Mistress Blunt and Mistress Trinity discuss Femdom in the context of world events and daily life. They explore how kink is tied inextricably to the exercise of power on the global stage, how BDSM can be healing in ways talk therapy misses, and the relationships between power and control, between psychological play and physical play, between the use of touch versus dirty talk to get in a submissive’s head, and between intimacy and privacy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Hello everybody. My name is Mistress Danielle Blunt. I am a New York City based dominatrix with over 15 years of experience, both working in person and online. And I am thrilled to be here today with Mistress Trinity for another episode of my maybe podcast. ‘Can I Be Blunt?’ Trinity, I would love if you could introduce yourself.
Mistress Trinity
Yes. Hi, my name’s Trinity. I am a professional dominatrix and content producer in New York City of eight years now.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I like to start with this question. Could you tell a little bit about how you got into this career? I feel like the bulk of our conversation, with both of our backgrounds. Will be photography and domination. So I’m super curious how you found yourself doing this and sticking with it.
Mistress Trinity
Yeah, well it kind of, it’s interesting ’cause I do think it all kind of ties together. ’cause my first real exposure to sort of the idea of professional domination was through seeing Nick Broomfield’s documentary ‘Fetishes’. I think I saw it when I was about 16 years old, which is probably way too young to be seeing it. But that was so fascinating to me and it just like really always stuck with me. And then eventually when I, later in life, moved to New York, I actually did end up starting at Pandora’s Box in its current kind of era. In the time in between, I had kind of dabbled with doing some fetish type work off of Craigslist like that. Like many of us kind of started that way. And then when I got to New York, I was here to attend film school and like many college students, I needed a job that was not traditional hours where I could make a little bit of money. And I just kind of started looking on Craigslist back then. It was in 2014, I think, you know, Craigslist really was the place where I feel like a lot of sex workers early in their career would kind of figure out how to get into this world. And there was a listing for, well actually I didn’t start first at Pandora’s. I started somewhere else, which was a bad situation. I was only there for like two days and then I left. I don’t really count it honestly. So, and then when, I remember the second day I was leaving that place, it became very clear to me that it was a very predatory environment that I couldn’t stay in. And I remember as I was walking out, I called Pandora’s Box and asked for an interview. And it’s funny ’cause I think the universe had some divine plan for me. Because I’ve heard so many people gripe about the pains of trying to get an interview there, trying to get hired there. But it really just fell into place for me. And yeah… it’s interesting. I do feel like my first exposure, the reason I knew the name Pandora’s Box was because of this documentary and it just kind of led me into that place. Then I kind of just fell down the rabbit hole of the whole world and really fell in love with the practice of BDSM as a profession. I had played around in my personal life previously. But I think any of us on this side of it know there’s a whole different character to sort of…a professional practice around this kind of play.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Totally. And I think one reason I’m super excited to chat with you is I think that there’s something so both eloquent and elegant about your branding and like, so, so precise that before I knew you I was like, I know she’s a filmmaker, I know that your background has to be in photography or videography to be consistently producing that like, high caliber level of content. And I think there’s something beyond technical expertise, which you clearly have that really captures what it feels like to be in that head space and captures the feeling of material in a fetish way, which I think can be really difficult to translate. Especially when you’re just cranking out, making content. Or just leaning super heavily into femdom tropes. I feel like you both have your own femdom style and aesthetic that like, carries through your brand. And I guess I’m curious about your relationship to both style and fetish because I feel like it feels rare to me to see a domme engaging in a way with fetish that I’m like, this is your fetish. I mean I don’t know if that’s true, but you do a good job of translating it, of like, this is how I see. And I think my background in photography, I like to like, take photos that make me feel like what one of us is feeling. I feel like that translates so beautifully in your content. So I’m curious what that is, what that’s like for you or how that relates for you.
Mistress Trinity
I mean, that’s such a great compliment and I really appreciate that sort of observation. I actually have a quote pulled up, which is very… photography school 101. But it’s something that I always think about in relation to fetish. In capturing fetish, which is Roland Barthes’ idea of like the punctum of a photograph. This is a quote from Barthes and he kind of describes the punctum being an incidental but personal poignant detail in a photograph which pierces or pricks a particular viewer constituting a private meaning unrelated to any cultural code. So this is something that I feel like, to me, really relates to both photographing a scene and also scene construction and fetishistic sexuality in general, where there is often this very sharp and kind of personal point of focus, which I think is something that’s necessary to create interesting photography in general. I also think in terms of documenting sexuality and especially actually, I wouldn’t even just say fetishistic sexuality, I think sexuality in general, it requires this kind of personal, elusive focal point that really kind of breaks open the erotic potential of whatever’s happening. So I think, you know, in trying to have a practice, in having a mind that kind of works this way anyway in relation to sexuality, I think it comes very naturally to me to try to zero in on these details. And it’s been kind of a very cool… you know, I think… I didn’t really know when I first started documenting more how much it would translate to other people, but it seems like people like it so, so far it’s been very cool to see how many people are picking up on that as well.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I like what you said about the focal point because I feel like the same thing that makes a good session I feel like, is the same thing that’s making your photography stand out and like, that focal point feels translated in a way that I feel like a lot of, I mean… I don’t like a lot of femdom content. I think it’s boring. I think it relies on tropes. This is no shade to anyone. Like, do what makes you money. Do what makes you your bag. I think we all know putting too much effort into content that doesn’t sell that much isn’t the thing that’s giving back to us financially. But I do think there’s something about how you capture your, like, going about in your dungeon that remind me of like how I see kink when I’m in play. Because it is very much that like, mono focus of focal point. And when I shoot kink, I love to play with like, shallow depth of focus because that focal point of like what you’re obsessing about in that moment where your focus is like when you’re in that moment is so focused on something I feel like so small and like sensuality for me is like, what was that one thing that someone said that like, I’ll think about on loop or that like look or like the way that light hit someone, that’s what I think about when I’m jerking off I’m like, Ooh, that magic hour light on that person, on their lips, like just flawless no notes, boom. And it’s so… sexuality is so visual for me and not about what someone looks like, but like, how they’re carrying themselves, how they’re translating their desire with aesthetics. I mean, lighting does a ton of work for me. Yeah. And I’m curious about… so there’s like fetish in like ,you clearly play with latex fetishes. And I think there’s like also like fetishistic thought that feels kind of different of that like, obsessive desire that I’m curious if you could talk about a little bit.
Mistress Trinity
I mean, I think also, in general, I say this a lot both in terms of like, I think that one of the biggest luxuries of sort of how my practice as a pro domme has lent itself to creating these very intentional scenes is in this ability to focus attention. Because so often, I mean, I think in the current state of the world and everything, I think most of us reside in a place of being pretty hyperstimulated most of the time. And I think even most modern pornography, which again, this is no shade to anybody and if this gets you off/ you are enjoying making this kind of content, that’s wonderful. But most modern pornography is also very gratuitous, kind of trying to fit in as many erotic triggers as possible into the same frame and all of this. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that of course, but I don’t find it resonates with me personally. For me, being able to have moments both, you know, in real time or captured, that actually release a lot of our attention and allow things to be very small to me feels very luxurious and is really peaceful for me. And is something that I think I just, I don’t get in many parts of my life. I don’t think my submissives get it in many parts of their life. But, you know, to have a moment where really the only thing that you’re focused on is the way that latex looks across someone’s body or the way that rope feels on your skin or you know, any of these very small details, but letting them be your whole world for a certain amount of time. To me there’s a huge luxury in that. And yeah, to then capture that in a frame of film or whatever else, it feels very natural and kind of allows a viewer of that image to also participate in that experience.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, you feel drawn in in the photos, but I love this idea of focal point, focused attention. And I think that there is, that totally is the parallel of being able to be so intimate and so close. And I often will tell submissives that I’m like, honestly, what other time in your life are you putting your phone on airplane mode for a few hours and not constantly checking your phone. I think that’s a therapeutic element about what we do, what we offer people and that chance to attune to either another or that like, small detail of the rubber or hemp or jute rope on your skin and falling into that sensation. I haven’t seen too much of your kink practice other than what’s online. But in mine, I bring in a lot of elements of yoga and meditation and breathing to kind of like, narrow in that focal point and cultivate that space for mono-tasking for cultivated obsession for worship. I feel like what you’re talking about is like, worship in the truest sense. Not in the fetishistic sense of like, I want to worship you Mistress, but like what happens when you’re on your knees in prayer, what happens when you go to church and you can hear like, the choir around you and you’re completely transported out of your body and feel like you are encountering the divine. Whether it be in a church when you’re jerking off at your domme’s feet. But I feel like there are also so many details in religion that bring about that focal point.
Mistress Trinity
Right, totally.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
That I feel like, so I don’t know if you have anything to say about that.
Mistress Trinity
Well I think that’s… I think it’s a Simone Weil quote that is just basically… the quote is that attention is the highest form of prayer. I think it’s Simone Weil. I could be totally wrong with that, but it sounds like something she would say. And I mean, I totally agree and you know, I’m certainly not an expert in any particular spiritual practice, but I think that moving with a lot of awareness around the body and mind and how the two interplay with one another and really following my own, I feel that I follow my own instincts most of the time. I don’t really know where I’m drawing from, but I think it’s a really enriching experience. The one thing I would add is that I think also for me, I play a lot with fetishes around objectification and I think also to be able to allow the submissive and to invite them to actually be able to step out of their personhood and their subjectivity in a certain way really heightens these feelings of being able to release and you know, obviously all of that’s done… It can be loaded to do that. It can bring up a lot of different things. But I think that many of us feel a huge amount of fatigue around needing to exist in our current world where, you know, I dunno, a lot of things are kind of crumbling around us. And to have this that feels very bounded and hopefully as safe as possible, I think is hugely transformative both for a submissive and also as a witness to that experience.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I totally agree. I feel like it’s not talked about enough though, like, how moving it can be to witness the space that you’re holding and like, facilitating, for someone to do that. And like you mentioned, even in holding that space for someone, I’m also engaging in that form of mono-tasking. It might be that my focus might be different. Yes. But it is still that same energy that kind of like feeds off of each other and I’m still engaged in that space, which is where, that is all that I’m thinking about, which is one of the reasons why I just really like one-on-one interactions and in person sessions in a way that just will never translate to how I feel about online work. Because that, getting that focal point that like, singular monotasking takes so much more for me without that feedback from someone else. But yeah, I guess I’m curious about how you would explain your relationship to fetishism and then how it relates to photography.
Mistress Trinity
My relationship. That’s a big question. I mean, I think that, you know, I’ve always been a person who is very much drawn to visual aesthetics, you know, since I was a child, sort of… art and being able to kind of externalize something has always been just, an impulse that I’ve been driven to. And I think, you know, that just that kind of innate desire to have some kind of record or creation, I don’t know, that’s just something that’s there. In terms of fetishism… I mean, I do think that fetish very much affects, again, just the point of view when I’m holding a camera. You know, I think that I’m somebody that I’m extremely drawn to texture to, you know, these kind of smaller details of things that we talked about that I think all of those things really animate and also tell the story of what I’m doing. I think that I’m a big fan of, you know, even some photographs that I share online, you don’t have the background of who these people are, who, what my relationship with them is. But I hope that a lot of it can be inferred just through, you know, physical position and composition, all of these kinds of things. Yeah. And in terms of my relationship to fetishism, it’s honestly hard to make a definitive statement about my relationship to Fetishism because I feel like it’s something that is very much like, a constant evolution, which is part of what I like about it. I think that there’s a way that, you know, I think fetishism for me allows for a lot of surprise and it kind of asks for a close attention to things. And you know, in that attention there’s a lot of potential to be surprised. Like I remember even a few years ago when I was kind of getting more and more into rope bondage. I remember like, I’ve always enjoyed bondage, it’s always been kind of a central part of my practice. And when I started learning more and more about tying, I remember the really distinct feeling of starting to kind of crave and really enjoy just like the smell of jute the way that it, the way that it sounds when it tightens. These little things, you know. I think I’ve always been somebody that material is something that I think about a lot and when I’ve had more of a deliberate fine art practice has always been something that, you know, there’s such an amazing sensuality between how bodies and materials can interact. So yeah, I think for me fetish again is, I think I’ve, you know, at this point in my life, played through a lot of things and explored a lot of different things. And what I try to do is just keep a really open mind and allow myself to notice these details as they come up.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I think that’s lovely. I feel like I’m curious if there’s a relationship to you about voyeurism, which is something that I’ve definitely felt. So I like, I love to incorporate photography into play. There’s something that feels very natural about like, my style of domination and having a camera, I’m not totally sure if it’s like objectification and like being able to like, aggressively pose somebody and bring them into the position that I want them in to convey what I am wanting to convey in the image. Yeah. My experience of like coming up in leather community where I was training in like this, old guard leather chateau, which… I feel like my foray into pro domming came from a pretty different route than a lot of- I feel like I found the lifestyle first and then I worked my first job in production and was like, absolutely not. Am I working like 80 hours a week for this little pay, like I cannot physically go. And then I was like, oh, a couple of hours and I made the same amount I made in the month. Like that seems much more my speed I guess. So yeah. But I came to it from a very lifestyle space where I was like exploring it in my own sexuality first. And when I was at the leather chateau I wasn’t always the most comfortable. And I was there while I was studying photography and so I would bring my camera out and I would take photos and I would kind of like disappear into the background and indulge my voyeurism and kind of like, take all of these snapshots. It was such an interesting space because…They called it a chateau, but it was like definitely kind of like a double wide place that was just kind of like transformed by mostly the energy, right? That was in the space. And so there were all of these like… this dichotomy of some of these like really sensuous and like gorgeous elements with some of these just…more like everyday life vibes and I was really interested in that transformation and like, transcendence of those materials into what makes them otherworldly. But I definitely think for me in my relationship to photography there is like…I like to watch more than be watched, which I think is, I feel like people are always surprised when- I had a domme be like, oh, a socially awkward domme, like, what a surprise. I’m like, really? Are we not all, secretly that way? Okay. But getting to hide behind the camera and kind of like, play that way has always felt so natural to me. And I’ve also done a bunch of… feminization play is a really big part of my practice. Gender exploration play. And I used to, I still do, offer photo shoots for all during transformation sessions and we’ll do like a boudoir photo shoot, which has been really, really fun. I think like, the power dynamic between photographer and subject is something that’s really fun to play with. It can both be objectifying, kind of humiliating, kind of…very aggressive. All of my submissives tell me that I’m my most sadistic when I’m teaching them to take photos of me. I’m like, “no… like this. Like, you can’t fucking do it.” And I get very cruel in that instance when I’m not the photographer, but I think there’s something about the power dynamic of photographer and subject that I think is really fun to explore within a D/s dynamic. Especially, I feel like so much of what we explore in kink is about different power dynamics that exists in real life and that may have impacted us in a certain way and just like, whether through personal experience or through just seeing it in media. I think the history of like, how extractive and exploitative photography can be, I’m thinking of like National Geographic features and things like that where, you know, white photographers are parachuting into cultures and just like extracting and extracting and there’s no gain for the people who are the subjects of that content. Or like non-sex working photographers who come in and take photos of us and then sell them. I can’t think of the photographer’s name who like screenshotted someone’s Instagram and sold it for like- a bunch of money. As if that was the art and that she was not. And I think about this a lot especially I feel like the more visible I am, the more I see people taking things from me. There’s recently a book that was published and there’s like, 50 pages of the book that’s about a scene that I did on Zoom during the pandemic. Like just straight out, no acknowledgement, no attribution. I know that the author was like there. And I think that relationship is fun for me to play with. Like having been in that situation and had things extracted in that way, being able to like, play the role of the extractive photographer and just like, getting what I want out of it is also really fun. I feel like there’s a question in here somewhere, but maybe it’s something as broad as like, in what ways do you incorporate photography into your play? Because I feel like it’s very different to we are making a photo and like, I am bringing this camera into this session as an extension of my body to add to this erotic experience that we are sharing and it can look like a variety of different things. And so I guess I’m curious how, when you are photographing in a session, what that may look like and what that feels like to you as a domme.
Mistress Trinity
I have so much to say in response. One of the first things that comes to mind, especially when you’re talking about, you know, different power dynamics and different subject positions between a photographer and a model or, you know… these things are, I mean, one of the things that I’ve always felt is hugely appealing and kind of liberating for me in kink is that there is an understanding and a consenting into two parties having an intimate experience but with very different, experiences that each of them will have. And this distance is actually allowed for, accounted for and it’s not a failing on either part to connect. It’s actually sort of what’s baked into the experience and allowing that sort of divide to create tension and drama is something that, you know, I’ve often been kind of…I’ve often felt in my life that it’s a shortcoming of mind that I sometimes have a harder time connecting with people. And to be able to actually have this allowed distance has been something that’s actually brought me so much closer to so many different people. And yeah, and then I think that the kind of the idea that you bring up that’s kind of this normative framework for understanding photography that like, the camera is sort of this tool of domination or exploitation of its subject. I always think about when I was in college I remember taking a world religion class and I remember a student in the class, I wish I remembered their name, I could attribute this somehow to them. I really have no idea. But I remember they brought up this idea that submission to God, like to want to submit is kind of one of the most transgressive and challenging things within a world that so values power and domination. And that having like an aesthetic practice can actually be this way of really undermining whatever power dynamic it might be. Whether that’s patriarchy, capitalism, whatever you want to talk about. And that has always stuck with me in that, you know, there is something very taboo about desiring submission because our world places so much stock on being powerful, on being able to dominate. So I find that there’s something very beautiful about being able to capture people in this kind of vulnerability and have it be something that does bring them a sense of being seen in a deeper way in this moment of transgression or vulnerability, whatever it might be. And then I think too, another thing that I think about a lot, particularly with most of the people that I work with who are either in my photographs or videos are almost always hooded and their identities are not shown. And I think a lot too just about this kind of, again, almost it ties back to this idea of objectification, but this removal of our legible identity, our legible face, which now is through these digital means completely tied to our legal identities and all of these things. I think that like, I love to think about the way that, you know, BDSM photography can almost be this liberation from extremely heavily surveilled photography and stuff like that. And this way that being masked, literally having your literal face taken out of the frame can actually be such a liberating experience and allow to be captured in a much more kind of, I mean I don’t like the word authenticity because I think it’s really loaded, but it can allow you to be captured in something of a more authentic or kind of released state where you’re a little bit less self-conscious.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I love that. I also, I study surveillance technologies and I love the idea of ‘gimp as anti surveillance’.
Mistress Trinity
And you know, I mean I think, I remember I wrote a paper about this in college actually about kind of like removal of identity in film as like, this way that characters access different potentials within themself. Because I think we all have a lot of stories that we tell about who we want our kind of… legal identity to be. And I do think that, you know, in wearing a latex mask and allowing your body to be proportioned differently with a corset or whatever it might be, there is this way that you can step outside of this very narrow and prescribed identity that you have to live up to.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
There are some fun articles about like, juggalo makeup and drag as anti surveillance technologies that used to be able to fool facial recognition technologies, which are very fun. ButI think there’s something really interesting with the, first of all, I think masks and like blindfolds are an incredibly powerful tool in BDSM because I do think they give that feeling of surrender so incredibly powerfully and so incredibly quickly where you’re no longer thinking about yourself. You’re no longer thinking about what’s around you when you’re unable to see. Often your other senses will kick into a heightened state so that the sounds that are around you, the smell of jute, the smell of your mistress’ sweat, the clanking of her heels on the dungeon ground… Those are the things that are really bringing you into that deeper subspace. And I think for me it’s like, both the removal of identity that can be incredibly powerful as well as the removal of sensation and removal of the senses. Being able to play with those two things combined I think, is really powerful. And then it’s like, both taking away someone’s sight, stepping in and documenting that vulnerability and then being able to share those images with people afterwards. I feel like having incredibly transformative potential and just like you were saying, I completely agree with you, like society there, it’s so taboo to accept and welcome submission if you’re not like, a housewife. It’s just, it’s not, I mean even for housewives, it’s like, is that even being rewarded for you? Is this benefiting you? And so I think there are so many ways that we’re taught to not embrace those aspects of ourselves and that you have to fight against and then it can become like, an incredibly vulnerable thing to accept that role and like… the way you talk about bondage and objectification of taking away the responsibilities from someone of being a person who exists in society that like, has to think about the news, that has to think about relationships and like, being able to just be without any of those responsibilities I think is so powerful. One of the reasons I love objectification play so, so much- I have this one submissive who books me for like many hour ignore sessions and is into feet. And it’s not like the performative ignoring it is just such a deep meditative state that he is able to get into. And it’s just so incredibly beautiful and like I’ve had like dommes join me for those sessions who are like, “that was so romantic”. Like, I don’t usually feel that and I feel like when someone really just embraces their fetish and can lean fully into it as a form of worship, as a form of obsessive focusing of attention and like, being able to match them as their domme with that same energy, I feel like is so powerful. And I don’t really identify as a fetishist. I’m much more interested in power and then, fetish and obsession as a way to play with power. I’m curious about what you enjoy about objectification play as well as like how you feel about… I guess looking at your content I would be like, put you in more of a fetish category if I’m categorizing people, I don’t know why I’m doing this, but you know, like you make a lot of, of fetish content. There’s also like deep beauty and vulnerability in the dynamics that you have. And I’m wondering a little bit about that relationship between objectification, fetish and like, how domination fits into that for you.
Mistress Trinity
I mean, I think that, this is like, a hot button word but, I think actually in BDSM, I feel like a lot of people talk about ritual and often when people talk about ritual, they talk about these kind of really heavily constructed scenes where you know, there’s like this purging, this religious element. All of this for me, when I think about ritual in my practice, it’s actually about repetitive practice, like what it means to just kneel, put on a collar. You’ve done that in front of me X amount of times. But like, how does the repetitiveness and this sort of practice of physical movement, whatever it might be, how does that kind of trigger mindsets? So for me, I think I have a lot of interest in ritual in that way, which really allows a submissive to drop into a different head space. And also sort of in that, in observing that it also allows me to come into my head space and I mean, it seems very basic and I think about this actually a lot. This is something that Mistress Jackie said in one of her rope seminars that I’ve taken where we were kind of just discussing like, you know why… I remember we were doing a Q and A and one of the students asked why she chose to do one version of an upline versus another and like what were the practical reasons for this. And she was very clear where she just was like, well the way I do it is more beautiful so that’s why I do it that way. You know, it’s not about, you know, both would work fine but this one is more beautiful so that’s how it’s done. And that struck me so much because I think I had never heard somebody say something so clearly that just related to their own aesthetic sensibility and how they are pleased looking at something. And it really emboldened me to also make choices just due to what I find beautiful and harmonious and peaceful to look at. Which I think objectification that is something that comes up greatly for me where, you know, there’s something about, you know, putting somebody in full black rubber and just looking at the shine of it, moving my hands over it, it does something to my brain where I just am able to release into this sort of sensory and aesthetic pleasure. Same with rope, I think it does a very similar thing for me. A lot of different types of bondage really. So yeah, that idea of just actually being able to make choices just because of what you’ve decided for yourself, what you know to be more beautiful for you, I found that that was a real moment for me. And yeah, I think that’s, you know… I feel like for me definitely fetish and being able to feel that I have this sort of agency over somebody to make these choices based on my own sort of rubrik of what I have decided for them. That to me is where the power comes in. I think that, you know, often we talk about fetish and power on two opposite ends of a spectrum in BDSM, that doesn’t resonate with me at all. I find them to be very implicated into one another and I think, I don’t know… I think the kinds of people that I tend to work well with have a similar relation where they do have strong sensory or visual reference points for what is erotic to them, but not so much that it overwhelms the personhood of who they want to be engaging in this kind of play with.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
That’s really interesting. I like that quote about because it pleases me, I feel like it’s such like a good domme reason for doing things that it’s also like, that’s so subjective and also that’s what’s important I feel like for a domme to be engaging in their dominance in a scene. Hearing you talk was reminding me of a clip I once shot, which was like, honestly as a joke…I was with a friend who was filming for me and I ran out of customs to film and I’m like, give me a custom. I’m going to film a custom just for you. My friend who is like my most “aesthetic” friend, she’s a designer, she helps me like design my house and just is like, so sweet and thoughtful and has such an eye for furniture and interior design in a way that my brain doesn’t, I’m like, I know what looks good but I wouldn’t know how necessarily to put it together in the right way. And so we were in this beautiful hotel room in Detroit, I think it’s the Siren Hotel and she’s like, I want you to do an erotic objectification film about turning me into an object in this room…of like, how beautiful this room is. And I made this clip called ‘Object of Beauty’ where I was just fondling this lamp and talking about the design aesthetics and like, this portrait of this nude woman on the wall with this lamp and talking about transforming someone and magically like, turning them into an object in this room and like, an object bringing pleasure. And it actually turned into a clip I really liked. I’m like, I don’t really know how other people feel about it, but I feel like for me it got to objectification kind of like, at its core. That it’s like, both taking away your agency, like taking away that sight, taking away that responsibility of personhood as well as being able to impose my desires on you, totally aesthetically. I think for me it often looks like…I have a section on my website called like ‘human canvases’. And I really am into, how do I say this on a place that we can share, I am really interested in play that opens the body and a sea of red comes out and like, decorating people and shifting how the body looks with nylon and rope and like, not necessarily for restrictive bondage, but just like, manipulating the body in a variety of ways. Adding to the body, like adding flowers to the body, addingmeaningful objects. I’ll often have people bring things that they want to be incorporated into mummification scenes. And I think that that power to be able to turn someone into a canvas is so fun. Isn’t it?
Mistress Trinity
Yeah. It’s interesting hearing you talk about it. Because I feel like I almost have a similar but opposite impulse where I think a lot about, this is again a quote that I don’t know who to attribute to, but the quote is, you know, “perfection is achieved not when there’s nothing left to add, but there’s nothing left to take away”. And for me, the process of stripping somebody, you know, putting on just like, clean looking black rubber to really make their form as minimalistic as possible. Clean rope, simple. You know, that to me, speaks to my aesthetic and this like intense stripping of a person and of a submissive to this very basic moldable state where there’s truly nothing left to take away and anything that is put there is done in such a delicate way, that to me is like the highest expression.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I love that. I filmed some clips with Mistress Roxanne recently who was working hard to give me a latex fetish. I really appreciate it.
Mistress Trinity
I was actually going to ask you about that because I feel like you’ve had a bit of a renaissance.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I’m having a mid-life crisis.
Mistress Trinity
Not to call you out, but I remember you have made some scathing tweets in the past about latex fetishes.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I hate latex so…
Mistress Trinity
I know you do!
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I’m very confused sexually right now. I’ve always admired it. I think latex is incredibly beautiful. I think I also like have a mild latex allergy and it can be uncomfortable for me.
Mistress Trinity
That’ll turn you off. Yeah, for sure.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I’ll just indulge my masochism that way. There you go. I don’t know what happened, I’ve always enjoyed seeing other people in it, but it was one fetish that I really could not understand.Specifically why dommes were into it. Roxanne and I filmed a clip of like, her helping me get dressed, us getting dressed in latex and like, talking about latex and you know, she is like shimmying into her latex. And I’m like, help! while we’re talking about it, because like, I don’t know how much lube to use. And there’s something we were talking about, which is like, latex often makes me feel very submissive. And the restriction, it feels like I’m in bondage. And I think that’s why I don’t associate it as much with like my dominant power. But I think that hearing more latex fetishists talk about it, of like, you know, the way you talk about it and like having a barrier, like this incredibly thin barrier between skin, being able to transform someone, being able to take away that identity. And I filmed a clip after this getting into latex and like, sexy shining latex videos where I like… femdom, POV like turning someone into like a latex gimp and like, taking away their identity. And I kind of like, channeled one of my submissives who I knew would be super into it and I’m like, something unlocked in my brain. I’m like, I’m into it! But I do think the reason that I’m getting into latex is because you get less flagged on social media for nudity.
Mistress Trinity
Yeah, I mean it’s so interesting because hearing you talk about how, you know, this experience, how it feels akin to bondage or something. I mean, it totally makes sense like, sensually and all of that. To me it’s like, I’ve always felt that like being in a body is bondage and to have this ability… just like, to subtly, you know, shape and again, there, there’s something about latex that sits in this strange like, wrapped around place of something that feels very natural and skin like, but also something that feels very artificial. It’s kind of in that horseshoe area between the two. That to me has always felt yeah, kind of like a, a liberation from the state of just being embodied with no accent or something.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I feel like that makes sense if you feel like trapped by the body, adding in something to like, hold you in even more… I feel like makes sense. I think it’s also just, I have been a bitch about latex, but it’s mostly like just my personal…
Mistress Trinity
I fully support anyone being a bitch about pretty much anything. So…
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I have participated in kink shaming and this is my formal apology , by now acquiring the fetish and humiliating myself.
Mistress Trinity
That’s always the lifecycle of a fetish, right? You have to reject and shame first.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Exactly. It’s interesting. I don’t think I feel the same way, like the way some of my friends describe when they put it on. But I think like, aesthetically and physically it’s doing something different to me. I think I also just have sensory processing issues where I’m like, I love natural fibers, I can’t wear anything that’s like a blend with like artificial material in it. Like if there’s a tag on my clothing, I want to like, get rid of myself, you know. If I have a tag on my clothing, it’s going to be a bad day for me. So like, as soon as I get home, comfy clothes on. I have a pile of pants that are like, these pants don’t make me cry and these pants are going to make me cry. So I think that’s also just like, a personal thing for me. But I think visually it’s just so striking and the way that I feel like latex, more than leather, can transform in a way that is incredibly powerful. I think there’s also something about what you’re talking about, like sitting at this intersection of natural and unnatural that has so much space for world building and imagination and like, creating a tabula rasa, like a blank slate to project desire onto that I think is incredibly sexy. I just did a photo shoot… This is kind of linking both things we’ve been talking about… One of my submissives loves that I am a photographer and has bought me a bunch of new film cameras that we’ve been fucking around with and some like, gorgeous Zeiss lenses that I am just so stoked about.
Mistress Trinity
What camera did you get?
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I still have my 5D Mark II, That’s pretty old, but I have very nice lenses for that camera. She’s an artist and a classically trained painter and…what is the word? And like, will draw my feet and I’ll be taking photos and we just have these really fun art making dates. We recently went to Purple Passion and just bought like a shit ton of latex and I’m like, I’m going to like completely transform you. And like when it happened, just seeing that shift in her body, seeing her come to know her body in that latex…It had like, the hood that just fits the face perfectly with only holes for the nose. So it was just completely anonymizing and she couldn’t see anything. I like, just had her tits out, stapled them together and turned her into a vase and like, used her as a prop for photos that I was taking of myself. And it just felt so aligned with my style of domination… of getting to play in this way that can be like, incredibly cathartic as well as artistic and like, getting to indulge those visual aspects of myself that are so fun. And I feel like for me, femdom devoid of aesthetic is not interesting for me. So getting to play with people who are also really interested in aesthetics is incredibly fun and rewarding.
Mistress Trinity
Totally. Yeah, I mean I think I relate to that and I think, again, to me it’s all about that sort of…the handing over of control of how things are going to be looking. I feel like it’s fun to also take people who have maybe never been able to see themselves in a way that they really enjoy or that they feel is expressive in a certain sense and actually like, take control over making that happen.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, it’s Fascinating. I like that. Okay, if you were to deepen my latex fetish, what would you tell me about latex. If you wanted to radicalize me right now?
Mistress Trinity
Well you do you have a cat suit yet?
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I have one on the way.
Mistress Trinity
Okay. You need a cat suit. I mean, to me, latex isn’t… I feel like a really high percentage of the body has to be covered before you understand a latex fetish…or you could get in a vac bed.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I think vac beds are so sexy.
Mistress Trinity
I think, you know, for me, one of the most rewarding and like, deeply fetishistic experiences I have had with latex is when I’m in a full catsuit and get massaged with latex lubricant and that feeling of just sensation through the rubber and all of that. Especially if you want to experience sort of what the, if you want to feel the sensory piece of it, that’s the biggest thing. And you need gloves too. I feel like. I really feel like coverage is important with latex.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I got toe socks, so…
Mistress Trinity
Good. That’s great. That’s wonderful. I feel like, suck on your feet through them. You’ll be a convert. I swear. You’ll be a convert immediately.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I have been in like gloves, socks, I guess not catsuit but like, pants and long sleeves. It was interesting when Roxanne and I were getting dressed, she was helping me with a corset and I’m like, we’re just having two radically different experiences where I’m like, what a service for you to help me get dressed. And she’s like, I’m putting you in latex. Ha ha. Wow. It’s so interesting how like any of these activities can be done from either end of the D/s spectrum. I’m like, not on the same page here.
Mistress Trinity
The other thing that I will say that I feel like for me is really profound in a latex session is the hood that you described that’s like very full coverage of the face, just eye hole, just nose holes open. I get a lot of insane pleasure out of just like, looking at somebody’s face in that and like massaging their temples, hearing how their breathing changes with touch, looking at this completely covered face for me… that’s a huge and very deep experience as well. And like, just kind of really taking in this very like, anonymized subject that now is yours to mold in one way or another.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I love that it’s like the, I feel like so much of D/s is about taking away of that personhood to like, even if it’s not straight objectification, there is that process of you taking away that process… of like, renaming someone with a submissive name, taking away their name, they’re stripping away their clothing that they wear. They’re leaving their wallet and their phone and their ties to like, their family and their personhood and their job. And like, don’t have to have that. And I feel like even without latex, it’s such a big part of like the ritual, right? That happens. And I love that differentiation that you were making between like, we are going to plan a ritual to either traumatize you or maybe excorcise some trauma. Which I feel like is also like a big part of my style as a domme. I love those like, specific intentional things. And also, a submissive that I trained who’s now a pro domme… I’ve spoken with her about how my training kind of like rubbed off on her and the things that I do at the start of the scene… from kneeling at my feet to like, the specific breathing, to the way that I touch a submissive is now a part of her practice. And I think it’s like… I’m not always- like the collaring that you’re talking about and the stripping, like watching someone remove their clothing and like, that moment of vulnerability and moving into a session is both that ritual is like how I attune to a submissive and sort of like into it and like can connect and like figure out how to move within the scene through doing the same thing every time. And I think that there’s something about like, habit, obsession and ritual that doesn’t need to be like, this is the ritual of a marriage. Like we’re getting married and spending all this time and tension on like, ceremony. There is, I guess the difference between like ceremony and like, the ritual action of every day devotion and repetition. That for me, just like as a domme really help to get into that head space because if it’s like my morning, like when I’m good and like have like a daily morning practice, I do the same exact thing every different day, every single day. And if something is different in my body, my body will tell me because I’m doing the same thing every day. So if I have a different response to it, it’s like giving me information and intelligence about my body. And I feel that way like when I’m starting a session, if I do it the same way every single time, I’m like getting the information that I need as a domme to pursue the rest.
Mistress Trinity
I think it’s, you know, I think, I think breaking down ceremony versus ritual is an interesting distinction. because I feel like for me, in my practice, I am not a planner at all. I do not plan scenes almost ever. You know, I’ll have a loose idea, like I’m not, you know, I’m not going in totally whatever. But I really, almost always, I just, again, like I have this opener that kind of, like you said, attunes me to the session. You know, obviously every time we do it, there’s different variables, how we’re both coming in, whatever else. And then I just go from there and that’s always been my way. Whenever I’ve tried to plan things, I never stick to it, so I just kind of stopped. So I’m somebody where I feel like ritual is really important to my practice, but I almost never go into this ceremonial place for whatever reason.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I feel like my ceremonies are often not planned at all. And I feel like my approach to like, I don’t know what will happen, it’s very intuitive and starts with like, that same ritual of how I would start any other session. But what I will have done is asked them to prepare Like, intention and what they’re bringing into the space. So whether they’re bringing objects, I’ll often have people bring a bouquet of flowers or a bolt of fabric or like meaningful stones for them. Things that they want to be incorporated. I have this one submissive, I keep talking about my woman submissive. I do have men submissive sometimes, I’ve been trying to like, say in interviews that I also see men, because my branding accidentally got a little bit too queer. And I’m like, I do also see men, I swear. But, I have this one submissive who, each time we get together as kind of like, a ritual, she is so devout and service oriented and like, in between the time she sees me, she’s collecting these objects that are making her think of me. She is also someone who’s like very aesthetic and aesthetically driven and one of the most interesting ways she styles herself that ‘ve seen in New York, she’s fascinating. She will come to the session with this duffle bag that she has made of leather and like, I get to keep the bag and all of these gifts and offerings of things she’s made, things she’s acquired while going thrifting that she thought were visually interesting. And then we’ll move into the session with an intention. And then I will get to use the raw materials that she brought in our collaboration for the scene. And so I feel like for me, a lot of the ceremony comes from just having people do that prep work and intention setting and like, bringing the right things in the space and maybe something they want to leave behind. But I don’t think it necessitates like, a meticulous planning. I think I…part of my magickal practice is largely chaos based and so it’s, I think it’s just like setting yourself up, setting myself up for success in that way.
Mistress Trinity
Totally. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Okay, my next question for you is, if you were a fascist dictator, what would people wear?
Mistress Trinity
I’m sorry, I feel like we’re getting too close to fascist dictatorship for me to feel comfortable answering this question. I’m not, I’m not here to judge, but I have to say, I just, I can’t dream of being a fascist dictator. Okay, maybe that’s a cop-out, but that’s my answer.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
If you were to style everyone in the world so that they were to look like you, if you had consent to style the world so that they would fit your aesthetic desire, like what would they be wearing? Is my nicer way of framing question.
Mistress Trinity
Okay. The thing is, this is maybe a cop out too, but this is something that I have found within myself more and more as I…maybe I’m taking this way too seriously. Also, this is like just like a funny question, whatever, but like honestly when I hear “you can style everyone in the world, even with consent, whatever, I’m like, that’s a lot of pressure and I don’t want to do it”. That’s honestly how I feel. I don’t know, I feel like I like it. I am in the in the moment where it really is invited and I can focus. I love it. But when there’s too much going on, I’m like, I’m out. I’ll just, I don’t need to be involved. I think I easily feel overwhelmed maybe.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It’s more of a one-on-one situation.
Mistress Trinity
Exactly. Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I just thought like, I was imagining an army of gimps.
Mistress Trinity
Yeah. I mean that would work. Don’t get me wrong. That would totally work for me. Yeah. I think I’m taking this question too seriously. Honestly. That scared me a little bit.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
But I mean, maybe it’s something to talk about too, right? Like whatever comes up in this space we can work with it. You posted a tweet recently which, I don’t know if you remember off of the top of your head because I’m sure it’ll be more eloquent than my phrasing, about playing with power dynamics the way that we do as dommes being very bananas right now in the time of like, multiple ongoing genocides that aren’t like, not happening at other points but are incredibly visible on social media in a way that I think is definitely newer and just, the coverage is shifting very radically in the last six months.
Mistress Trinity
I think all of our platforms have been kind of collapsed into one thing, right? It’s like, yeah, there’s something very, very strange about, you know, the same place that people are sharing information about protest news, whatever else, being the same place that you’re supposed to be marketing yourself and with the sort of current state of ad sites or alternative places to engage specifically with what we do. It’s all collapsed into one thing, which I think wouldn’t be my first choice. I’ll say that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Totally. But I do think it is, you know, I think I tweeted about this like six months ago when I feel like things were escalating… So, I don’t know, it’s so interesting seeing people who play with power dynamics in the way they do, like not seem to have that understanding of how and where what we’re playing with comes from and like, how abuses …state level abuses of power take place. And I think it’s something that people who like, play with power in the way we do… It’s like all in our service to like continue educating ourselves and continue learning both about history as well as like, we’re talking about aesthetics… It’s like where do these aesthetics come from? Like where does the worship of black leather boots come from? And also this is a hill that I will die on, but like, why don’t American Nazis dress better? I’m sorry, but like, no style. Like there’s nothing to eroticize here. Sorry, this is the tangent, my brain. But like, I think like, you know, even when we are not expressly playing with versions of state violence, even we’re not doing a cop role play, there are still elements of like, police fashion evident in how dominatrices style themselves. There are still, even if you’re not wearing a swastika, there are elements of like, Hugo Boss’ creation of the Nazi uniform that are evident in how dommes style themselves. Even if you are not playing with race play, some of the tools that we are using come from slavery. And I think not talking about that feels like it does a disservice to how deep and transformative expressions of consensual power dynamics can be.
Mistress Trinity
I think, you know, one thing that I was kind of getting at with the tweet that I put out, and I’m just going to preface this by saying perhaps I feel this way because I am not somebody who is submissive. Like I really don’t ever hold that role. But I think intellectually for me, there’s something that I can really square about asking to give up power in certain ways and how that that can really, you know, within a container be very cathartic and fuel a lot of catharsis and be this great release in this space where you can safely explore these things. There’s something to me that, even though I do it every day, is hard to square about: what does it mean to ask for power and why do we want that and why is it something that is a craving and is a pursuit? I think that there’s a lot of amazing texts out there about this. Like, I’m not the first person to think through this or ask these questions, but I think that wanting to replicate some elements of this kind of like psychodrama of power, which all of us as human beings experience daily in varying degrees… I just find it to be a question that I don’t necessarily have an answer to at the moment. And that feels, you know, I feel that I trust myself and I trust the people that I play with to… I know that we are creating something good. I can feel it between us and if there are steps off of that course, then we will correct them responsibly. But I think that it is an interesting question and you know, I think that, again, within kind of traditional femdom conversations about this, there’s so much discourse about like, you know, inverting this heteronormative narrative or whatever. But I also think, again, at least for myself as a white woman, it’s like, what does that mean to really step into why and how this is fueling me? I don’t know, again, I don’t really have answers, but it feels like it’s getting more and more confusing as time goes on. And it’s not to say that it’s something that makes me want to step away… It actually makes me want to step closer and kind of continue to see how intimacy can be built through these channels and we can learn through doing within trusted boundaries.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I think there’s something that you mentioned earlier about like, the distance allowing you to be closer to that I feel like is also relevant for me of like, there’s something about D/s Dynamics. Well, first I think it’s like, your question is a really important self-reflective one and I also don’t know that I totally have the answer, but I think part of my answer references what you were talking about earlier about like, that level of distance actually allowing more intimacy and vulnerability. Because it’s moving at the speed and the rate and the control that you have. I’m speaking for myself right now that you feel that like, one feels comfortable with. And I think that there was something that like, when I found kink and I found this like leather house that I felt so comforted by, I’m neurodivergent just to be clear, like go going forward in this statement. But like knowing how people were supposed to interact and knowing how when I was showing up as a domme, how I could interact and like what the assumed expectations were that were not explained to me in the same way. And that caused me very intense distress trying to figure them out that I like, couldn’t be present. And then as I stepped into a dominant role and I started off as a switch and like, earned my leathers, but both roles gave me comfort of knowing what I should be doing at any given moment. At least as a starting place. Like I didn’t have to think about the infinite amount of possibilities. It narrowed the scope and I could move from there. I think for me there’s part of being a domme that allows me to like sort of like world build and create the world that I want to see both aesthetically and like, I’m a hedonist, so that’s like, aimed in the direction of facilitating my pleasure and with people who want to please me. Like one thing that I look for in partners/ play partners/ clients is that desire to please and I feel like anything else can be worked around. I don’t have super strong specific fetishes other than like, seeing people’s fetishes as access points into moving them around in my world. Like, I love that vulnerability of someone allowing you into their brain and then allowing it to be malleable and that desire to sort of like, fall as an object in your world for that chance to share space with you. And so I think there’s something that, yes, definitely about power that I feel like I should continually examine more. But I think there’s something also about control that feels slightly different for me that like, so many variables are already decided upon and not necessarily negotiated, but it’s just so many less options that I feel more comfortable stepping into myself and stepping into relationships with other people with those terms already kind of agreed upon and then figuring out less.
Mistress Trinity
I mean I think that, like you said, that kind of having that direction from the start can be very freeing, exciting, whatever. However it really translates. I feel like it is interesting, this differentiation between power and control because I think I’m sort of realizing it’s something I’ve been thinking through lately that I think like, the farther that I get into my practice as a dominant, I actually think in a lot of ways I enjoy having a sense of power and a sense of status in a scene. I don’t really enjoy controlling people actually. I don’t enjoy micromanaging people. I don’t really enjoy that kind of thing. I like people who kind of will willingly learn what I enjoy and acquiesce to it and figure out how to fit themselves in it. And I really, you know… the core of my practice really when we get down to the nitty gritty of scenes, it’s usually about intense physical experience and really somatic play. Whether that’s through bondage, through sadomasochism, whatever. I feel like I use the body to access the mind, not the other way. I almost never start with the psychological. I think breaking down, I think this is also a sort of false binary in our, in our world between like psychological play and physical play. I think the mind and the body are connected and emotion is always sort of… comes up when you’re dealing with the body. But I almost always start with that with the sort of corporeal form of somebody and if we want to unlock a certain emotion that’s usually done in a physical practice.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I think that makes so much sense. I feel like I often will go, will go top down. I feel it depends so much on the person. I feel like whatever they have access to the most or the most control over, go with the other one. It’s like when I was learning to throw a whip and I was having trouble doing a certain throw with my right hand, the teacher’s like, use your left one, the one that you’re less skilled with because you don’t have the same muscle memory of doing it wrong. You don’t have memory of not being able to access the thing that you want to. So you’re freer with your non-dominant hand or like , there’s more possibility with whatever like your, if you intellectualize…
Mistress Trinity
There’s like less to unlearn there.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah. And so I think there’s different approaches that are super effective.
Mistress Trinity
Yeah, for me, I really switched at some point, I think that the first few years when I started professionally domming, I had a lot of interest in psychological play. And it’s not to say that I don’t have interest in psychological play, but I think that the mechanism through which I get there is very, very different than it used to be. I’m usually extremely quiet in sessions. I don’t speak much. And that to me, again, I mean I think this almost loops back to what I was saying in the very beginning, but I do find that again like, removal of stimuli, being able to find something that feels very quiet and very peaceful even in dealing with intense physical sensation. To me even just talking about it, I can like, feel my body respond. That’s really what I seek. And I think that sometimes people get a little bit turned off by it, but if they trust the process, they enjoy it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I can understand that. Well I feel like there’s something about how you talk about your practice that is that monotasking and that I could see like verbalization to be a distraction at some point rather than adding something. Which is interesting, I feel like I get a lot of like, “Mommy, I have trauma” sessions, which I actually like. Which I actually love, like I love those intense… I know some people don’t really enjoy those but I love the intentionality with which my clients and submissives approach wanting to like, touch their wounds in a way that I find really beautiful. And then I also love a meditative session and I also can get really verbal in a way where like, I have no fucking idea what I just said and my partner/ my submissive was going down on me and like, I guess I had my legs like clamped over her ears and she’s like, I had no fucking idea what you were saying, but I’m sure it was hot. And I’m like, don’t worry about it sweetie. I have no idea either. We’ll have to record it next time so both of us can listen back later.
Mistress Trinity
Yeah, I mean I think that that kind of like automatic speech, like I’ve seen that come out…actually Roxanne’s a great example where I feel like whenever her and I double, it’s really fascinating ’cause I’m somebody who communicates so much just with, I feel like my main instrument of communication in a scene is my body and my touch and that kind of thing. Whereas she’s somebody who also has this in incredibly vivid imagination and incredibly vivid description of what is happening in a scene. And I feel like when the two of us play together, it’s like you’re really getting it from all sides. Yeah. But it’s something that, it never, that would never come out of me in that way almost ever. And I don’t know, you know, I don’t really know why that is. I think in some ways, again, for me there’s a relief in not having to externalize myself or my ideas. And I think now I’m going really deep, but whatever, we’ll go there. I was recently having a conversation with my therapist about how I really feel like talk therapy is not working for me and how, you know, I think that for me in the wounds that I carry and how I work through things often there’s such a relief in not having to verbalize and actually being able to just experience catharsis in my body without logic. Yeah. That has, that comes with speech for me anyway. I think I’m somebody that I can have a high level of self-consciousness about what I say and often reflect back on it and like, you know, so I think that for me, I think that the people that I play with, there is still this experiencing of potentially working with trauma or whatever else. I mean it’s certainly not required, but it may come up. But I think that, you know, I actually feel like being allowed to be alone in that or experience that just within yourself without needing to explain, I think that can actually be very therapeutic and yeah, I don’t know. That’s something that I feel like I’ve been thinking about recently.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I feel like it also, like, I think there’s something about being seen and heard in the way that you want and it also sounds like, I don’t know if this is your experience, but it sounds like you’re externalizing something in a way that feels most comfortable and like, to go back to our word authentic for you in a way that you don’t feel like you have to be performing what you think is what is for someone else. You get to be embodied and like, use your body somatically to dominate. And I think that’s such a form of power. But I also think when I was talking about like, sessions going in through the head, if people are in the body or going in through the body, if people are in the head, I feel like it makes total sense and I feel like there’s so much hierarchy of like, talk therapy being the thing to do and it’s like what, you’re not in therapy, like you’re not doing work on yourself or you’re not seeing this like, accredited person who is charging $300 an hour to not tell you you’ll ever get better. But I do think talk therapy and psychoanalysis is like, put on this fucking pedestal of, “this is what you need to achieve like self-knowledge and move with more grace in your relationships” and it’s just like, it does not work for some people and I think it does such disservice how like reified talk therapy is when there are so many different ways to move something in your body and be in relationship with your wounds and your trauma. It just goes back to like, every culture, many cultures I guess I’ll say So I don’t globalize, have like very ancient somatic practices that have nothing to do with talk, whether it be dance or yoga or flagellation, of like, getting something out of the body. Like singing, chanting, things that are so powerful. So I am recovering from long covid right now and the first thing my physical therapist taught me was to remind me how to breathe. So I’m doing like pranayama, I’m breathing, I’m chanting to engage my diaphragm and it’s changing my heart rate and I’m like, I’m also a trained yoga teacher, so I know some of these things, but I think seeing it in practice in a medical context where they like, don’t have more western medical answers, I just feel like there’s so much with the body in so many other ways to do things other than talking that it just makes so much sense that there’s these different styles of domination that different people would be drawn to for the experience that they want. Because I am sure an incredibly verbal domme is going to bring certain people like, out of their head space. And I think, I don’t know, that’s why it’s so interesting having these conversations with people and learning about their different domination styles because I feel like yeah, it’s just so fascinating.
Mistress Trinity
It really is. And I mean, I feel like I want to make a caveat, which is that I feel like both of us are talking sort of about BDSM in parallel with different forms of different practices of mental health care. We’re not insinuating that the two are equal in any way. But yeah, I think that for me again, like allowing for, I always… this is something that I think comes up in my life a lot, but I almost feel like in a power dynamic for me there’s actually a lot of allowance for intimacy with privacy, allowing the two parties to have their own kind of separate experience but that, you know, one sort of balances, the other one necessitates the other. They don’t really exist independently, although they are not bound in the same space, which is interesting to me. And I think for whatever reason really works for me to let go of a lot of my own self-consciousness. And I think for the people that I work with, I think that that’s true as well.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I feel like there are just, there’s so many ways to have sex or like be vulnerable or share space and I feel like we’re taught this very normative way that is just like, also not necessarily accessible or interesting to everyone. And especially like, I really relate to what you’re talking about with intimacy with privacy. I do feel like the boundariedness of the dominant persona is part of what I like about it so much and both being able to move within it and like, transgress it when I want rather than it being an assumption from me that is necessitated for intimacy. I also, like, I actually, I wasn’t necessarily talking about BDSM as a therapeutic practice, right then I was thinking about yoga, but I both agree with you that it is not therapy and we’re not mental health professionals that should not be put on us. And I also know from experience that, you know, BDSM can be incredibly therapeutic and that I have had many clients who have been in talk therapy for years and when something came up with us in a session, it like completely transformed their relationship to their body in a way that analysis had not been able to do. And they took that to analysis and like, continued that work in a way that had felt stymied because if you’re not in your body, there’s only so much talking about it can do. Hitting someone back into their body is honestly a pretty effective tool. I both don’t want to conflate BDSM with therapy, but I also don’t want to undersell it as something that can like, have the profound potential for transformation and healing. Yeah.
Mistress Trinity
I definitely cosign that and I think, I mean, I say this all the time even just within my own journey, but I have found nothing to be as healing as maintaining different physical practices for myself. And I think that, you know, I have my own ways that, for me, certain ways that I like to challenge my body or push my body, it doesn’t come out in my sexual practice necessarily or like in terms of submission, but like I completely, when I see people going through it and craving these deep experiences within that context, I completely understand it and it feels very akin to, you know, different ways that I like to experience my body in different settings.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I feel like it all ties back to like, that ritual and just like… How you want to play with it and how you want to engage with it and is it like in this context or is it in another? And I think there’s something really interesting too of the top down approach of like, you being in film school and it influencing like fetish and how you approach that, and then having a very embodied BDSM practice that sounds like what your photos look like, like this stillness and mono-tasking. And I think that really is interesting to hear you talk about it in detail because I feel like, I don’t know that I would’ve had the language for that, but seeing the photos that you share, I feel some of that in it.
Mistress Trinity
For me it’s interesting because I feel like a lot of this has been, and I feel like this is true of a lot of parts of my life… None of it is really anything that I planned, When I was in school even my focuses were mainly on experimental filmmaking and narrative. But I find myself more and more tied up in projects that involve documentary and that don’t involve any elements of scripting or anything like that, even though that was what I was kind of trained in. So you know, I think that again, I have found myself just kind of pulled towards it and here I am.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Makes sense. Okay. As we wrap up, I won’t ask you another question about Imaginary Trinity as a fascist.
Mistress Trinity
Thank you.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
You’re welcome. But I would love to know if you have any advice for people who are interested in adding photography into their play or like, taking sexy photos for themselves. I feel like it can be so cathartic and lovely to figure out what your angles are and like, get the lighting right. Being able to translate how you see yourself in your head accurately on film or like, something that makes you feel self-conscious in person, like feel really beautiful on camera.
Mistress Trinity
The first piece of advice that I’ll give that I think is an essential, I mean, I think first of all, I feel like this is… I’ve been doing this this whole interview, but I really challenge this binary of like, there’s artists and there’s not artists, right? Like I think that that’s really stupid. But I think people who see themselves on the outside of that dichotomy, I feel like it’s one thing to really understand about anybody who makes anything is that it’s made in the edit. It’s like, 90% of everything that any person will shoot is shit. And that’s what it is. So that’s the first thing to know. Like, just do it and look at it later and allow yourself to be surprised by it later.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It’s that quality that you were talking about of like, feedback, how much,
Mistress Trinity
Right, exactly. So it’s like, you know, I think a lot of times it’s easy to take a few, I think people are maybe becoming more aware of this. It’s like the thing where you want to get a good selfie, so you need to take like a hundred and then you like one, you know, it’s like that is the metric that we’re working with. So I think that, like I actually think that photographing on analog film can be really fun, a really fun exercise for this specifically because you actually cannot look at the results until later. So it forces a separation between you and the product at the end. Because I remember I had this film professor in college and I actually do kind of agree with her, although this is almost impossible to do functionally, where she had a really strict thing where she was like, do not let actors watch playback on set. Do not let them do it because they’ll start thinking about what they look like and that is bad. And again, I don’t, think that, you know, even when someone’s shooting me, I ask to look and you know, it’s kind of, you need to do it, but like show move your hands go like this, this is my angle. Like allowing, yourself as like a human body in that moment to be separated from the whatever you’re trying to create, I think is important. And I also think, you know it a lot of what I shoot. Well, I think a few things. One, investing in a camera that you actually like the look of is extremely important. I still shoot things on my, like I’ll shoot stuff on my iPhone and I almost never post it because I just think that camera, the texture, the tone, all of that, I do not like it. And it something about it, it never has that thing that makes it good to me. So get some kind of visual system that you really like. What is outputting without too much work. And I also think, you know, I think that really like setting and forgetting a camera, letting it run and then being able to just look through it later. Pick an angle that’s interesting. Not necessarily just a wide shot that shows everything. Like make a choice, make a choice, have a point of view. Be like, okay, I want this closeup of, you know, maybe a very limited point of view and let yourself be surprised by the outcome later. A lot of what I post is stills from videos and stuff like that because I don’t always, you know, as much as I do like to photograph my scenes, there is a tension for me in this like stepping between the two roles and sometimes being able to just let the camera roll and know that I’ll probably miss some things, but I’ll probably capture some things I wasn’t even thinking about can be the best approach.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I love that I often, I have one right here with their name written on it, but I often will get disposable cameras for sessions and give it to a client after and have like a kink friendly developer that I recommend them to or like Polaroids. But I think there’s something really nice about like not having that immediate judgment of yourself. And like I also think iPhones are incredibly powerful cameras that look best further than you can hold it from yourself. Like with the like way the like zoom or the lens or whatever is working. Like you actually like want to be like six feet away from an iPhone camera to get like the most flattering angle. And that’s not how we most often use iPhone cameras. So it’s not all, it’s also like just not an accurate representation of what we look like or like how other people see us. And I think that film is also kind of like, much more akin to like a human eye where like not everything is in focus. There’s some nice grain, we’re not like super focusing on one blemish on our face that the iPhone decided to increase the contrast of, or just like, you know, zoom in on or something. And one of my suggestions is also like, work with natural light. Find your best facing window. Find light when the light is good because one thing I love to do on my fan sites is help people take good selfies. Because I’m like, okay, if you’re going to be sending me dick pics, if you’re going to be sending me like…
Mistress Trinity
Beautiful dick pics
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yes! I want to see a fucking gorgeous composition, beautiful lighting, take it before the sun goes down.
Mistress Trinity
That golden ratio going.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Perfect! And like play with natural light. Like I think people really try and get a lot out of nothing, not themselves, but like, you know, a clear background does a lot. Like having a natural… having something well lit does so much heavy lifting and so much is about that. I think you’re so right in that.
Mistress Trinity
Yeah, I think that that would be my main, my main advice. Just do it, basically.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I think there’s something so powerful about taking photos of yourself too and feeling good about them.
Mistress Trinity
The last thing I’ll say, I guess on this point is like, I also think that like challenge, like whatever notions you have of like what taking a sexy photo is like, I think that this is actually a pet theory that I have, which this is actually, I feel like what I hinge a lot of my content on is that, you know, I think that again there’s a lot of really, really hardcore and gratuitous content out there, which is great for its own purpose. But I think also to me, what is actually erotic is often what isn’t seen and what is implied, like how the negative space of what you’re not seeing can actually become the world that the viewer imbues with their own self. I remember I had a new submissive to me once, like tell me that one thing that they really loved about my photos is that they weren’t just photos of me, they were often photos of submissives and the submissives were often almost always hooded and it was easy to see themselves step into that role and into that practice. And I think that that’s something that is interesting because I think a lot of times when we think about marketing ourselves as dommes, as sex workers, it’s like, you know, you think you’re, you think about selling your image, and all of that. But I think that, just as much, I think people are kind of hungry to see an image that looks beautiful and has a thing that they could see themselves in that is lifted up and exalted in a certain way. And I think even in a state of sort of degraded objectification, you can view that with a beauty and a pride. And that’s what I try to do through my photography.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I love that. I mean, what’s more beautiful than degradation?
Mistress Trinity
Nothing,literally.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Perfect ending place. Well if people want to find you and see some of your photography and work, where would they do that?
Mistress Trinity
I post very, very frequently on Twitter, for better or for worse, which my username there is @ServeTrinity. My preferred paid platform is Loyal fans, which is the same username @ServeTrinity. And then I have a contact form with nothing else currently because I’m rebuilding my website. But I’m responsive on my email, which is servetrinity.com. So if you want to inquire about anything that is the right place to do it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Amazing. And if you want to find me Google Mistress Blunt because who knows what platform is going down, for posterity. Thank you so much. This was such a fun conversation.
Mistress Trinity
Yes, thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
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