This one is for the Gooners. Listen in as Valentina Fox and I talk about normal girl things: the rise of gooning in femdom, how we got into female domination, producing mind-altering clips while navigating content moderation, porn addiction and mental health, sissification and female supremacy, and the value of engaging with submissives via clips and fan sites.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Hello everyone. I am Mistress Danielle Blunt. I am a dominatrix with over 15 years experience in both lifestyle and professional domination and content creation. I have really been enjoying having these conversations with other sex workers and people in the kink community and I am thrilled to be here today with Valentina Fox. I would love if you could introduce yourself.
Valentina Fox:
I’m Valentina Fox. I’m a clip producer, dominatrix, primarily online femdom content creator and I love to focus on addiction, gooning, mesmerize, all those categories that are especially big right now. Yeah, I’m so excited to be here. I’ve been a big fan since I started.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Oh gosh, amazing. You mentioned Gooning and it is one of my questions I have to ask for you, so maybe I’ll just start right there. I’m so curious. I tweeted about this a couple of months ago, but I feel like up until a few years ago I had never heard the term gooning and I’ve been working for a while in various forms and it feels like a really new word in community. I love the word, it’s a sexy word. It’s a sexy thing. I actually looked up the definition because I really wanted to chat with you about Gooning, which is defined as ‘a form of masturbation that involves edging, maintaining sexual arousal without reaching orgasm for a long period of time, resulting in a hypnotic trance-like state.’ And I’m so curious as to the evolution of femdom language, and I have some thoughts around if Gooning came into the femdom lexicon because of content moderation from payment processors where you’re not allowed to talk about hypnosis or anything of that type of mind control. I’m so curious if when you started working, were you seeing that word as well or have you noticed any changes on that and how you play with Gooning in some of your content?
Valentina Fox:
Actually, the first gooning clip that I made I think was in 2019, and that one was a request, it was a sub that I was playing with all the time and we were doing gooning sessions, but I hadn’t really heard that term very much then. I understood it, but yeah, I had never had someone request a video with that term. I didn’t really see clips with that word used, but I made that, and that was my first gooning clip in the fall of 2019. I remember immediately that was my bestselling clip at the time and immediately blew all my other clips out of the water. I think it came kind of naturally with my brand because I was always really big on denial and with Skype sessions, them paying for a 10 minute Skype session and then thinking that at the end of 10 minutes they’re going to get to cum. And I love to say no at the end or be like- no, I’d actually rather you keep going. I’d rather you leave with blue balls
At first I feel like, especially when I was a baby domme, sometimes I would question myself on that. I’m like- what they want, especially when you’re newer and less confident… I felt maybe that was the right way to go. But I just feel like I built such a strong relationship with my fans through denial and through continuing the edging session after our session or after their clip binge encouraging them to extend it. I feel like I didn’t fully understand Gooning though until a year later and realized it’s basically just extreme edging, like you were saying in the definition. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard the actual definition of it, but that’s exactly what I had in mind.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’d never looked It up before either. (laughs). Yeah, intense edging I feel like is definitely part of it. I feel like you’re talking about something that I find really interesting of how Dommes kind of find their niche through playing with different subs, and you were talking about how you had this desire to have your subs denied and denied and denied in this perpetual state of erotic denial, but you’re like, oh, as a professional and navigating the role of both customer service and your own dominance is something that I find really interesting and love to hear people talk about, because I do feel like it is a service when people are interacting with a pro domme, but also for those of us who are actually dominant, it’s like this delicate balance of being able to exert and play with our own dominance. And I know for myself, it definitely took me some trial and error to find out what my dominant persona feels like, where it feels like I’m acting in an authentic way that feels aligned with how I move generally through the world, although maybe a refined package of it. And I’m curious what that was like for you as a baby domme, you’re making this content and figuring out what works for you and what works for your clients as well while still being able to do what interests you and what makes you feel dominant.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, I think like you said, it definitely happens over time and as you’re finding your voice, I remember even now when I look back at my first clips, I kind of cringe at the way I was talking. It doesn’t feel as authentically me. I feel like now I’m not really changing my voice much or trying really hard to be anything. Definitely my real personality comes out a lot more and I am a very playful person in person and I love to just tease people. So bringing that more into my femdom style instead of trying to be just “brat” I think was what I was originally going for. Bratty dom, textbook bratty dom. And I guess sometimes my style can be a little bit bratty, but it is definitely a lot more sensual, hypnotic and I love to talk, I love to get to know people. So that definitely comes out a lot in my clips and in my Skype sessions. I love to ask a lot of questions and it is interesting just the more you do this, the less it feels like you’re playing a role and the more it just feels like an extension of yourself.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I was doing a mentoring session with someone who was newer to domming and I was talking a lot about that of how I feel like so many of us- when we first enter the scene where I am playing this specific archetype of the domme, I am playing the brat. For me, I’m playing the old guard classic leather dom who is really invested in high protocol training. And I think it takes a while to actually step into your own dominance of like, oh no, these are the things that I actually like. This is what I like from the archetype that I kind of stepped into femdom doing and this is what I’ll take. This is what I’ll leave behind. Fuck that. That’s totally uninteresting to me and I want to try all these other things. And I think it can be really fun when you really start to step into that because I feel like for me, that’s where I find my power, not when I’m performing a role, but when I’m able to really engage with subs. I feel very similar to you and I love asking submissives questions.
I call it data collection. My background is also in public health. I am a scientist and a researcher and I take the same approach to my style of domination where I’m like, great, you’re just spoonfeeding me information. And I feel like people who really like to play with a more hypnotic, heavy psychological play often have a similar approach of, great, you’re just giving me data. Each vulnerability that you offer to me on a silver platter I will use to bring you further into my web. And I think it’s so fun to be able to find that.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, definitely. Definitely the data collection part.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Well, I’m curious, how did you first find your way into femdom and content creation?
Valentina Fox:
I feel like I had a little bit of a different introduction to it. I actually worked as a makeup artist in New York for a long time before I was involved in the sex work community, or I guess I got involved honestly in the sex work community very young when I was 18 or 19 as a makeup artist. And I was doing makeup for a company who does background services for escorts mostly. They do background checks and then they also do brand building. So they would put together photo shoots. I met a lot of (mostly) escorts, but a few pro dommes. I met Adah Vonn through them and a few other New York dommes and at the time… I moved to New York when I was 18 and I kind of tried to dip my toe into sugaring just because I was getting a lot of attention from older men and stuff when I was going out.
And I feel like I’ve just always known…I have a blog post about it on my website, but my parents are both definitely female supremacists and I was raised in a house where my mom was the boss and my dad would always say things like, “men are stupid, men very easily succumb to beautiful women.” I just kind of grew up with that mindset. So when I moved to New York and was getting all this attention from older, wealthy men, I was like, I know I can do something with this. How can I monetize this? Sugaring was definitely not for me.
It felt even more like playing pretend and having to, I feel like …just shut my mouth a lot when I disagreed with someone because they hold all the power in that dynamic. And that really didn’t sit well with me. And then I started working with this company, I worked for them for a few years and then I started doing makeup for a few of those dommes privately and meeting more and more dommes through that. I went to a few dungeons and did makeup on sissification clients in the dungeon where I was just the makeup artist, but was a part of a session, so I was getting more and more involved in it without being “in it” yet. And then I found the Findom community. I think I first found it in 2016, and I was just like, wow. And that was back when it was like hashtag #paypig, #fuckyoupay me a lot more. (laughs)
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, findom 101.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, a lot simpler…Findom then. And I was just kind of amazed. I was like, wow, this is crazy. This whole community of women is bullying men for money and they’re making a lot of really good money. And I remember I showed this to a guy friend of mine who was more of my first sub (before I realized it). He was always like the friend zoned, bringing me out on dates, me telling him about my dates, and he was in love with me and I was just like, you’re just here to do things, having fun.
So I told him about it. He was like, yeah, I think you would be good at that. Didn’t really have that much of a reaction. And then about a year later, we hadn’t talked very much. He started messaging me asking if he could buy videos of me laughing at him, started to call me Goddess when he was drinking, just more and more. It slowly evolved into playing more and more and I didn’t really know what his fetishes were…obviously he liked to be laughed at. Then he asked me to dress him up one day in panties and a bra, and it just became more and more…he was really into sissification obviously, and it just became more and more play like that. And we played for four or five months and he was like, I want to show you something. He showed me his Twitter, he had like 10,000 followers as a sub, and he was like a pro, like a filming sub. And it all happened because of the conversation we had a year before where I showed him the community and he acted like it was nothing special. He was just like, oh, cool. But it lit such a spark in him. And then it came back to me because we started playing for five or six months. I really liked it. He was like, I think you should have more subs. I think you should get on Twitter. To be honest, a lot of my hesitation was just going fully face out and just putting myself fully out there.
I think that’s one of the biggest obstacles for face out sex workers is that decision to go all in. Then I did that in the beginning of 2019 and yeah, I feel like being in New York definitely helped my starting because I got to meet up with subs a few months in and actually have some play sessions, but it kind of happened through my introduction to dommes as a makeup artist and then also through my personal life and one of my closest guy friends being a sissy, my first sissy sub. (laughs)
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s amazing. I mean, it sounds like you’re like a magnet and they find you, I feel like I was reading some of your website too, and I love reading both Sex Worker Root Stories and Kink Root stories, and I feel like I have very similar background where I was doing all of these things with men that I didn’t have language for, and I was like, well, I’m actually not dating in a traditional way. I’m totally uninterested in it. I really like using men. I like telling other men about those experiences. I like differentiating between who gets what and making sure that hierarchy is very much known. And it was always…denial for me was always what I was really interested in. My earlier domming experiences were convincing people who had girlfriends to cheat on their girlfriend and getting them right to the point that they were about to cheat.
And I’m like, no, they couldn’t possibly, that would be so wrong. And leaving them with blue balls and leaving and going home to masturbate. And I was like, how do you Google that? It took my friend actually seeing it… They were taking a class on human sexuality and the place that I trained at went and gave a lecture there and he is like, Hey, the people you sleep with talk and it would be remiss of me not to tell you about this BDSM training, Chateau where I think you need to go and train. And I was like, okay, thanks. But I had no language for it. I think that’s why I’m so interested in psychological play. It was never the whips and chain or bondage or any search term that I would find. It would be like, oh, this specific dynamic where the woman is using him for her pleasure is what I want. I didn’t know how to search for that because it’s not performance that I’m interested in.
Valentina Fox:
And then you find the names for stuff and it’s just like-wow.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Exactly. I think that’s why I was so excited by Gooning. I’m like, oh my God, a word, a word for the thing! It’s amazing. I still really think it’s because of payment processors though, because we can’t say hypnosis on so many different platforms and on one platform, my name Mistress Blunt is censored to Mistress Smoke, which is just ridiculous. Blunt has so many different meanings, and I’m like, what can we say and what can’t we say? And then I feel like it changes the porn that we’re making and it creates whole new niches of porn because we’re adapting to the content moderation strategies. And I think it’s so interesting watching that take place.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, I definitely agree. For a while I would tag most of my videos as mindfuck and mesmerized, but some of those didn’t feel like they were Gooning clips, but it didn’t feel…I consider “mesmerize” the more… almost hypnosis with lots of meditative kind of spirals in the background. And then Mindfuck, I guess is more the speaking, confusing them, getting them horny, denied, confused, all those things. But yeah, edging didn’t really feel right either because I feel like edging just didn’t last as long. People won’t, like we said, gooning is an intense version of it, so it would be like, no, I want you to do this for six hours tonight. I want you to be in your closet all night long like this.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, really making sure they enter that altered state, which …Right, it’s just like an intense form of meditation.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, exactly. That’s what I think of it as. Yeah, and I used to tag some of my clips, meditative domination. I love that. Gooning is an actual keyword now and an actual category now, and I actually saw that clips4sale just put up that that was their hottest new category of the year: Gooning.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Oh, interesting. I really am fascinated by seeing new words come up. I guess that’s what you get for being the community for so long is you get to see new styles, like newer dommes doing new things and how sexuality is in response to these online platforms, and it just shifts all the time.
Valentina Fox:
I remember “relapse”/relapse fantasy was allowed when I was first making clips, and that was also a big category, and now relapse is not allowed anymore. I would love for them to add porn addiction as a category, but I don’t know if that will happen or not.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’m curious about that too, because I’ve seen some of your 12 step porn addiction clips and I’m very interested in it because I love Taboo Psychological play and also is that allowed on clip sites with addiction? I’m so curious.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, it has been. It’s just not, like I said, it’s not a real category. I tag those things because love addiction is a category, but that’s different. Sometimes I tag it in there on clips4sale, but yeah, usually tag it under ‘gooning’ or ‘mindfuck’. But yeah, I am really happy with how it went over. I was a little bit…I do think of it as kind of taboo. I did follow the exact 12 step program in a bunch of my clips. I’m actually reading from the 12 step book. It’s so hot. Change words out for alcohol.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, well, I mean, okay, so this is also what I was interested in chatting with you about. I’m not a medical professional. I have a background in psychology, but I’m not a psychologist. I don’t know about you, but I like to say that before I talk about anything related to mental health, but in the mental health community, whether porn addiction or not is a thing, is very disputed amongst mental health professionals. And the American Psychological Association actually doesn’t recognize porn addiction as a thing. And it’s usually about your relationship, your social, psychological, cultural, religious upbringing that play a role in your relationship to porn that makes it feel unhealthy, but it is not categorized in the same addictions. And this is something I think about and talk about a lot in general… I’m curious both in your relationship to the fantasy created in your clips and your own personal thoughts around porn addiction.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, I actually read an article talking about porn addiction yesterday and exactly what you were saying, it was by a psychologist talking about how it’s not a recognized addiction and how it triggers different points of your brain than what “real” addictions trigger. It hits the opposite side of your brain, and it was talking specifically about what you said…about how it’s more related to how much shame was put around porn and sexuality and for religious trauma, they’re saying it’s not about how often you’re jerking off or how much you’re jerking off, that carries badly how deep people think they are or bad their addiction is. It’s more about how they were raised and, especially if they have a religious background and they have a lot of shame around it, that makes it even more addictive. And the shame, I talk about that in my clips a lot too, how much shame is a part of it and how isolating the shame part can be. And yeah, I don’t know… because I’ve definitely seen porn ruin people’s lives, and I’ve definitely seen people really abuse it and spiral out of control. But it definitely is different than a drug or alcohol where you’re not going to have withdrawal symptoms or … I feel like it’s tricky.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Because it’s different than a chemical addiction. It’s different than something you need to slowly wean yourself off of or you might die. I definitely think, and I think there’s something, again, not a mental health professional, but have done a lot of reading about the… I guess the conflict between mental health professionals, some of who think that it is an addiction and some that don’t. From my understanding, my personal belief is that there’s so much there that is interpersonal and related to stigma and shame and the desire for closeness. And I feel like love/ porn/ sex addiction kind of get wrapped up in what is really codependency is how I understand it, and those things are all very real, very, very real and very potent. And you’re talking about the more shame that there is or the more isolated that you are or the more codependent that you are, these things can really manifest in ways that really fuck up your life. So it’s not to say that it doesn’t have a very intense impact.
Valentina Fox:
That’s what the article I was reading was saying that it’s not necessarily a diagnosis, it’s more of a symptom of underlying problems. And that a lot of people, especially men, aren’t able to recognize the emotions that they’re actually feeling. So feeling shame or feeling anger for where they’re at in life or just frustration in a relationship that they’re in or not feeling heard and then going to porn to release that. But obviously it doesn’t go anywhere if they’re just dealing with it that way. So it just gets worse and worse and worse and that they’re not really aware of the underlying emotion. I thought anger was an interesting one that was in that article specifically because I have a few clips specifically focused on hate stroking, which is basically mocking porn addiction really intensely and being like… “you say that you hate me, you say you hate women like me, women like me are ruining society, and I don’t deserve to get everything handed to me on a silver platter, and I don’t deserve all this just for being hot, but here you are jerking to it, angry, hating it, but you’re still here, you’re still buying my clips, you’re still paying and you blame me, but this is all you”. And I think that those people especially, obviously that’s anger, they’re frustrated with their life and their relationships. The privilege that they see from women profiting off of it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. Well, I feel like so much of BDSM is also the very real eroticization of something that feels too difficult to process. For me and myself and my experience working with people… Shame is such a huge motivator, and anger and confusion and where your desires run into conflict with your upbringing and your culture or what society says that you should want and shouldn’t want, I feel like really hits that. I think it’s interesting what you were saying about people kind of using porn to self-regulate when they’re unable to articulate their emotions. And there’s this, I feel like I talk about this in every interview that I do when I’m talking to dommes, but there’s this term called normative male alexithymia, which actually is a diagnosis, and alexithymia is the inability to name your feelings or know what they are. So it can create this really confusing and overwhelming experience when you are unable to…. because of how men are socialized in our society, it has become so ingrained in socialization that there’s actually a diagnostic term called normative male alexithymia to talk about the experience of men not being able to name their emotions. And of course, not all men have that, but it is significant enough that it is talked about in psychological fields.
Valentina Fox:
That’s so funny that you bring that up. I was talking about that with my friend yesterday, how interesting it is how many grown men that I’ve talked to that are like, “oh yeah, I don’t know the last time I’ve cried. Like, this really bad thing happened, but I just didn’t…I don’t know, cry or I wasn’t upset. I just kind of moved on”. And then they have a porn addiction or other manifestations of that underlying issue, but they aren’t able to pinpoint it. That’s what the article was saying, that porn addiction can’t be treated the same way that other addictions can be treated. Normal treatment methods are ineffective. And actually the most effective method is having them be able to pinpoint their emotions and where they feel them in their body and what they actually are rather than just jerking off about it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so interesting. Yeah, I feel like jerking off about it is just one thing that you can do. I actually have on my contact form, “one when was the last time you cried?” I always get the most interesting responses, and I actually have a lot of queer clients who see me, a lot of people who aren’t cis men, and I haven’t run the data, but there is a marked difference between cis men and everyone else who answers that question. I feel like it gives you really good data of how in touch someone is with their emotions and how someone is responding to how something feels or says and how close they are to their knowledge of what’s going on for themselves. And it’s something that I found really helpful in the play that I do with people because I do really intense psychological play, so I sort of need to know how disassociated are you from your feelings and was the last time you cried when your dad died 25 years ago?
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, that’s a really good question.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I was taking a look at your contact form too and had some great ones, largely about finance, which I really enjoyed. Yes, give me all of the data, all of the information as soon as possible. It’s good. It’s great. Well, I’m curious, how was it making those clips for you? They seemed really fun. I’m curious about how they sold. I feel like people love a program to go through.
Valentina Fox:
I think I have the final one to release either tonight or tomorrow. But yeah, I had the idea for it a few months ago, and I knew immediately… I was like, this is going to blow all my other clips out of the water. I know this is going to be it. This is going to be what is blowing me up. And it did. I want Clips is my top selling clips site, but step one immediately outsold all of my other clips that had been up for years by 150 sales. Like , blew literally everything else out of the water completely.
I also feel like things were a little bit different when I first started making clips, I didn’t really see people talking about porn addiction as much. I feel like it was… there obviously has always been humiliation, but it was more like, “you’re a loser. You’re pathetic. This is what you do because you’re a loser”. But I feel like some people are afraid to bring up too much of a mirror to it. They don’t want to scare someone away by being like, look how much money you’ve spent. Look how bad this is. And I love to do focus on that and be like, how many hours have you actually spent jerking off? Do you think that’s normal? How many hours are you going to spend tonight? And really rubbing their face in it and being like, no, this is a problem.
This is a serious problem. But the worst part is that you can’t stop. You tell yourself that you’re going to stop and you stay away for a couple weeks and then you come back, you inevitably return. And those were definitely big with the relapse fantasy clips, but once they took that category away, I feel like I’m seeing more porn addiction humiliation and stuff, which is funny because subs just eat that up. The buyers love it, like you were saying. I feel like the more taboo and the more shame is around it, the sexier it is. And obviously every man would be embarrassed to admit a porn addiction, especially publicly. So I think really labeling them as a porn addict and having them identify as that and make that part of their identity too, it just encourages the addiction. And so with the 12 step program, like I said, I did actually follow the real 12 step program, which has been interesting because I’ve had a few people message me. I had one person reach out and he was like, “this is so triggering. I can’t believe you made this series. I actually work in an AA”, in their admin basically pretty high up. And he’s like, “I’ve been on and off recovering for 10 years this clip series is just insane”. He loved it, but he was like, very triggered. And then the evil part in my mind too is now if they actually try to go through the 12 steps for this, it’s not going to work because they’re just going to sexualize it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
(laughs) I love the sadism. Oh my God. I think there’s something too about…this is the kick that I’ve been on, is that humiliation is really about being seen in a way that you feel is honest. And I hear that in what you’re talking about of I can call you a loser. I can do a big ‘L’ in front of my forehead and see how that makes you feel. But if you want to go deeper beyond what just the tropes are, you kind of have to get into more niches. And I think that that reflexive practice of holding a mirror up to someone and be like, no, this is what you’re doing. This is who you are. You could be there fucking your wife, but instead you’re watching this 12 step porn addiction video and you can’t stop. How many times are you watching it over and over again? I think there’s something about that clip series that really does a phenomenal job of holding up the mirror to someone.
I come from a background in filmmaking and psychology, and I used to be the videographer for a very, very (I say this endearingly) a porn company. It was very intense. I couldn’t eat eggs for six years after one of the photo shoots. There was just so much going on there. And so I kind of have a storied relationship with filmmaking where what I like doesn’t really sell based on the amount of labor I like to put into the more artistic ones. I have this really beautiful clip that I love called The Fetish, where I go into unpacking some of the psychoanalytic components of the fetish.
Valentina Fox:
Oh my God, that one.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Have you seen?
Valentina Fox:
Yes. You sent that to me when you tweeted about it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It was so fun to make, but I’m like, that took me- I thankfully had a patron who funded it because it took me three months to make. And I’m like, that just doesn’t work when you’re selling clips. And so my relationship to content making is: I go through phases where I’m really into it and I go through phases where I’m like, wow, I hate working so much. I just don’t want to do this. And I think I’m always taking content, but the sitting down to film a clip really works best for me when I’m inspired by a submissive. And actually, I used to have an ex-boyfriend who I turned into my cuck who would film some of my content, and that was always my bestselling content of being able to talk to the camera or even when he wasn’t there.
I have this ex-boyfriend series that kind goes through a similar arc of the breakup to turning you into my cuck. And I think there’s something about being able to establish a more personal relationship, rather where it feels like you’re actually talking to them rather than they’re just watching porn. And I think that’s something that I love about being able to chat with my subs on fan sites and stuff like that is because I like that data, because I like that information. I really love getting to know someone so I can get into their head. And when I have those types of dynamics that can kind of feed the content that I’m making, it just always goes so much better for me. I don’t love talking to, I really need to conjure someone up in my head and feel like I’m talking to them for it to go as well as I’d like to. And I’d love to hear a little bit about how you run your clip business and what goes into making a clip for you and your relationship to clip making.
Valentina Fox:
Definitely what you were saying. A lot of my clips are inspired by my submissives and sessions or relationships that I have with them or stories that they’ve told me. I had one of my close subs, he tried to pay an escort to lose his virginity 20 years ago, and she was basically kind of realized that he was a loser, I guess, and realized maybe she was a little bit familiar with that type of man, but she took his money and was like, I’m not going to, you’re gross. You’re disgusting, you’re a loser, whatever. And I think a lot of them have a lot of common fantasies or common experiences. So then saying, one of my subs experiences, it’s always funny how many other subs then message me or email me and they’re like, oh my God, it’s crazy. This is like you’re talking to me. It’s like you know me. But I’m just talking about another sub who’s similar.
I definitely also struggled with this situation where I love to be creative. I love to have these really amazing role play ideas and then try to act them out. Or like I said, I worked as a makeup artist for a while, so one of the first clips I put so much effort in was it was kind of like an evil succubus kind of thing. So I start the clip and I look really cutesy and I have a little sundress on, and I’m just a nice girl. And then I think it was a blackmail clip. It was so long ago, and then it switches to my face with special effects, like scary makeup, bloody, scary, and I loved it, It wasn’t very popular with my fans.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
You sometimes still have to make the clips that are just for you. Yeah.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. There’s definitely been a few that I put a lot of time and effort into, and then they just didn’t really sell at all, versus when I just do a more simple one that’s inspired by a sub and everybody eats it up, that’s something I definitely have learned this year and that has really helped my growth as a clip creator is just giving people what they want and creating more content. What I have that my fans so much, like I said, I created my first Gooning clip in 2019, and it was immediately my bestselling clip at the time, and I don’t know why it took me so long to hone in on that. I don’t know. I was just ignoring my data for a while. I feel like “well, I think this will be good”. Instead of looking at all the numbers and I’m like, well, this is what my fans actually like to see from me.
So for myself, I’m just honing in on three or four categories usually. So when I’m planning my clips, I usually do three or four clips a week, so usually try to hit one of those categories each week. And then also, I think one of my fears too with that was that they were going to feel repetitive, but I realized that doesn’t really matter. If they like it and they’re still eating it up and they’re still wanting more of that content, then why should I try to change it up or try to…if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Totally. People really, I feel like…know what they want. Also, when you make more and more of a specific niche, people will be coming to you and finding you because of that.
Valentina Fox:
And I see that with myself with my own content consumption. I love those people on TikTok that do the little comedy skits, and a lot of times they’ll have one or two characters that they do over and over that I really like, and I’ll go to their page and I’ll just watch all of the videos of those specific characters that I like, and I’m like, well, I know this is what people are doing with my stuff as well. They’re coming to my page and they’re like, okay, I want gooning and porn addict content, so I’m going to look up all of her videos that have this, because I don’t really do much foot fetish, cuck stuff, things like that. I feel like when I first started making content, I tried to do everything. I wanted to cast my net as wide as possible, but I’ve definitely realized that you do get, and like you said, a lot more clients that are similar coming to you when you actually niche yourself and when you stick to a few categories, which also just makes sessioning easier. Then I know my clients are pretty predictable. They have a lot of similarities, so they’re a lot easier to understand than having so many spread out niches.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, I think too, I think of clip making as advertising marketing. I mean, I don’t have, my business isn’t coming from clips. It’s like if someone, I think it’s a very different way to engage with online work that we have, but I think of it a lot as marketing and putting out, I think that this is all my social media of what will I get back from this? What energy am I putting out there and what is going to come back to me and what will it manifest? And I think it’s been really helpful to be very specific of the subs that I want to interact with, and then thinking about from there, what content I want to make to funnel them into me.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, I used to focus a lot on sissies, I think because that was my first real introduction to kink was with a sissy. And because I’m a makeup artist, it just felt like it naturally kind of went hand in hand with that. And I’m like, oh, I love to feminize. I’ve done a lot of makeup on men. I love doing drag makeup and actually feminizing people, so I was like, oh, this is perfect. But most of my experience was terrible with sissies. I did not like that customer base. And so a few years ago I did a 180, stopped making sissy content, stopped posting for sissies. My little slogan at the time was Tease, deny and sissy. I just had so many sissies for a while and just realized that that’s not the customer base that I was really enjoying anymore. And some of them were good, but most of them were just not my favorite, not good experiences. And then I realized, I just prefer gooners and people that were really into edging and really into denial and pushing their own limits to see how far they can take things like that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I feel like people have such mixed experiences with sissification clips. I know I’ve written a lot about gender and gender play and exploring the limits and constraints of gender through BDSM relationships and through play. I’ve found that a lot of people who come to me now for gender play or sissification are less interested in the humiliation aspects and are more interested in exploring, having an avenue to explore their gender. And I get a lot of people who are on some trans continuum or are exploring their gender in some way and feel more able to be sexual when they’re feminized because it’s more aligned with their gender presentation. And I find that to be really, really fun, but one of my hard limits is humiliating someone for wanting to be a woman. It’s great. I don’t know what there is to really humiliate you about other than your own humiliation.
You can be humiliated by your own existence, fine by me. But I think someone said to me, a sub said to me the other day that women these days just don’t understand how humiliating it is for a man to want to be a woman. And I’m like, I think I can understand that. I feel like it has kind of shifted and I really enjoyed the deep psychological play with people who are interested in experimenting with gender of it’s holding up that mirror. It’s like, what are you so ashamed of? What about this? What about wanting to look like me? Do you find so humiliating that you don’t know how to dress yourself, that you don’t know how to do your makeup?
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. And then a lot of it we were talking about is probably just shame from upbringing or religious shame. Yeah, I love those kinds of clients. I used to have a few long-term clients that I think were actually trans women that just weren’t living that life out, but those were my favorite kinds, they weren’t coming about humiliation. More just wanting a safe space to wear pantyhose and to dress up and feel sexy and rather than just humiliating them for looking feminine or for feminine traits that they think they’re acting out. But I also do think of it as fishing, like you said, I think of all clips and content, everything you put out I feel like is kind of casting a line and fishing and because even when my clips sell really well, the majority of my income comes from one-on-one interactions from subs that I might pick up from my clips. And that’s definitely been big too. It’s something I tell people that are newer or more unsure of their content is you have to think exactly of what kind of submissive you want to attract and what kind of client you want to be dealing with and making content that is going to attract those kinds of clients. And then posting yourself as many places as possible to cast as many lines as you can.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Totally. I feel like it’s something that can be so overlooked too, is just how one client, one submissive can radically change your income in a crazy way. And I think about that a lot. I don’t want to be dependent on one submissive for my income, but also just knowing that what you’re putting out there can bring that in, I think is really helpful too. And I think it’s helpful to hear clip makers talking about, oh, most of my money is coming from what the clips have brought to me rather than the clip payment hitting my bank account. And I think that’s true for so many people, and especially people who are not on the top one hundred list who still do very, very well.
Valentina Fox:
Definitely.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’m curious about, you talked a little bit about growing up in female supremacy household, and I’m curious how that plays a role in your work and your perspectives of femdom.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. I feel like I am definitely a female supremacist through and through. I say that in my normal life. I say that to every man that I’m dating when, because a lot of men now will bring up, “oh, she’s a feminist”, or things like that. I’m like, yeah, I’m not a feminist. I’m a female supremacist. There’s a difference. Yeah, I’ve always thought women are better leaders. And I’ve always kind of shown that really early on. My mom was the boss. My parents worked together. My mom was the boss at work, my mom was the boss at home. And just not that I think that men, I think a lot of, especially vanilla men, when I say that, they’re like, oh, so you hate men? I’m like, no, I don’t hate men at all. I think men have their place. Also, I just think women are better leaders and I think women are better at multitasking and they’re more empathetic and just generally stronger leaders.
I think men can get really overwhelmed having a lot of tasks and just not really knowing what to do or where to start. I think having a woman guide them and give them direction of, if you do this, this, and this, you’re good. And if you do this, this and this, you’re bad. Just really simplifying it in that way for them is really helpful because I think men are useful, and I think men do have their place, but I think that men are much better at carrying out instructions rather than being the one making the decisions and being the one giving the instructions. And I think that the main argument for a long time has been against female supremacy or against female leaders has been that women are more emotional. One- I think that’s because a lot of people don’t consider anger an emotion, which is how most men react to things. And also because, but I also think it’s a strength. I also think being an empathetic person makes people a wonderful leader and being more emotionally in touch with yourself.
I see that a lot. I have quite a few subs who are in positions of power or are in the military or other things like that, that are very rigid and just how much they like that and how much they like a simplified like, oh, women can be so confusing. I hate when I’m dating a girl and I don’t really know what she wants or how to make her happy or blah, blah, blah. And so I think femdom relationships can be so helpful, just making it very black and white for them. If you do X, Y, Z, you’re a good boy. You’re going to get a pat on the head and a little reward, and if you do X, Y, and Z, you are bad and I will be displeased with you and this will happen. And just having that laid out for them very clearly instead of passive aggressive. But I think for women to be better leaders, they have to step into their power and be aware of that and communicate directly rather than the passive aggressive thing that I think a lot of women do in normal relationships.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think stepping into your power is profound, and I definitely, well, I think it goes back to the alexithymia conversation that we were having of- women are conditioned or allowed to be with their feelings and not have them overtake them. I think for me, I don’t identify as a female supremacist mostly just because…I think I am supreme in all of my relationships (laughs). And I think for me, it comes from, I’ve kind of had an evolving relationship with what I want and why I want people to surrender to me. And for me, where I’ve gotten in my dominance and my journey is I want it to be for a reason. I want people to surrender to me because of something specific about me. It’s another question I ask on my website is: What specifically about me brought you here? And I feel like that that’s a really important question to me because I actually find it a kind of turnoff when I’m being fetishized in a specific.
way that I find some of the like, oh, any woman will do. Which I think is very different than you being a female supremacist versus one of your submissives being like, ah, a woman. And finding that. And I think how I navigate my relationships, because I am a woman, I am supreme because that is who I am and what I’m bringing to it. But I feel like really it’s deepened my relationships a little bit just because of my own relationship to power of being worshiped for something very specific about me that no one else has. And being able to connect with submissives who are specifically interested in that, I think has been really helpful. And I think you of course can find that with people interested in worshiping at the altar of women, which I’m sure is most of my clients as well. But I think I just got tired of being fetishized, of being put in a box and being fetishized, and that I really just went the other way with it.
Valentina Fox:
I definitely get that. I hate when a sub approaches, and it feels like they’re just looking for…maybe they sent this message to 10 other dommes, or maybe they’re just looking for the fastest response that day. It’s so icky rather than someone approaching and saying “hey, I followed you for so long. I really love this. I’ve seen you do this. I’ve seen this. I think you’re so amazing for this”. It’s so much more special when it’s like that than “I’m looking for a mistress to serve”.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Right? Yeah. And then it becomes…I feel like I help subs take this seriously because I do think it’s something that I hear from so many dommes of not really being interested. It’s like, sure, I’ll take your fucking money if you want me to. If you’re just throwing money at me and are obsessed with my tits or obsessed with my feet, great. I don’t have a problem with that. I’m not going to say no to that kind of money, but if you want to develop a D/s relationship with me, it has to be about something about me specifically that spoke to you that inspired your submission. Not just like you’re sitting there jerking off and I’m the first person that you see, and hopefully I’m the first person who responds to you. And I do feel like it is always the people doing that who are like, I want to live in your basement Mistress. Please can I live in your basement? Oh, sorry, you didn’t respond fast enough. I’m now going to go live in someone else’s basement. It’s just wild to me.
Valentina Fox:
Before they’re like, well, actually so-and-so already took all my money and now I don’t want to talk to you. Hey, you probably send out 10, copy and paste the same things, and then Yeah, whoever responds first.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah, very different. And I wonder too, so I feel like it sounds like you do a lot of one-on-one Skype stuff and connect with clients, and I do as well. And that’s definitely my preferred form of dominance. It is how I actually feel most dominant is when I’m engaging with someone that I can be dominant towards and their submission feeds my dominance and that kind of interplay. I think Ds for me is very interrelational, and I find sometimes making clips to be hard to convey that. But I’m curious, how do you navigate that for yourself? You talked a little bit about the custom clips that you make that really have a wider audience, but how have you changed in what you’ve been producing as a clip artist to be more aligned with your own dominance and what your interests in?
Valentina Fox:
I think I also definitely very much feed into the parasocial relationship stuff in my clips. I will get really close to the camera or put my hand under it like this and pretend I have their face and talking to them like that and being like, this is so special what we have. You’re never going to be able to replicate this. You can’t find this feeling anywhere else. I say a lot of things like that in my clips, and I think that that really feeds into that as well. And just making them feel like there is a connection even if I haven’t talked, even if I haven’t spoken to them yet. And I get a lot of messages like that from people that are like, I’ve been watching your clips for years. I feel like we have a relationship even though I’ve never spoken to them.
I also love to use clips within sessions. A lot of the times when I’m playing with a sub online, especially if it’s going to be a video response session or something like that, I’ll have them get a few of my clips first and watch my clips first to get into that subspace more. I think especially my clips that have a lot of the spirals and more mesmerizing aspects are really effective tools for them. When I’m sessioning with them or even on Skype, I’ll have them, we’ll be Skyping from their phone and they’ll be playing videos of me in the background on their computer. I love to just use my clips like that and just kind of feed the parasocial relationship that they have with me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s fun!
Valentina Fox:
I also kind of use it to gauge subs if we are going to session and I’ll tell them three clips that I want them to go get, then asking them which one was their favorite and why did they like that the most? And then that kind of gives me more of a sense of what they actually want, I think some subs aren’t very good at explaining what they like when I ask them their kinks, they’re very general. So then when I’m like, okay, well what about this video? Was it the outfit? Was it how I’m talking? Was it that I’m so close up to the camera, why? I definitely use them also for research like that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think it’s market research. It’s very helpful. Have you ever made a Parasocial clip? I feel like that would be really good and could be really dark where it’s like, you think I know everything about you, but I don’t even know that you exist. You don’t exist to me. And here you are spending eight hours a day watching my videos.
Valentina Fox:
And I’m such a huge part of your life.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s amazing that you can conjure that. Like, “you’re just a notification for me”.
Valentina Fox:
Exactly. You’re just another sale for me, and then I am your whole day.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah (laughs), it’s hot. I do feel like so much of it for me is what are the very specific ways that we can make that power dynamic explicit rather than moving from the femdom tropes, the classics, which I think are very effective for a reason. There’s a reason so many people are triggered by the same specific things, by the fuck you, pay me, by the ‘L’ for loser. But I think that’s what’s so cool and so special about some of the more involved clips that you’re doing with the porn series clips is that it really, it’s on something specific that feels deeply personal for people. And I think even when we’re talking about porn, I think something that’s so cool with OnlyFans and fan sites is that now you can talk to the performers that you’re seeing. Whereas before, it was entirely an isolated experience when people were just watching porn on tube sites or buying clips. And I think there is something that really kind of disrupts that more solo experience of being able to engage with your favorite performers. That I think is really, really interesting.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah, I really love it. I love the idea, especially with fan sites. I don’t always love how much people expect for what they’re paying for a month, but I love that you are able to interact with them. And hear feedback from people or their favorite clips or just, yeah. I get a lot of messages from fans that have, I guess been lurking for a long time and they’re like, I’ve always loved these clips or this clip and it is really nice for me, hearing that feedback too and seeing what tends to be the favorite or what’s sticking with people the most or, yeah… it’s crazy too the longer you’re online, the more content people have of you. People sending you photos of yourself from five years ago and you’re like, wow, I don’t even have those photos.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s hilarious. You’re like, thank you. Please archive that for me.
Valentina Fox:
(laughs) I’m like, Wow! Okay.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I just had a submissive send me an archive of all of my content. My executive functioning was not made for…part of the reason I started doing sex work is I am not built for nine to five and the dommes who do clip production are always releasing new clips. I’m just always inspired by and I just don’t have the organizational skill to do that full time and I had one of my subs built a bot and sent me an archive of all of my clips with a spreadsheet that was automatically made with all of the tags for all of it and all of the descriptions for it, including just 30 second audio notes that I’ve sent out and I was just like, wow. That felt good to me about D/s, that personal relationship where I’m like, you are literally giving your executive functioning towards my success. That was incredible, but there was so much stuff in there that I had no idea existed once I sent it.
Valentina Fox:
Those data kinds of subs are my favorite. I had one sub this year… He has barely even paid me, but he studies the clip sites. He studies I Want Clips. Clips4sale especially, and studies the trends of the category studies. He documents every top selling clip every single day. He must be tracking so many people because I’ve seen him respond to domme’s tweets. One of my friends recently posted…I forget how many, but she was like, oh, I released this many clips this year, and he replied to it and was like, yeah, it looks like you have a schedule too. And he posted a calendar has X’s for the whole year on each day that she released a clip throughout the whole year, he is like, you’re almost at a hundred. It is just crazy. And he sent that to me as well of my own data. And then he also sent me what my best categories are really top selling.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s amazing.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. I was like, wow, I love data subs. Yeah. He even told me on clips4sale, he’s like, you should actually go back and tag these videos under Gooning so that you have more under the gooning fetish because these categories aren’t really doing things for you. It’s just crazy. Like, wow, there are some people who are really tracking everything.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s how you put your porn addiction to good use (laughs). Let’s just say.
Valentina Fox:
That is useful.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
(Laughs) it’s full circle. Yes. I love that. That should be like step 13 is like, now track your porn habit and send them to me so that I can analyze the data.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. Actually, that was one of the steps I said for them to keep a log of how much jerking off they’ve been doing. I have an email dedicated to it, and that email is just flooded with confessions, time jerked off. That email is crazy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s hilarious. Oh my God, that’s so fun. The interactive component.
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. I think that’s another thing. I was going to say, going with the Parasocial thing, a lot of my clips do have a call to action as like, I want you to tell me the most you’ve ever jerked off in a day. Send me an email to this email. I want to know how many hours, what’s the hardest you’ve gone or I want to know one of the steps for the Porn Addiction series was I want you… to a big focus of AA, and so porn addicts Anonymous is taking responsibility for everything that your addiction has done to your life and to anyone else’s life. And so one of the steps is being honest with yourself about how many people you’ve affected through your porn addiction. So I had them write me an email being like, these are the people I’ve hurt with my porn addiction, my ex-girlfriend, my friends who I bail on all the time, or my boss because I don’t complete/ get deadlines done because of my porn addiction. Those things are really interesting too, but I think also having the call to action is just further solidifies the clip in their head.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I think you for that matter too, I think there’s, encouraging people to have a parasocial relationship with you is an art form of influencers and content creators, and I do think that ability to send those messages, and also it is this very interesting dynamic. I love the call to action of confession because it is also sharing a vulnerability that then is shared with you. It is a great idea to be able to have that, and I’m sure you also have so much data to analyze and clip ideas from there too (laughs).
Valentina Fox:
Yeah. Some people really wrote diary entries confessing their whole story (laughs).
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s amazing. Well, I feel like we’re around when we said we’d wrap up this conversation, but I feel like I could continue talking to you, especially now that we got into data analysis. But I’d love to know if there’s anything else you want to mention or where folks can find you.
Valentina Fox:
My website is Ineedvalentina.com. That’s definitely the best place with all my info. I guess as far as anything else, oh, to vote for me for the Xbiz…I’m up for Clip Artist of the Year , so that’s exciting!
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing!
Valentina Fox:
Voting ends, I think January 20th. And I’m releasing my final step of porn Addicts Anonymous, I think, within the next two days.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing! I hope people, I’m sure people will enjoy it and will become further addicted to you. And if anyone wants to find me, I’m at bluntlinks.com. It’s so lovely to chat with you.
Valentina Fox:
Really nice to talk.
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