creating the pornography we want to see, marketing and branding as SWers, the role of shame in play, balancing pleasure and work, and our relationship to our body hair and being worshipped from head to toe.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Hello everyone, and welcome to Can I Be Blunt where I chat with sex workers and members of the BDSM community about femdom, D/S relationships, online sex work, and more. I am Mistress Danielle Blunt and I’m a sex worker, a dominatrix specializing in mommy play and psychological domination.
I’m also a public health researcher, photographer, hard leather femme, and all around pervert who loves boots. Today, I’m joined by Cat Gold and I would love if you could introduce yourself, Cat.
Cat Gold:
I am a hairy hooker, I am a mommy dom, I’m a photographer, a pornographer, a leather dyke… I wear many hats. I’m based in Philly, but I often travel to New York, Chicago, Boston, SF, those are my main places that you can find me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing. I feel like I always love chatting with you because I find out that we have more and more similarities. I was peeking at your gorgeous website last night and realizing we’re both hairy Jewish femmes with hard mommy vibes, hard leather mommy vibes, backgrounds in filmmaking and photography, and I was like oh, you’re also a Leo, which I’m also a Leo. I was just like ooh, the power we have.
I’m super excited to chat with you today about everything from leather to art, queerness, to what you’re talking about, being a hairy hooker, love a full bush and have one as well. I think that your content is so gorgeous and your filmmaking background feels so present in all that you share, and I love when that’s able to translate in what people are putting out there.
There was this one line on your website that I really liked that was talking about how you’ve made pleasure your life’s pursuit, and both having alliteration and just being a lovely sentiment. I’m curious as a fellow hedonist, how you’ve devoted your life to pursuing pleasure and what you’ve learned from it, what you’ve gleaned from it, how you apply it to your work and to your art making practice and your life.
Cat Gold:
I think for me, when thinking about hedonism, a huge thing is intensity, having a level of intensity. That goes for both my personal life and my work. It seems like it would just be a natural part of what comes up in sessions with me because I’m really drawn to seeing people access different parts of themselves through a scene.
Whether that be an intense BDSM scene or a more vanilla session that has just more emotional elements involved, I love witnessing people in that really transformative space. That brings a deeper connection and level of intimacy and intensity to the experience that I really enjoy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love how you talk about intensity and I think it is a certain level of hedonism when you’re like… Pleasure and as intense as we can go. Something that I think a lot about in my play is plumbing the depths of can we go deeper? What is holding us back from going deeper on a societal level, between us in an interpersonal way, and our previous histories. I also really love that space of being able to hold that space for people and allowing them to surrender.
I also think it’s something that, as mommy doms… From what I’m hearing you talk about, it’s this very natural state for you to hold space for someone to navigate these intensities. I think for mommy doms, I wonder too if it’s a little bit more natural to be able to hold space like that and explore and allow that vulnerability to unfold and create space for transformation or just a really fucking good time. Not everything needs to be transformative.
One thing that I’m interested in, and I feel like we have a lot in common in our work histories and interests and I know that for me, I started in this old guard leather house training to be a dominatrix, a dominatrix who’s never penetrated, blah, blah, blah, hard leather, impenetrable, and that you don’t touch me, whatever. Very old guard style of leather training.
When I moved into sex work, I was more strictly professional domination, and in my personal life, I was using all of my boyfriends as human dildos and doing all of these different things and I’m like why is this archetype of a dom limiting what I am allowing myself to explore in my work? I feel like from hearing a little bit about your work history, it went from… Maybe you can talk a little bit about it too. I would love to hear a little bit about that transition because from my understanding, it’s a little opposite and I’m curious about that.
Cat Gold:
It totally is. I did not brand as mommy dom when I first entered… When I first started escorting in the way that I do now, I was definitely more GFE, still alternative, hairy and tattooed, but strictly… I wasn’t branding as dominant. I think that the switch happened for me… There’s no real moment, but it definitely just aligned with my interests as they started evolving and as I started gaining more experience.
I think that was the biggest thing for me is that if I was going to brand as a dominant, I wanted to feel really confident in my skills and in my experience and training. That happened over time. The longer I was in the industry and the longer I had more of an interest, I started branding as more centrally dominant, which is really how it is now in this mommy dom way. It feels just really aligned with both my interests and what I’m best at.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That makes so much sense to me. I think for me too, it was a matter of figuring out… Also for me, unpacking some of the whorephobia that was ingrained in me in my classic dom training as well as thinking about my own dominance and what I want and what I like about sex and also where my skillsets are in this realm of sensual domination.
The mommy dom is such a powerful archetype. I would be so curious to hear you talk about your style of mommy dom, how you found mommy doming to feel like something being really resonant for you, and how you would describe your style of mommy or style of domination.
Cat Gold:
My style is definitely very playful, nurturing, loving and very instruction oriented. I love to guide and teach, I love to corrupt. I love people, I love virgins, I love people who come to me with I don’t know what I’m doing and I really need you to teach me everything about life, about sex, about…
That’s really exciting to me because I love having that kind of power, but I’m not the super mean, super firm. I’m like much more… What’s the word? I like using the word cougar along with mommy dom for myself in particular because it’s much more predatory and creepy and less I am going to come home and punish you. That’s not my style. It’s much more like I’m going to use you for my pleasure. I’m going to teach you everything you ever needed to know about pleasure, about your body.
The other part of your question, how did I come to like this? That was the question? I was playing with mommies and daddies, but mommies in particular as a little for a bit of time and have just always been attracted to hot older women. Who isn’t? I guess there are people who are not, but I just think hot older femmes are everything.
Especially I think it has aligned with often those people were also other sex workers, they were often really confident and I was always drawn to people who were really comfortable in their sexuality, who were older, who were wiser. A lot of the people that I was playing with as mommies were other sex workers who I admired. I think that naturally lent itself to be like one day when you grow up, you too will become a mommy. It’s like I was groomed in the best way possible.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I can’t imagine a better way of being groomed, to be perfectly honest. I was initiated into mommy by hot older sex worker friends. What more could you ask for in this life?
Cat Gold:
Totally. It makes sense because it’s like yeah, that’s my style as well. Someone being like come here, come under my wing. I’m going to teach you, I’m going to use you, and you then will become me. It’s kind of this…
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love that. It’s such an excellent style of parenting too, to be so instructive. I love hearing you describe yourself as a cougar because that is what comes across very, very strongly, and I feel like it’s… From what I pick up from your branding and the content that you put out there is very much like I’m on the hunt, you’re my prey, but you’re going to come out of this with a skillset that will leave you so much better off. Destroyed in some way, but for the best.
Cat Gold:
Yeah, it’s like you will leave feeling totally shattered and anew. We’re going to be reborn.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Rebirthed. Reborn.
Cat Gold:
Yeah, and that is the mommy thing is that it’s going to sink in a lot deeper than I guess a normal session might.
I’m curious your take around that in terms of why, if you feel this way, mommy dom sessions hit very differently, how they then also create this lasting impact that forms a bond and is ongoing.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think there’s so much about mommy play that I find so fascinating. I think I also have maybe a more passive seduction style than a cougar, I would say. Maybe more like a spider spinning a web and when they come to me, they come and it can be very gentle. I’m also not a particularly mean mommy, I don’t think, because I don’t reward negative behavior in my style of parenting. I’ve learned this from dog training not to reward negative behavior.
I think that for me, it’s also very instructive and wanting you to do your best and encouraging growth while also I think there’s a darker side to some of the mommy stuff that I do. I really, really love intense taboo mommy play, and I always say no one can fuck you up like your mother. I think that the reason that daddy play is so popular is because mommy play can be so much more intense.
Of course, I think it depends on everyone’s perspectives and experiences, but this is what I found is that things tend to come up in mommy play that people who have been playing with daddies, it just never came up because I think just how we’re conditioned and our attunement in western society to be towards a largely singular maternal figure, whether that person was there or not for you, the way that attachment comes into play and those dynamics can be so intense.
I think it honestly took me a while of doing mommy play to really understand that I feel like I would have some patterns coming up with some attachment issues where I’m just like whoa, I’m not a therapist. I don’t know how to navigate this. Actually part of what started this series is I started interviewing therapist friends of mine about attachment and attunement and transference because I really felt like I was missing some of… Well, I don’t think sex workers are therapists. I think some of the tools that therapists have to navigate boundaries within client relationships can be really helpful.
I was interviewing friends of mine and hosting educational classes for sex workers and learning more about transference and attunement, and my background’s also in psychology. I find it can be so potent, but also bring up so much. I think for me, I’ve definitely learned to choose better who to go as far with and when is something that I’ve definitely learned over the 15 years of doing this work and more probably 10 years of doing mommy play.
I think that depth and that intensity that you were talking about in the beginning with your hedonism is something that I’m so interested in in the mommy space. There’s something about… I think the structure of a session is set up for the potentiality of a really beautiful attunement space of no one’s phones are on on, I am monotasking you, you are monotasking on me. All of your attention is on mommy. All you have to do is what mommy says. You just have to listen to every word that I say and you don’t have to think about anything else.
I think that type of monotasking is really, really profound, and that type of attention that you can give and receive that is unlike anything else that I’ve experienced.
Cat Gold:
I totally agree. I feel like that also applies to just the beauty of a container, of a session in general for any type of experience, but especially for mommy play, I feel like it’s even more heightened because people have a lot of stuff that they’re coming with. That may not always be the case, but it can be the case and it can allow you to really go places when there’s that type of supportive environment and container for it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’ve seen so much transformation in the people that I’ve seen, and you had mentioned the ability to develop these longer term relationships, and I think there’s opportunities for re-patterning experiences. I had an experience with a client where I read her a book and she didn’t have that experience in her childhood. I think it was just a really moving experience for both of us to be able to share that together. I’m curious, thinking about transformation and mommy doms, what your experience has been guiding people on mommy dom journeys and what you’ve seen?
Cat Gold:
I just also want to say that I think majority of my mommy dom sessions are people coming to me being like really focused on the taboo of it and are coming with a lot of shame and are like is it okay to call you mommy? I have this desire and I don’t really know about it. There’s that, and then there’s just people want this intense role play that doesn’t have much of the we’re really moving through these emotional pieces.
The ones that are really emotionally focused are few and far between for me, but they are profound when they are there. I feel like people, it’s mostly I find that people want the experience of being held and specifically sucking on my tits. Those two-
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Life’s two true purposes.
Cat Gold:
Those really hit home for people a lot of the time, especially when they’re done in a way that’s maybe not focused so sexually, it’s like this is an aftercare thing that’s just comforting for you. It really takes people to back in time because it is so soothing to be sucking on titties. It’s this very soothing thing. I feel like I got sidetracked a bit.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I got sidetracked a bit too. You just talk about sucking on titties and I’m gone. It’s so interesting too because I feel like I rarely get the people who are like I have always wanted to call a woman mommy and feel really shameful about it. I get a lot of people who call me mistress and then three months later are like can I call you mommy?
I’m sure it also has a lot to do with branding and some of my older guard, hard dom background and me just pulling them into my mommy web. But I love talking to other mommy doms, especially other mommy dom workers, because I feel like the experiences are just so radically different. There’s so many things that we can relate to about what comes up in our work, but I’m always interested in how people’s branding brings in different types of littles or submissives and what their interests are and what people are being approached about.
Cat Gold:
I am very blessed that I have a lot of people come to me who are queer and other providers themselves. It’s been really special. Every time, I feel really honored about it. I feel like that is definitely in part because I brand really, I’m pretty shameless about my being very gay, attracted to a lot of different people.
I’m pretty shameless about my interests sexually, a lot of which happened to be also very gay. I love fisting. I’m honored every time I get an inquiry and I’m also like ah, yes, this is because I am promoting what I’m into and the people are listening. It’s been wonderful.
I feel like being chosen by a provider to offer an experience is delightful to me because we work so hard and we, a lot of times, are maybe not as connected to our own pleasure for a variety of reasons. I think a lot of the workers that I’ve seen have expressed that to a certain degree that they feel out of touch with…
They feel either sexually exhausted, out of touch with their own desires, or just aren’t getting what they need in their personal life because of their work. I feel like being able to see people and get to the heart of what they need and then offer that to them in the ways that I can is amazing.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think it’s so true, and I’m thinking how it’s true for many clients, having the space to pursue your own desire is such a radical and rare space that you can carve out in the world for yourself. Especially as someone who is providing these services, I think I know that when I’ve hired sex workers in the past, it’s been really cathartic to be like this is specifically what I want and I don’t have to navigate the complexities of pickup play that I’m not interested in navigating right now, or I don’t have to necessarily navigate the intimacy of ongoing relationship in order to…
I trust you, I know you’re good at what you do and the container. I think it comes back to that container being really, really helpful in finding that. I think the container that we’re able to provide for people is just such a powerful space, and I think it’s so rare in society to be able to carve out that space for yourself. I know I talk to people, a lot of people tell me that they look at my website for months and then fill out my contact form.
I think that process of sitting down and writing out what your desires are can be really, really overwhelming, but it can also be such a cathartic effort of actually getting it down, sharing it with someone else, taking the steps to turn it into a reality. You truly are very blessed, and I totally get why you get all of those inquiries. I think both branding the mommy dom thing and just… Yeah, it’s magic.
Cat Gold:
Thank you.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Also, I’m curious, I feel like you introduce yourself as a hairy hooker, so I feel like maybe we should end with being hairy hookers. I would love to hear a little bit about your relationship to your body hair as well as your lover’s relationship to your body hair and how you use that in scenes.
I know as a fairly hairy person myself, I love bush worship and scent play, and armpit play, but I’m curious how you integrate that into… What you see in people approaching you who are like, ooh, yes, hairy, and how you play with that in your style of dominance
Cat Gold:
Almost everybody who sees me minus maybe a handful of people who are maybe indifferent about it, everybody else who’s in the majority who sees me comes to me because I am a hairy in addition to all the other things that I bring, but a lot of them are hairy fetishists, which is wonderful because I love being hairy and just for so many reasons, but I’m attracted to body hair, I think it’s super sexy. It’s also just low maintenance.
It would be hell for me personally, to be shaving all the time. I enjoy playing with my own body hair and I love having my body hair worshiped. It’s just another form of reverence for me. It’s like yeah, you love every part of me, and it’s like why wouldn’t… Especially my leg hair too. The parts of me that maybe aren’t… Everybody loves a bush. Not everybody, but a lot of people love a bush, but leg hair, I think it’s like people… You got to really be down with the body hair to worship leg hair. I think it’s special that all of my clients are really very into it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s really cool. I love what you say about worshiping. Every part of you feels like a very mommy dom relationship to body hair too. It’s like of course. Why wouldn’t you worship every inch head to toe, hair to hair? I’m curious- Oh, go ahead.
Cat Gold:
I was just going to say that this comes up a lot too when… I don’t know. I’ll have clients who are like, oh yeah, I’m into body hair. I’m into all these things, but not feet or not something else. They’ll have one or two things that they’re like ah, but not that thing. I’m kind of like why wouldn’t you? The human body is beautiful, especially mine. You-
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
… White hetero spaces, I feel like no body hair is the beauty standard. I’m curious when people are approaching you for being such a hairy babe and fetishizing that, do you see shame coming up? What is it that people are working through? What do you see people working through when they’re like I love your bush, but could you just maybe shave your legs? I’m sure I’m just making Twitter comments right now.
Cat Gold:
I do feel very lucky that most of the people coming to me, we’re on the same page about… They’re like I don’t know why the trends have shifted, I’ve always loved a woman with body hair and they find that it’s hard to come by. They’re very appreciative because it’s not the norm.
Also sometimes with that too, they’re really putting down then women who shave. I’m like just let people… What’s the problem? It’s not… I like body hair, but just because you like a full bush doesn’t mean that a woman who decides to shave is like less than.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, I hate the comparison. I’m like to elevate me, you don’t need to bring anyone else down, even if it’s your preference. I find that very unsexy when people do that. I have huge turnoff.
Cat Gold:
I totally agree. I’m like yes, tell me how much you appreciate my body hair and let’s leave it at that. That’s wonderful. As far as people who are like I love your bush, but maybe not your legs, I did have a client once request that I wear knee socks because he didn’t like my leg hair, but loved the bush. I was like well, knee socks are super sexy first of all, but not in this case. On any other occasion…
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
You ruined it.
Cat Gold:
I would be thrilled to wear knee socks. I love a knee sock, but not because you can’t handle my leg hair. At the end of the session… I was like no, you either see me or you don’t. You see me, all of me as I am, or you have plenty of other people you can go to, and he ended up wanting to see me, and then he was like yeah, there’s nothing wrong with the leg hair after seeing me.
I’m like just relax. People have these things that they think that they don’t like or won’t like without even trying to experience them, and then once they do, it’s like there’s no… They’re rethinking that, which is cool to see.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I love both the rethinking of it of like I thought that this might be a turnoff for me, but actually it wasn’t, and the I thought this was going to be a turnoff for me, but actually this is all I can think about now. The implantation of fetish too, I feel like is so… Mommy doming is so rife for that because you’re imprinting and you like what mommy likes, you want to do what mommy does, you love everything about mommy from head to toe, and so mommy is your ideal woman. This is what you worship. I love that.
Cat Gold:
The case with the mommy dom thing in particular. It’s like you say you don’t like feet, but you are going to suck on my toes. Of course, unless it’s a really hard boundary, but if it’s something that they just are saying that they don’t like, it’s like… That same thing, I really like being like you’re going to learn to like it because I like it. That’s the whole point here.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think there’s something there too about the prioritization of pleasure and both. For me, I think it’s about finding clients and submissives where yes, I am providing a service, I’m holding a space for a very specific experience, but that is an experience of you encountering a dominant person whose desire and pleasures are at the forefront of the experience.
I think for me, that’s always when I feel the most powerful, and that’s always when the scenes go the best is when there is that ability to, it’s like I like to say I’m not interested in your pleasure. I’m interested in my own. Of course I’m interested in the things that would bring you pleasure so that I know what to do with them so that I can wield it as a form of power and control and to facilitate surrender, but I really, really vibe with people who are interested in that and that power exchange and hearing you talk about. It’s like you might not like feet, but mommy does. This is what you’re going to do is a very hot and powerful dynamic and very persuasive, I think.
Cat Gold:
Definitely. Also just getting more information. Why don’t you like feet? Why? A lot of times, people don’t have a good answer. It’s not strong enough argument for me. Not very persuasive.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’m curious if you have any mommy dom scene dreams that you would want to share or have been thinking about?
Cat Gold:
Oh. Hmm.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I can think of one too. We can do a little manifestation. Flick the mommy dom beans.
Cat Gold:
Yeah, I do love a whole a family vibe. I love the more the merrier. I’m really into mommy, daddy, co-topping. Really into mommy, mommy co-topping but yeah, I haven’t felt as creative recently that comes in waves for me in terms of when I feel really centered for scenes. I think at this moment in time, I’m in a bit of a lull in that way, but if you have any….
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
You actually inspired me. You inspired me in this chat with, I’m thinking now of a lesbian mommy sorority inducting a new into the mommy club and what that would look like, I feel like would be really, really fun, like a mommy hazing scene. I don’t know. Mommy school 201.
Cat Gold:
I love that mommy school idea, how to be a really good mommy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
So much lactation I’m seeing
Cat Gold:
That sounds amazing. I’m like when’s enrollment?
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, perfect. We’ll talk about our schedules after this, but it was so fun to chat with you. If you want to let folks know where they could find you or if there’s anything else you wanted to add, that’d be great.
Cat Gold:
Yeah, I am on Twitter and Instagram. My Twitter is catgold_, and my Instagram is catgoldxx. My website is meetcatgold.com. Like I said earlier, I’m based in Philly, but I come to New York once a month.I sometimes will tour other cities, but that’s mostly where I am.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing. I am at mistressblunt.com Blunt Links has all of my socials and yeah, it’s always so fun to chat with another mommy about different styles of mommy dom domination. So thank you so much for chatting with me.
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