I had the pleasure of interviewing my financial submissive this week. As a lot of you know, many of my most devoted submissives are not men, so leave it to a woman to blow the rest of my financial submissives out of the water when it comes to generosity, sustainability, and wit. Perhaps those of you interested in financial domination (findom) and total power exchange (TPE) in D/s relationships could learn a thing or two from her.
Mistress Blunt: Are you nervous?
X: Yes.
Mistress Blunt: Are you frequently nervous?
X: Yes.
Mistress Blunt: Excellent. Let’s begin. Why don’t you introduce yourself?
X: Hi, my name’s X. I’m a finsub.
Mistress Blunt: You’re Canada’s most eligible finsub.
X: Canada’s most eligible, yes. Potentially North America’s, TBD.
Mistress Blunt: Oh, yes. And we did just calculate your earning potential.
X: Yes. Conservatively.
Mistress Blunt: A conservative analysis.
X: Mm-hmm (affirmative). I have big ambitions. It was around 17% growth per year.
Mistress Blunt: 17.9% growth per year. While the average exceptional employee was 3.6%, 4.6%?
X: 4.6%. You really studied.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah, you send me a business document, I read it and analyze the data. Anyway… I’ll introduce myself. My name is Mistress Blunt, and I love taking your money. Do you want to introduce yourself properly, my little asset?
X: My name is X and I love giving you my money.
Mistress Blunt: Oh my God, we have so much in common.
X: So compatible.
Mistress Blunt: So compatible, truly. Okay, so I want to begin by asking you a little bit about your interest in financial domination and how it relates to total power exchange, and how you realized that this was something you wanted to explore.
X: I see financial domination as an extension of power exchange. There’s nothing super compelling about money in particular for me. I just think that money is the most widely agreed upon form of power… the most tangible form of power, and I like to give it away.
Mistress Blunt: It’s crazy that Canadian money has less power.
[Laughter]
X: So crazy.
Mistress Blunt: So sad for you. I’m sure I’m saying this right before a major economic collapse. I’ll live to eat those words. Okay, so I think that that’s really interesting because for you it’s less about the eroticization of a financial transaction and more so about the giving away of power, and money is one of those avenues.
X: There’s also the other side of it. The devotional aspect of D/s is very important to me. I’m interested in not only how I’m giving away my power through findom, but also how I’m then giving you more power. Not just within our relationship, but in the world.
Mistress Blunt: Hmm, tell me more about that. Because I think a lot of the service that you do for me would be considered financial service as well. There are other things that you do for me that increase my ability to make money on my own outside of you, which is something else that I think is really interesting. It’s something I haven’t necessarily experienced as explicitly with men, who often hold onto the financial exchange as a way to control rather than to relinquish control. So I would be interested if you would talk a little bit about that. Content creating… website development… why don’t you talk about that?
X: Oh, well, I mostly see that as just my most valuable skills and abilities. Definitely not going to be helping you fix things. I feel like a lot of my skills just happen to be related to capitalism and monetization.
Mistress Blunt: You are good at making me my money.
X: Yeah, I am good at making you your money. So I don’t usually think about that in a findom way. I usually think of that just as, “This is my most valuable service to improve her life.” Especially at times when I’m not physically in New York.
Mistress Blunt: Right. But also it is in some ways, a way of making me more money.
X: Yeah, for sure.
Mistress Blunt: Which you like.
X: Of course. I think that money gives you options. And I think that whoever has the most options usually has the most power. So that’s another layer on top of how money is power for me.
Mistress Blunt: And do you not want options or power?
X: In most areas of my life, yes. I very much do love power, but not in this area, specifically.
Mistress Blunt: So, can you talk a little bit about that relationship or about it not being part of everyday life or all dynamics? Don’t mind me getting naked and putting on my cashmere onesie that you bought.
X: It’s weird because I don’t really know what my natural relationship to power would be like if it weren’t skewed by my career. I learned very quickly that if you’re submissive, especially if you’re a submissive woman, you’re not going to get very far in business. So I’ve had to teach myself a lot of qualities that are more dominant-leaning in order to do well in my career.
Mistress Blunt: And you started working pretty young, too.
X: So I especially value relationships in my life, whether they’re explicitly D/s or not, where I don’t have to be the more dominant or in control person. I find that I usually end up in that role in a lot of my relationships, both at work and outside of it.
Mistress Blunt: Oh, yeah. That makes sense. That’s why you’re good at making money. Although I was helping you practice negotiating for a raise.
X: Yeah, well I did that for the first time last year and it was terrifying. I went to coaching to teach myself how to do it.
Mistress Blunt: Are you good at it now?
X: Not particularly, but I did do it at least one time.
Mistress Blunt: Are you going to be better at it for me?
X: Yes Mistress.
Mistress Blunt: That’s exciting. So tell me a little bit about your relationship with money, because you’ve told me before that financial domination wasn’t always a part of your kink.
X: Yeah, I grew up without a lot of money. So I have always been aware of the ways that money is beneficial, and how it is a form of power and control. It was just always in the back of my mind that that’s the way the world works, for better or worse. When I started making more money, I started thinking about ways that I could expand D/s relationships and power exchange. Then I was like, “Oh, well, what about money? That could be fun.”
Mistress Blunt: Hot. And what does it feel like when you send me $5K?
X: Very hot.
Mistress Blunt: What does it feel like when your bank says that it’s fraud and then the transaction is canceled, and then you’re not allowed to cum?
X: Very, very hot. It’s just layering on different types of hot.
Mistress Blunt: Orgasm denied by your bank.
X: Mm-hmm (affirmative), yeah. It’s exciting for me because while I like the findom aspects of it… I think a lot of things that I’m interested in, like masochism… For example, I like pain, but I also like knowing that I was able to take the pain. That I could have taken it for longer. Or that I could have done more. I like progressively getting better at it… the challenge and self-improvement is important to me. I feel similarly with findom. Sending you larger amounts is a confirmation of, “Oh, look how much money I made. Look how good I am at making money. This is an accomplishment for me.”
Mistress Blunt: It’s being a good asset.
X: Yeah.
Mistress Blunt: You want to be a good asset for me? A good investment. You are beet red.
X: I hate talking about myself.
Mistress Blunt: Do you want to ask me any questions, X? We’ve just been spending all of this time talking about you. It’s so rude of you not to even think to ask me a question.
[Laughter]
X: Oh my gosh. What do you like about financial domination?
[Laughter]
Mistress Blunt: Money has also always been really interesting to me. I grew up in a family with some money, but first-generation money who was super anxious about spending it. So there were no luxury or enjoyment purchases in my family growing up. I had to learn how to luxuriate, which I’ve gotten very good at. I think I would say it’s higher than a 17.9% increase every year. So you better keep getting better. Keep up. Yeah, I was told, “You don’t spend money on this. You don’t spend money on that.”
And just made to feel like financial security was not a thing. So for me, financial domination is about being given that stability. It a) is hot and b) clears up mental space for me to make more space for erotics. If I’m not thinking about how I’m going to pay my rent, I’m much more likely to focus on erotic and sexual things of my own pleasure or indulge in my own hedonism. And I think it’s a matter of moving into an abundance mindset. And so we can spoil Frankie.
X: Which is the most important part.
Mistress Blunt: It is, truly. All right, so you’re my first woman finsub.
X: The best, you might say.
Mistress Blunt: Yes, very small sample size, so don’t toot your own horn so hard. I’ve also never done lesbian financial domination before.
[Pause]
Mistress Blunt: Your hair looks fine, I did it, it’s fine. Stop touching it before I shave it off. I’m going to put a bounty on your hair, and you’re going to pay it. To keep it.
[Laughter]
Mistress Blunt: So, in my early and mid twenties, I fused yoga with my BDSM practice. From there, there wasn’t a lot of space for my dominant persona to market as a financial dominatrix because a lot of what you see with financial domination is the homewrecker, the life ruiner, the hotter than your wife… Also just karmically, not something that I’m interested in. I mean, people are entitled to making their own choices, but I’m not going to push people to do that. But that was a lot of what I saw, so I took the route of framing it as a devotional act, right?
You go to a church, you tithe, you lay money at the feet of the goddess. There are many different spiritual paths of surrender through financial control. Many of which are also abused. So a lot of the experiences I had with financial domination were less about sustainable relationships and more about men who eroticized the act of sending until they couldn’t send anymore. Then they get scared and they run away like a little bitch.
So I’ve enjoyed this. I’ve had other somewhat sustainable financial domination arrangements, but there was still much more of the eroticization of sending rather than the explicit connection between total power exchange.
X: That makes sense. I think a big reason why I didn’t really consider findom earlier was… well, not having as much money. But I could have sent smaller amounts. It was really because when I saw it on the Internet, it was a lot of that ruin my life narrative you mentioned. Very cold, cruel, detached, domination styles. That was unappealing to me. Not that I don’t enjoy when you’re cruel to me. I just don’t see myself in the people who are very public about their financial submission online.
Mistress Blunt: Why did you connect with me about that?
X: Why did I reach out to you? I reached out to you because it was a pandemic, and I was trying to be aware of people working outside formal labor, especially. I felt like I was mooching on a lot of people’s free content all over the Internet, you know? And I thought, “Oh, maybe this is a good time to stop being such a mooch.” I paid an astrologer, you, a fitness person… I don’t know, a few different people.
Mistress Blunt: But then it evolved. I remember our first conversation ending with me asking if you were raised Catholic. The first conversation, you did not mention your interest in financial domination at all. In a followup email, you said, “Oh, also, I would like to buy you this very expensive thing,” and I was like, “Oh, okay.” And I was like, “This will be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
And then we started talking about your interest in financial domination, and it was nearing the end of when I had to go, and I was like, “Oh, were you raised Catholic?” And I totally clocked you. Do you think that plays in at all? Is there a relationship? What relationship do guilt and shame play, if any?
X: I don’t know. I know that guilt and shame are very connected to Catholicism. I don’t have a strong relationship to shame and I’m not generally ashamed of myself or the things that I’m interested in, but I do think that I experience guilt quite often. That is more from being raised in a caretaker role, though.
Mistress Blunt: Early adultification?
X: Yes, exactly. So I feel guilt related to frivolous spending, or not doing the responsible thing, or not working or otherwise being productive.
Mistress Blunt: Hmm. When I asked it, I was trying to figure out if your relationship to findom was not deserving having money.
X: Hmm. I don’t think so. I mean… I’ve worked really hard. I think I deserve what I have.
Mistress Blunt: And you deserve to give it away.
X: Yeah, exactly.
Mistress Blunt: And so, what day is it?
X: The 20th.
Mistress Blunt: We are three days away from speaking to a lawyer about a legally binding financial domination contract. How does that make you feel, X?
X: Very excited. I don’t know why it’s so exciting. Contracts in general are very hot to me. I think because I’m very interested in the devotional aspects of D/s. Whether it were legally binding or not, it would be meaningful for me. Plus, I like that it’s written out.
Mistress Blunt: Hot. Maybe we can publish the contract for prime SEO. And you’re also excited to have an allowance. Your salary is going to go into my account and you’re going to get an allowance for the minimum amount of what you need to live… and then a small stipend to spoil me.
X: Which is important.
Mistress Blunt: I’d never take that away from you, because I am so generous.
X: Thank you. I’m excited because for me, it further enforces the control. Currently, I still have to send it to you, you know? I could technically just one day be like, “Sorry, no more for you.” I would much rather it be like, “I’m giving you money.” I’m being you. I’m being you giving me an allowance.
Mistress Blunt: Are you pretending to be me?
X: I’m trying to channel you, but it didn’t come out well at all. So…
Mistress Blunt: I did make you send me a voice memo pretending to be me, which was hilarious.
X: I think the voice memo was good, the pauses? I nailed it.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah, you did good. You can run my NiteFlirt line now. Make me more money. So you like that there’s an element of it being difficult to back up from? Is there a fear there?
X: When you were talking about how you’ve seen people try to retain some of the power through sending you money? I don’t like that. I like that if the money goes directly to you, that potential to retain some power doesn’t exist anymore.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah. There’s the saying, which I see in so many findom clips, which is hot, “It’s not your money, it’s already mine.” Which in this case, it legally will be. Hot.
X: Yeah, so it’s not so much about not being able to get out of it. Also, my impression of financial domination was that it would be hard to find someone I’m compatible with. You know? Based purely on the way that I see it play out on the Internet, usually. I was looking for a responsible, sustainable findom relationship. I also think it’s nice and wholesome. You have the money and you’re being nice to me by giving me enough money to live. Wait, that’s also very hot.
Mistress Blunt: I sustain your life.
X: Mm-hmm (affirmative), which is also super hot.
Mistress Blunt: Like a mother.
X: Ugh.
Mistress Blunt: Sorry, I’m slowly trying to implant a mommy fetish into this increasingly blushing submissive. It doesn’t need to work. It’s just fun for me to try.
X: It works sometimes.
Mistress Blunt: That one didn’t work.
X: No. No, that one didn’t work.
[Laughter]
Mistress Blunt: Tell me a little bit about your five year plan. You made me a deck.
X: I outlined why I think I’m a good investment based on my previous earnings and then projected my future earnings as well. I compared that to a benchmark in the industry… how much people usually make. I didn’t break it down by age, which I feel like I should have done to emphasize the real potential of your investment. If you compared average earning income to age and put that on a chart, I’d be doing really well. In retrospect… sorry, I’m just critiquing myself now.
Mistress Blunt: You could always be better, is what you’re saying.
X: I could always be better.
Then I put what you are going to get out of it and what I’m going to get out of it, and how to make it happen.
Mistress Blunt: What about the part of the five year plan where you buy me property and then pay me rent? You forgot that. That part’s hot.
X: That’s a very good part, yeah. It’s great because mortgages are good for your credit. Paying you rent is a very good financial decision for us because currently, a lot of my money goes towards rent. It’s a huge part of my fixed expenses. Really the only part. Then I can pretty much give the rest to you. So in this plan, it can practically all go to you through paying off an asset that you own.
Mistress Blunt: That’s so nice.
X: Yeah. So then it’s exciting because I get to give you more money.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah, and then I’ll build you that little pink shack from But I’m a Cheerleader.
X: Perfect.
Mistress Blunt: When you’re a good girl, you can do ollie’s off the roof.
[Laughter]
Mistress Blunt: So there’s something that differentiates my style of financial domination, something that was outside of the traditional homewrecker fantasy, blackmail fantasy, financial ruination? It became more about ceding control of your assets and letting someone else make decisions for you as a form of financial domination.
X: Exactly. That’s another appealing part. I love not having to think about it. If all my money is going to you, then I’m like, “Well, she’ll just decide the best way to spend it and I’m good to go.” I don’t need to think about it. I just get my allowance and move on. I think the trust is also very nice.
Mistress Blunt: So smart. You’re going to be so turned on when you get your allowance and your credit card bills.
X: Also so hot and very excited.
Mistress Blunt: For you to get a credit card in my name. Hot.
X: Yeah, in a joint bank account so that my paychecks can go in there.
Mistress Blunt: And then I’ll change a password, so you can’t access it.
X: Perfect plan.
Mistress Blunt: You’re also excited for me to use my money… that I take from your paycheck… that goes into my account… to go on dates with other people. So there’s also an element of cuckolding and cuckolding fantasies that play into this financial domination arrangement, which I think… And you’re into forced bi! You’re the perfect package. And you’re a woman. Ideal.
X: Thank you so much.
Mistress Blunt: But I feel like I don’t see a lot of that in queer or gay discourse. Do you, when you’re looking for it?
X: No, but cuckolding is new for me. While I’m interested in it sexually, I’m into it in other ways, too. If someone is doing something that I want to be doing, it counts. Like cleaning your house, for example.
Mistress Blunt: What role does watching play in cuckolding for you?
X: I could take it or leave it. I just would like to know that it’s happening or has happened. I don’t really care if I actually see it happen or not. For me, it’s just the knowledge that it happened and that I was included. I think it’s hot to be inclusively excluded. You know what I mean? They’re acknowledging that they’re doing it and involving you by telling you that you aren’t involved. Does that make sense?
Mistress Blunt: Yeah. It’s hot to be locked up and left, but only if someone’s actually coming back for you.
X: Right, yeah, exactly.
Mistress Blunt: Cool. Well, let’s go ahead and wrap up this interview because I have another task for you.