A thoughtful and engaging conversation with Dasha Bond about virgins, bespoke humiliation, altered states of Topspace, how “pegging” is sex, and of course, everything MOMMY.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Hello, everyone! I am here today with Dasha Bond. Dasha, I would love if you would introduce yourself.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Sure! I am Dasha Bond. I am a professional dominatrix. I mostly session in New York City. I’m also a content creator and sometimes fetish model.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Amazing. I think one of my favorite things that we have in common is that we are both hardcore mommy dommes. I’d love to start by asking you- what does being a mommy domme mean to you and how does it inform your domination style?
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes, actually it’s exactly how I describe my domination style. I always say I’m a mommy domme. I think what it means to me is this beautiful marriage of nurturer, disciplinarian, coercive figure and also seductress. And when you put all those things together you just have this dominant figure who you want to take care of you and also ruin your life.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I mean that’s what a mother’s job is, right? It’s like a little bit of care and a little fuck you up for life.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
The perfect archetype. I feel like there is such a sweet balance between nurture and torture, it feels like a very subtle type of torture. I feel like mommy dommes can be more…you know, where it’s not just the nurturance time, “oh, you’re my baby boy and I’ll give you whatever you want”. I don’t think that’s either of our style, but the deep psychological play that can really come into effect because no one fucks you up like mommy fucks you up. Let’s be real. Everyone’s down to call their partner Daddy like 10 years before they’re calling their partner mommy.
Mistress Dasha Bond
It’s true. It’s become such a trend. And the thing is though I remember like this is something that really spoke to me. And so when I started seeing other people doing it, I’m like, “You’re doing it wrong. That’s not how you do it.” You have to be both. And it’s so intrinsic to me. It’s just who I am, and I love it. No matter how hard I try, I can never turn off this nurturing side of me. But at the same time, I have just a deep insatiable sadist inside of me as well. It’s both.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I love it. I mean, get you a mommy who can do both. I am totally just picturing you now as, like, a mommy at the dominatrix park, being like, “I would never treat my son like that. That’s not how you treat a baby. That’s not how you treat a little one.”
Mistress Dasha Bond
Honestly, I’m always thinking about that too. Power dynamics are always in my mind, always. And anytime I see anybody else or I’m seeing other people dominate people, I’m like, “That’s not how I would do it.” You know, I would get them, like, I would really get them hooked. You know, you got to really get them latched on. You have to seduce them. And then all of a sudden, you just hit them where it hurts. Like, right when they’re as turned on as you can possibly get, you know, mommy takes over.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
In this household, we breastfeed for life.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly. I mean, listen, we both have pretty big boobies, right?
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It works. I’m curious. Do you remember the first time you were called Mommy, or the first time you heard “Mommy” as a thing.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I was having a threesome. I had just turned 18 maybe like, a week prior to that. There was no established power dynamic, nothing like that. All of a sudden,we’re starting to kiss, and then they just both look up at me with these puppy dog eyes, it was so natural. And they started calling me Mommy. The whole thing was just so kinky, you know, we didn’t really communicate any of those things, probably because we were all young, but there was already sucking on toes, pegging, anal, and these two subs calling me Mommy. It was really beautiful. I remember leaving that threesome and I was like, “I guess I’m Mommy.” Yes, that makes sense. It just made me feel really good. And ever since then, I was like, I’m Mommy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Amazing. I feel like, because it came to you so early, and I think mommy is something that came to me a little bit later. I started playing with daddy archetypes. And it felt fun and interesting, but it didn’t really, it didn’t resonate with me the same way. I like daddy because of what it did to other people. And I like mommy for like what it does for me. It feels like much more aligned with my sexuality. And for me, I can go both ways, because I’m also very interested in power. And if there’s a specific thing that gets into a submissive’s head, I am down to go pedal to the metal, let’s see how fucked up this makes you. But mommy is just so near and dear to my heart. What I think I love most about it is how eager my little ones are to please mommy in a way that wasn’t the same with daddy. You know, they want attention from daddy, but it’s not pleasing daddy in the same way. And so how eager they are to please and what they will do and just how fucked up that divine attention from mommy makes people, I think is just such a beautiful way to explore power dynamics.
Mistress Dasha Bond
It is. And honestly, it ends up becoming more perverted, which I love. I do love daddy, but it’s a different feel. And I feel like it’s only part of what mommy is. So I feel like you’re always… missing something.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Mommy is everything.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Mommy is everything. Daddy’s just hard, and fucks you hard, and you know, it’s just a little less sensual to me, but I feel powerful for sure. But even if I’m meeting someone and they immediately start referring to me as Mistress or Goddess, I don’t feel the same enthusiasm or eagerness as someone who immediately comes to you as Mommy. It’s so sweet. And you see the change. When someone refers to me as mistress, a lot of times they can be straight faced, maybe they’re not actively turned on. But if someone calls me Mommy, they’re doing puppy dog eyes, they’re already there. They’re slowly already entering subspace. It’s just so beautiful, and the dynamic is so… established already. I already know I have them hooked, and that’s what I love about it. But with Mistress, or Daddy even, it feels just a little bit less intimate to me. But I love also just going all in. If something really turns someone on, I’m immediately going to go in that direction because I also love finding those little things that get someone. And sometimes, you know, subs don’t communicate that one thing or they don’t even know what it is themselves yet. And then you start to find it. An you’re like, “that’s the direction. That’s the path I’m going to take.” Because now, they’re going to think about this forever.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Oh my God, this is reminding me. I did this scene that turned into an interrogation scene, which was not how it set out. I feel like with 99% of the people that I play with, I can find that connection. I can find that hook. And this was just one person that I’m like, “oh, all of my tricks are not working. And I don’t know why”. Because based on their inquiry, we should be so, so aligned. I had this moment of thinking, “I’m not saying the right thing, and he’s not going to tell me what it is.” And it turned into an interrogation scene where I was like, “okay, listen, I get that you want me to be a mind reader. You want mommy to read your mind, but there’s something you have to tell mommy, because I’m not wasting my time playing this fucking game with you. You’re going to give me the information that mommy wants so that mommy can use it in the appropriate way to dole out punishment.” And after five minutes of interrogation, he said the word, which- it must have been “whore” I was calling him “slut”, but “whore” was a word that, within 30 seconds after saying the word, the scene completely shifted. It was transformative. And I’m like, well, if you know the word, if you know your things, if you know it’s shoes and the word slut, give someone that ammo. It’s for both of your benefit.
Mistress Dasha Bond
It’s really important to find those things out. And I can’t even- I mean I can, I can very much imagine the frustration you were feeling when that happens, because if there’s ever a time that I’m doing something where I’m like- we’re not bonding.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Mommy wants to bond! Mommy wants to be close!
Mistress Dasha Bond
It’s like, “mommy’s not bonding. What is wrong?” I get so angry inside, and I’m very, you know, calm and collected, so the second that I realize it, I’m like, we’re switching. That’s not working. You’re not telling me something. And I feel the exact same way. I actually had someone recently, though, they gave me this little bit of ammo of, because they love sissification, the name that they used was someone that they had a crush on that rejected them.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Oh, hot!
Mistress Dasha Bond
And I was like, the fact that you can give that to me, like, this is perfect. Humiliation, for example, it just doesn’t work, in my opinion, if you don’t know this person well. Otherwise, you know, you’re calling them names or whatever and it’s like, sure, that can be maybe a turn on, but if you want me to hit you where it hurts, we’re going to have to get to know each other and you’re going to have to trust me. And it was such a beautiful session. He’s actually a virgin of mine, I get a lot of virgins, and I love them.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I feel like you just hit on something that I find so interesting and is such a deeply held belief of mine that humiliation only works if it’s real. And sure, you can jerk off while I’m saying these canned responses from femdom POV porn. But, like, if you want to be altered, if you want to be changed, if you want to never be the same in your life and transform, you have to be vulnerable. You have to get to know someone, and you have to share that information in a way that can be wielded like a weapon. And I think that humiliation, the best humiliation that I’ve done in scenes has been with people who see me over and over again and who have built that trust and that it’s personal. I actually, I just had a very sweet submissive who requested a custom humiliation clip. She’s like, “I want to watch this over the weekend when I have time to recover, so I can have a full breakdown. And you’ve known me for two years. Do your worst.” And I’m so excited. to Make this custom, because it’s going to be devastating in a way that canned humiliation never will touch on. Because humiliation, I feel like, is so based on our lived experiences, which are so diverse and so unique to an individual. So, what I say to one person isn’t going to even touch another person.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes!
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Whereas with this person over here on my left, it could ruin their life.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly. It’s a really beautiful thing. And there’s nothing to me that’s more important than really cultivating my relationships with my subs. And I think it comes back to me being a mommy domme. But it doesn’t matter if I’ve known someone for only a couple days or if I’ve known them for years. If there’s ever a time where I’m like, “oh, I’m not going to be the right person for them”, or if they stop talking to me, it really does make me a bit sad. I can obviously regulate my emotions and move on, but I really do have this deep care for my subs. And I think the only way that you can make this beautiful scene is if you get to the point where you know them so well that they feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable. And then you has this ammo. They love it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Right, like the archetype of mommy, or “mother”, maybe more like mother is you come home, you’re there for 15 minutes and your mother says the most devastating thing and you’re like “I’m never going home again”, in a way that only mommy could do.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
And it’s just because she wants to feel close to you! (Laughs)
Mistress Dasha Bond
I know. It’s so sweet though. Nothing makes me happier than someone- when I’m realizing that they’re starting to be vulnerable with me and they say something really important and I’m like, “I’ll keep that for later”.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, our mommy spank bank is just like little pieces, little morsels of information that you revealed when you were vulnerable and didn’t even realize it. That we’ll take out months later to come back and get you.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I love that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
One of my submissives works for a large tech company, and I always tease him about like built obsolescence and about how I make him use his competitors’ tools being like, “Oh, it’s just better designed,” you know? And he’s like, “This is so specifically painful.” (laughs)
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah, I mean, you can’t get better. And that’s- I think a lot of the times just so natural to us as well is getting this streak of creativity coming out of nowhere, which I think other people are just not as good at doing. And you’re like, “oh, that’s really important for you. How can I use it against you?”
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I love that that’s how both of our brains work. You’re like, “Oh, thank you for sharing.” Mommy will put that away for later.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I mean, listen, I have a Slavic mother, so I feel like I’m very qualified.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Amazing. One thing you said is that a lot of the people who see you are virgins, and I would love to hear you talk a little bit about that.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Sure. Yeah. They’re just some of my favorite people to play with. Also, I feel like it means a lot to me when someone comes to me and they have had virtually no intimate experience, and they have taken the time to really research and find someone who they think will be really compatible with them. I also think there’s something so hot about someone being like, “I am waiting. I realized I am so into femdom, and I need to make sure that my first experience is good,” because I’m like, you’ll get the best experience of your life. And it’s like, you’ll spend the rest of your life chasing that, and I love that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
You want to have a good first sexual experience too.
Mistress Dasha Bond
And I’m like, your first, like, any kind of experience is me? I am so honored, honestly.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I definitely thought you were going to say, “I’m so happy for you.”
Mistress Dasha Bond
That too. I’m like, I’m jealous. I wish I was mine.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
The dream.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly. I’ve definitely masturbated to that thought. But the one thing that I love the most about them is just how much of a blank canvas they are. And I think about conditioning a lot and getting them to have these particular ways that they’re going to go into any kind of sexual intimacy from there on being like, “Oh, but Dasha kissed like that.” Like, I love that. It’s like, “You’re not doing it like that.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt
“You’re not like my mommy.”
Mistress Dasha Bond
Like, “Mommy touches me like this.” Like, “You’re not mommy.” I love that. But also, playing with them, a lot of the times, any virgin that I’ve seen, they lack some kind of confidence in their sexual abilities, which, you know, obviously comes with experience. And I really love disarming them and making them feel very comfortable and get to the point where they can go from this person who just is not entirely sure how to do any of this, and then get to this point where at the end, they’re like, “I know what I like, and you helped me explore that.” And that makes me feel so rewarded, honestly, I really do love this job. It gets me into this altered state that I’ve never experienced otherwise. And that’s just my favorite thing. I have so many little virgins in my life, from my little domestic subs to a lot of my clients,
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Virgins. To be determined. It’s so interesting. I feel like the virgins that I’ve gotten have all been trans women who are exploring feminization with me and are being fucked as a woman for the first time, which is such an exciting experience to share with someone. Or I guess BDSM virgins, too, I get quite a few of, which I feel like it’s just always so exciting to get to be someone’s first. And I think it goes back to that idea of what we crave is that vulnerability. And I feel like there’s nothing more vulnerable than trusting someone to guide you where you’ve literally never gone before. Yeah.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Giving them that is very, very beautiful. And I also love when- I had a particular sub who, it was his first time doing anything, he’s never been kissed, nothing. And his first experience, you know, I went into this thinking, we’re going to go somewhat light and have this fun experience. And by the end of it, this man was so bruised up, like, he took so much of it. He’s such a little masochist. And he’s just been waiting for himself to flourish, you know, I just, it’s like he’s been waiting. And I loved it. It was the best thing ever. Just seeing how I would keep doing things. And he’s like, I don’t know. He’s like, “I’m not really feeling it,” like, “More.” And, you know, and that also, that pisses me off so much. The second a sub tells me that, I’m like, “Oh, really?” I’m like, “I’m going to make you feel it.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I had the opposite experience with my sub who you met. So this is going to take us on a journey where, so we met because I reached out to you because I was like, “You’re so good at TikTok. Like, is there anything that I can show you? We can do a skill share.” And we wound up doing a TikTok. We did the Shadow challenge or something like that. And then we did blood play with one of my submissives. And, like, your face was one of the most beautiful things that I’ve ever seen. And I just remember it so vividly. And she was also, like, “I was Dasha’s first!”, so she really enjoyed it. She was seeing you post more of your interest in blood play stuff. But I was talking to her last night, and she was like, “I’ve always been told, like, my whole life that I’m such a masochist.” And she’s like, “with you, I feel like such a little bitch.” I thought it was so funny. And I’m sure it’s like some of, you know, moving through and feeling your feelings more and feeling embodied. I feel like it’s so many different things. But I just- it really made, it was the complete opposite of the story that you told. And I was like, ah, yes!
Mistress Dasha Bond
Honestly, it was so much fun. It was such a beautiful experience. And every time that I talk to people about it, I’m like, “Look, here’s a picture.” And it’s like, I stapled her tit to her arm! Look at me! I’m so proud of myself.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I’m so proud. It’s on my fridge! Look at my fridge!
Mistress Dasha Bond
I’m going to print it out as a Polaroid and put it on my fridge. I love that. It was such a beautiful experience for me. And ever since I always knew that I had this love for it. It actually started from, it was Vex Ashley’s company, a four chambered heart. And I was watching this one video and they’re just covered in blood and they’re fucking, and I think if anything will get you into blood, it’s that, because it’s just the right amount of, “oh!” but it’s not too extreme. And so I just remember watching this and I was like, I want to be covered in blood and fuck. That was fun. And then at the end, you know, you have this like mix of like, there’s a little bit of like pissing and cum and I’m just like such a slut for fluids in general. I love them. And so watching that, I just remember I was like, I was like so entranced, and I was like, I need this in my life.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
That’s amazing. Their content is gorgeous. It’s something I always encourage people to watch. And definitely, I feel like I’ve been seeing so much more blood play that people are doing, which is super, and more mommy. I was just tweeting about this. I feel like so many more people are calling themselves mommy as their honorific, and everyone and their fucking mother is doing blood play. And I’m like, this used to be- I’ve been working for 15 years and some of the first skills that I learned were to do with medical play. When I was like 18 or 19 at the place that I trained, I was like, sounding like the headmaster of the space and sewing it around his urethra, and sewing someone’s cock to someone’s cunt. And I’m like, these are like my early domme experiences, and you just wouldn’t see it. I feel like there were the heavy medical dommes who would do some cool fucked up stuff. And everyone would be like, “Ah!” And now I feel everyone’s like, “Here’s my cool, fucked up medical stuff.” So it’s very interesting to see.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Which I really love, because I mean, you’ll see here on my Twitter, and you’ll see me like posting a strap on pic. And like, everyone loves it. And I’m like, “Okay, well now you followed me. So here’s me talking about blood.” And they’re like, “Oh, I thought she just pegs.” And I love that. Like, I love getting, I’m like, “You have to have both.” The duality is there and I absolutely love that. But I have a sub of mine who I love to carve little shapes in him. And so now he has hearts all over his back, carved in there. I love it. And he loves it. He loves looking at it. And he heals like- it always scars. So he has these permanent little hearts on his back. And I remember, someone saw it and he just gave the dumbest response and he was like, “Oh, I fell.” Or something.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Oh, I used to, I cut something really gorgeous in an ex of mine’s chest. And his son asked about it and he’s like, “Oh, a fairy cut me.” And I was like, “That’s not a lie. It works. Now your child’s going to be scared of fairies, but that’s not my business.
Mistress Dasha Bond
The problem is now it’s all I think about anytime I think about owning someone, especially when it gets to this point where I just feel so connected to them, I’m like, you need my initials in you. Always like that. Which happens to be your initials too.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I think it’s so fun. Whenever I go to text you, I’m like, I’m texting myself, mommy for mommy, DB for DB.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I love it. We can co-parent!
Mistress Danielle Blunt
We should, I feel like we are overdue for like, lesbian cuckolding domination co-ownership of someone. I feel like that would ruin generations of lives.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly. I completely agree. It’s co-parenting, you know, two mommies just taking care of their little baby. I love it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
If anyone’s reading, it’s time. It’s definitely time.
Mistress Dasha Bond
You need to be owned by two gorgeous mommies.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yes, it’d be perfect. What else are you doing with your life? Let’s be honest.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah. By the end of it, you need DB.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, DB,DB. This is like, “DB plus DB” in a heart.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Aw.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Perfect.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I tweeted about it, and I actually wrote, I was like, “You need my initials.” And someone’s like, “Oh, I have a ton of tattoos.” I’m like, “I’m not talking about tattoos.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, just, like, straight to the flesh.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah. I like carving ridiculous things into subs. On one of them, I carved “Basic bitch” was one of my favorites.
Mistress Dasha Bond
That was right before, we did that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
We played with it, yes!
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes. I remember seeing it, and I was like, oh!
Mistress Danielle Blunt
That was such a fun one. And then I also carved on her. I play with her without a safe word. We have a very developed- She’s been serving me for around three and a half years or something like that. And just, a very deep 24/7 dynamic. She’s my personal submissive. She does a ton of service for me, We don’t play with a safe word, We have a CNC total power exchange dynamic. And I was teaching her a lesson and carved “No means nothing” into her back. And I posted it on Twitter, and there was an interesting response. Most people loved it. And then it got to the wrong part of Twitter, where they’re like, “Oh, this is horrible.” And I’m like, “You all, she was coming, while I was carving this into her and had been begging me to.” I just think it’s so interesting when it is taken to the wrong part of Twitter.
Mistress Dasha Bond
It’s beautiful. Honestly, I love it. I had a similar response where I have a Jesus dildo, and I did a video where Jesus takes my virginity. And so I’m dressed in bridal lingerie, and I have the veil, and I posted it, and I was like, “Jesus is always in me.” You know what I mean? I said something along those lines. I’s probably weirder than that. I posted it, and a bunch of people were like, “Oh, you Satanist! Blasphemy! Blah, blah, blah.” And I was like, yeah, that’s the point.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Hashtag blessed. That’s so funny.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah. It just ends up on the wrong side of Twitter. Happens.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It does happen. I feel like something that we also talked about having in common is our love for objectification and objectification as a form of power dynamic. And it’s one of my favorite forms, I think. Okay, before we talk about objectification, you mentioned something about mommy play bringing you into an altered state that I wanted to go back to, because I think that when we talk about altered states in BDSM, we’re so often talking about sub space, where we bring our subs and this gorgeous flow state that comes for our submissive. Like, everything for our submissives, right? Of course. We’re such pleasers. And I think it’s so- when we talk about aftercare, most of the time, like 95% of the time, we’re talking about how to take care of a submissive afterwards, not something that a submissive could be doing. You know, like when I play with my submissive, part of their aftercare is giving me a massage as, like, a connective way of coming together and regulating. And so I think the mommy space, the mommy head space, this, like, juicy, flowy space, I think is something I would love to talk to you about, because I do feel like it’s we don’t talk enough about in kink community about domme space or a more dominant head space and what that flow space is like of being able to enter a space and have your way with someone and moving from their feedback and just literally, I really think of it as a flow space and quite literally as an altered brain space. Or we’re, like, playing with neuroplasticity. And it doesn’t just happen for the submissive. When there is that good chemistry when you are playing with someone where you’re, like, really attuned with them, there is this opportunity for transformation on both sides. I’d love if you could talk a little bit about what mommy space is for you and what that altered state is.
Mistress Dasha Bond
So, I’m completely sober. Like, I don’t even consume caffeine. I don’t drink. I don’t do anything. I’ve found that I’m so addicted to this, and the way that it makes me feel, and it’s just, honestly, nothing else can get me there. I’m also, I’m a Cancer, so I just feel my emotions so deeply, and I always have. So when I’m in this space, like, regardless of even sometimes how attached I am to this person, I tend to go into domme space pretty quickly. Also we were talking about with mommy’s, like, I love taking on all of the behind the scenes things that, subs don’t have to think about. So I make this the most beautiful thing ever. And I have so much joy in it. Like, just doing my makeup, making myself look so intimidating and unattainable. I love it. It makes me feel very happy. I want them to come there being like, “she’s just this perfect person” where it’s like, you know, there’s a lot of time and energy behind that or, when I’m pegging someone and they’re loving it, but I’m getting tired, but I’m not stopping. Like, I love those things.
I’m like, “Mommy’s putting in a lot of work in this behind the scenes that you don’t get to see, because I want this to be perfect.” I really, I just, I love the way that it transforms me and like, I started to even feel like the way that my entire brain, it gets so calm, and everything is just, like all my senses are so heightened. And I think that also is what makes me like a better domme, because when I’m doing it, the slightest change in mood, the slightest change in body language, like, everything, I notice it immediately. And I really- I love that feeling. Like there’s nothing better. I really can’t describe it any in any other way other than like, I feel high. I feel so, so good. By the end of it, I agree with you when it comes to, like, aftercare things, especially if someone’s ever penetrated me, because I don’t bottom super often. But if they penetrate me, I feel like I definitely need some aftercare. And occasionally there’ll be some subs who just want to kind of run away after something happens or a session/scene ends. Sometimes that will leave me a tiny bit hurt because I need to come down properly. And that mostly only happens to me if someone’s penetrating me. But again, it doesn’t happen as often. But yeah, that aftercare is super important for both people, because we’re both feeling like an exchange of energy. And so I want to feel at the end of it like I’m taking care of you, but I take care of my subbies because they take care of me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Reciprocity, I feel like is so important. I think aftercare conversations should, like, involve that reciprocity of “what do you need?” And then the submissive needs to ask their domme what they need too. For me, I feel like I can fall into a state of hyper attunement, that feels like, really high. Like I was doing- I do do drugs, but also I feel really high in sessions. There are a few people that I play with where I’m like, “Am I rolling?” I feel like I just took a hit of ecstasy and like, to be able to do that just through connection, attunement, vulnerability, and somatics, I feel like, is such a powerful thing to be able to accomplish together. For me, in an ideal session, I am also moved. I am moving with you. We are moving together. We are co-creating something. I am not just doing something to you for you. I am doing something to you for me to bring me into that state. And I think something also to do with what you were talking about that I find so interesting is like, I definitely top more often than I bottom. But I think we’re talking, about sexually here with, penetration, not like the kink top and bottom. But I feel like people- I feel like more dommes are doing content creation and like porn and full service stuff now than when I was coming up as a domme like 15 years ago. It’s just so interesting to me when people are like, “Oh, if you’re being penetrated, you’re somehow submissive,” because I love using people like a human dildo. Like there’s nothing that I love more than taking my pleasure. Coming over and over again and like, of course you don’t get to come. And for me, there is nothing submissive about being penetrated. It’s just a misogynistic trope that somehow, like, being penetrated makes you more feminine or weaker or more submissive or controlled, or you know, it’s like that, I don’t know… I feel like any activity can be done from either end of like the D/s relationship.
Mistress Dasha Bond
100%
Mistress Danielle Blunt
And what is represented that way. I have this one clip that I have with Owen Gray that I send out on my fan sites
Mistress Dasha Bond
I know what you’re talking about, I love it!
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Oh, thank you. It was such a fun clip because he also doesn’t really do kink stuff. So I was like, “well, I’d love to shoot with you, but I don’t fuck like you fuck in your other clips. Are you open to it?” And he was super down, and it was really fun to be able to dominate him and this really gentle form of domination of using him for my pleasure, teasing him, not letting him cum, making him clean up after himself. For me, it’s like, that’s the type of sex that I have in my personal life. It felt like much less performative than some of the femdom porn that I see or that I do. And I’m like, I feel like it’s still somewhat taboo, although people don’t talk as much shit about you than they did 10 years ago when you do that kind of porn.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I agree.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
So that’s so powerful. Like, all sexuality is so powerful. And I want to use all that I want to at my disposal in order to control you.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I agree. And, you know, before we became friends and it was you and two other people who just really inspired me in the community. I loved watching their content the way that they would speak and their authenticity. And those two people happen to be, like, some of my closest friends in the industry. And it makes me so happy. I just, I have now taken a lot of pride in shifting the narrative for a lot of people by doing things that might be construed as submissive, but me doing it, mommy’s doing it, therefore it can’t be submissive. I really love changing that narrative of showing, like, all kinks are neutral, and it just depends on who’s doing it and how you’re approaching it. I love doing that, and I love making people see that it’s not about that. Especially because I’m someone who- like… I peg a lot. So I don’t want people to think that you’re, you know, in any way more inferior because you’re being pegged. No, you’re inferior because you’re mommy’s little toy. Like that’s it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Pegged by mommy.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes! So I love being able to introduce people to that and making sure that they have the right notions in their head and that they are not feeling in any way less confident about what they’re doing or embarrassed by what they’re doing. Making sure that they understand that I’m doing this from love and care for the person, and I want them to make sure that they know that they’re not seen as feminine or, you know, weaker just because they are doing a particular act. I love that. Just, like, for a while, I also felt like if I was bottoming that it made me a little less dominant. And I love bottoming. Like, how can you not? You know, I was like, I have a hole. I want to use it! And so for me, introducing it with submissives also helped me and my BDSM journey. And as someone who honestly never felt shame in their life, I really love being able to approach that with other people and show them these things and being like, “You can do this and not feel one way or the other about it.” It’s really beautiful. And sometimes I want to get fucked! Sometimes they want to get fucked. It’s just what it is. I love it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I remember Katie Diamond, who is a bootblack, and I think, a former International Ms. Leather person, was giving a bootblacking lesson and was like, you know, like, “The bootblack doesn’t have to be the submissive.” And, like, gave a demo of how to bootblack as a top. And it was so hot and so handy. And I just, like, I think about that for, like, every single activity, and I think it’s so limiting to think that a specific activity is inherently submissive. Like, if a domme wants to wear a collar, fuck it. Great. I feel like there’s just so much judgment in community about how other people are doing, what other people are doing is somehow less dominant instead of, like, exactly what they want to be doing. For me, what feels less dominant is not fucking someone you want to fuck because you think that it somehow makes you weaker or more submissive. Like, I know people who have told me, “Oh, I wish that I could do that.” And I’m like, “Bitch, you can.”
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah, of course you can.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
You have to get over your shit… It’s just like, what’s been conditioned in you.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
To…from a huge grand and societal level, to make you feel that penetration is somehow more submissive than penetrating someone else because of heteronormative norms. It’s like, you just have to… you can do it. I feel like the most dominant thing you can do is whatever you want within your sub’s boundaries, you know?
Mistress Dasha Bond
I agree. I pretty quickly came to that conclusion myself. And ever since then, I just, I make porn that I think is more beautiful. I think I have deeper connections with my subs. And I think it gets to the point where I feel like I can educate them better and make sure that they are having the proper relationship with BDSM. Because, you know, I’ve had people come to me who’ve had traumatic experiences in the past with someone who was a bad dom and just ended up leaving a mark on them. And I love making sure that I can reframe that narrative and keep their love for BDSM, because it’s something that, you know, I think if you have a really healthy relationship with your sexuality, it shows through the rest of your life, like when you are, happy with the intimacy that you have at home or in the bedroom, you are going to be, I think, a more confident individual.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I feel like it translates to- it’s just like that confidence and that feeling of empowerment of deserving to have your needs met, whether or not those needs are being humiliated to the point where you don’t deserve needs. But I think that what we do offers such a space of transformation that one of the taglines of one of my many websites I’ve had over the years was a kinky yoga website. It was something like “Taking devotion off of the mat and into the dungeon.” I was like, talking about how you can bring a kink practice into- or how you can bring a yoga practice into a devotional kink practice. I think it was really interesting for people because it was branding that was a lot lighter. It was taken in light at a time when everyone was taking, like, studio lit dungeon photos. And so many people contacted me talking about how they felt this way in a yoga class and they thought that it was wrong and that it wasn’t okay. And like, no, you just need the right outlet for it. And there is so much space for transformation just in having- I feel like we offer folks the chance to have hopefully a healthy communicative relationship where they’re communicating their needs, maybe that they’ve never shared with anyone else, and you’re able to kind of guide them into facilitation of having those needs met. And I think that is such a powerful and transformative thing that just extends- like my best sessions, my best play extends years beyond the couple of hours that someone is spending with me. It’s not, I wouldn’t say a goal, but an outcome where I’m really thrilled when that happens, when something cracks open in someone and they are changed in a way that’s, like, they haven’t been able to move through on their own.
Mistress Dasha Bond
You know, that really resonates with me because me being Slavic and Ukrainian, I feel like a lot of the times in our communities you’re not really allowed to stray from certain things, and you will be, like, somewhat shamed if you are seen as one way or another. And so I feel like people talk about BDSM a lot less. And whenever I’m on FetLife for example, and I’m looking around and I see people from literally the same city that I was born in, I’m like, “Oh my God, they exist?” And it’s like, of course they do. But whenever they talk to me, and I’m really thankful, but I get a lot of messages from people, and, you know, sometimes in Russian, Ukrainian, or in English, people here or people there talking to me, saying how I’ve really opened up their mind and made them feel less shameful about their kinks. I’m really thankful for that because I’ve had multiple, Ukrainian immigrants who I see as clients, who I get to talk to them, and I can relate to them on that level of, like, our community and how, yeah, you’re not really allowed to be one way or another. And it’s very frowned upon about men looking submissive. There’s a lot of pride in Slavic culture, I think, for a man to be a provider, to be strong, all this, but at the same time, the women are very, very strong people in our households. Like, I’ve always just assumed matriarchy is the way to go, because in my household, it’s the women you turn to. In my household my mother was always the one that we would go to. She was the one who was seen as the strong, powerful figure. I’ve always just seen women in my family be these very strong, beautiful people who can make femininity seem strong, which I feel like sometimes is diminished. And I love that. So when I’m seeing this, I’m like, of course there are going to be men who are going to be submissive. You have this mother who was just so dominating. I was like, and not to mention like me as an older sister, like I’m such a bully, I always have been. When I see that in our culture, I love that, it’s really beautiful. So then when you see it kind of translate to the bedroom, like there will be some shame there. And I’m like, why? You’re so used to having strong women around you and sometimes, you know, it’s a kink to put powerful, independent women like in their place. And obviously I hate that. But you know, it’s really lovely to just see the transformation with people and see them move in that direction of letting go of that and are able to understand we can do all of these things. You don’t have to be intrinsically one way or the other.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I feel like it’s always such a gift to get to play with people who you have a shared background with. As a disabled, chronically ill domme, I’ve found it really fulfilling to be able to play with other disabled folks and to be able to you know, say on my website that like I have access to a wheelchair-accessible dungeon and just, you know, living with like chronic pain has been really fundamental in my style of domination and really shifted my relationship to pain and how I give pain and how I move people and guide people through pain. I found it really, really lovely. I loved hearing you talk about your background because I feel like it encourages people to reach out who might not have or who see something in you that’s reflected back in them. It’s been just, so powerful for me when other disabled folks come for sessions and get to explore pain in a more consensual way, for people who have chronic pain. And being able to figure out what works for them in their body that day rather than what someone who is, I assume someone who’s able bodied might be able to take. It’s different for everyone of course, but I think especially for folks who have chronic pain issues where their capacity might change day to day. I think it’s been really, really powerful to be able to work with folks and also give them that experience of domination without making them feel like I’m handling them with kid gloves is something that I really excel at. Yeah, I had this really lovely client who’s probably my like longest term client who has spina bifida and his caretakers actually booked a session for him with a woman who trained me to be a domme. And then when she retired, I started. So I would do sessions with her and him. And then I started seeing him solo for like, eight years. Just a really beautiful relationship where his caretakers would take him into the city, into the dungeon. I would go stay at his family’s house and do a session with him, and, you know, just being able to connect with him in that way. I was talking about, you know- he has really brittle bones, so his caretaker would show me, like, how to move his body in a way where I wouldn’t injure him. But being able to balance that with making him feel something and, like, really feel something powerful and feel my power over him, was such a beautiful relationship. And he would get to this really delicious altered state and come out of it and just be, moved and transformed. And you know, we’d take our time, like bringing him out of it. And I did this. I haven’t thought about this in a while. I’ve written a little bit about it. He liked to be photographed. We have, like, a documentary photographer come and take photos which are just, really, really lovely. And one of the photos that he took is- I had this friend who had this herb farm in upstate New York, and they had this beautiful herbal garden in the shape of a mandala. And so I got him in the middle of this space, and I had someone doing trance drum work while we did this full body mummification scene in the space. And it was just so beautiful to be able to do that together and share an experience with him that was completely out of- where I feel like the world building and scene is so, so important. I think especially, like, as someone who goes through periods of their life where I’m not really leaving the house much, my energy ebbs and flows. Being able to build that world and build up to an experience that is so far out of the realm of your daily reality with pain has been, for me, so, so moving and so important, that element of fantasy to bring you out of that space.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I agree. I also think, just in general, some people, regardless of their background, might have a harder time approaching people. And then the second that they realize that you have something that connects, makes them more likely to reach out. Or if I do talk about, like, how I’ve seen a client with a disability that’s the same as theirs or I’ve just seen other clients with disabilities, like I think it makes them feel much more comforted, and it can be the reason why they approach. Especially if it’s like a little seed that’s been planted in their mind and they’ve wanted to approach. So something like that, It’s really important, I think, to talk about these things. One, to destigmatize certain things, but then two, also to be able to just make people feel included, which can be sometimes difficult when you’re working in an industry where you are aiming to reach the most amount of people as possible. So you’re kind of just making certain generalizations or you are talking to people in a particular way. So it’s really important to be mindful and inclusive.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yes, I have language on my website that I like see all people regardless of, I was going to say age, but over 18, regardless of race, gender, or ability status. And I’ve had a lot of people who have contacted me because that like really simple language is on my website and I just, like I say on my website that I have like access at no additional cost to a wheelchair-accessible play space. I also like have photos with people with different ability statuses. I have photos with queer people, and I think like specifically like my photos with queer folks have had the most impact I’ve seen on who reaches out to me, because I also feel like just having been working for such a long time… like I remember when my first collared femme sub was seeing me, she became my photo bottom for so much of what I was doing, because I was like, oh, like this is my personal submissive. You’re going to come be my photo bottom. And I just didn’t take a photo with a cis man for a while because none of them wanted to be photographed.
Mistress Dasha Bond
It’s true.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
And so, then so many queer people started seeing me to the point where like I didn’t have a cis man seeing me for like… two years. And I feel like that’s not what you expect from a professional dominatrix. I remember so vividly someone commenting on one of my photos of me and my femme sub being like, “This isn’t femme dom. Femdom is with a male submissive.” And I’m like, “Firstly, femdom mentions nothing about a submissive. It’s about the dom, you idiot.” And I was just like… it just never occurred to me how people were receiving it as well, in a negative way, as well as how many women have reached out to me over the years, I think, from talking to them, largely because for two years I took photos with this person.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah It really reminds me of how, I feel like a lot of people in this community will start to police it for certain things. Like, Reddit is a good example of the way that they, you know…you’re not allowed to do this You have to do this. It’s just so one-sided. And we all know that people get into BDSM because of the subversion, because of the ability to, you know, play with societal norms and flip the script. And so when I see someone being like, “Pegging is this.” It drives me insane. Or like, “Femdom is this.” And it just, it really does drive me insane. I’m like, “No, that’s your fantasy of it and that is what you want it to be for you, and that’s fine.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Also, pegging is fucking. I am fucking you.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I am having sex with you and fucking you with a cock. I had this one submissive who was like, “Call it a strap on. Call it a strap on.” I’m like, “No, mommy’s fucking you with her cock.” Like, “I need you to know that this is a cock and that you are being fucked with a cock.” So get over it.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I do that all the time.The way that I frame that language has always been that because to me, we’re fucking, we’re having sex. Like, it feels like they’re almost diminishing what I’m doing. I’m fucking you!
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I’m fucking working hard!
Mistress Dasha Bond
Exactly! I’m like, “What do you mean? Mommy’s cock is in you. Like, you cannot sit here and tell me that I’m not fucking you.” Like, it does really drive me insane. And so changing that language, because for a lot of the times, these kinds of acts were only in the queer community, and cishet people were so blind to it and they had no idea. So now it’s like, when you’re incorporating BDSM, which I think is very queer, then all of a sudden it’s like, no, you’re not. Or like, I’ve had a client of mine who is a virgin who I remember at that time, it was like the third session I had with him, and he just brought up, and this is how I found out he was a virgin. He was like, “I’m just a virgin.” I’m like, “I fucked you in the ass three times! What do you mean you’re a virgin?” Like, what?
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, the construct of virgin is so… (rolls eyes). Backdoor virgin maybe.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah, and I’m like, he was like, “Well, you know what I mean.” And I’m like, “No, I don’t! I fucked you!” And obviously, there are firsts for every act that you could possibly do. But in my mind, I’m like, we had a connection here. Don’t diminish it. I did this very intimate thing. I am fucking you. This thing, this silicone dildo has my energy in it, and I am fucking you. Like, we are one.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
My favorite is when whorephobic dommes are like, “I don’t have sex with my clients,” while they’re like elbow deep in someone. I hate to break it to you.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I hate it too.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Like, that’s sex.
Mistress Dasha Bond
It drives me crazy. And they’re sitting here like, “oh, it’s not sex”. I’m like, you’re telling me right now that that’s not super intimate to me? Because I personally, there is nothing that I feel more connected than when I’m elbow deep in someone. Like, I absolutely love this because of that intimacy. And I’m sitting here and people are like, “Oh, well, I don’t fuck them, so I’m better than that.” I’m like, you know, obviously we hate the whorearchy, it is awful. But I’m like, there are just different ways to feel intimate with submissives. And that doesn’t make you intrinsically better or worse. And right now, there’s a lot of that discourse talking about, like, rates and things like that on Twitter that I’m seeing right now. It’s like, it doesn’t matter what your rates are. It doesn’t matter what services you provide. at the end of the day, we’re all sex workers, whether you want to admit it or not. I love that intimacy, whether I’m, whether no one is penetrating and no one is touching anything of mine, or I am. I don’t care how that looks, like we are being intimate. Like, that is just what it is.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I think it’s interesting to talk about, something that I’m really curious about, and if I had all of the time in the world. This would be a research project. So I’m also a tech researcher and one of the research questions that I’m super interested in is the way that payment processors mediate our sexuality and our desires, which I feel like… it’s like we were talking about the content that we want to make versus what we can actually sell. What sells as like a market and what we literally can sell. And like here we are about like fisting, and pissing, and fluids, and all of these different things that we can’t sell on platforms. And I think like, will this get flagged? Because I just said the word ‘piss’? I had an audio note of me pissing without saying anything get flagged on one of the fan sites. Because I’m like, do you fucking employ like AI to tell what a tinkle is?
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes. I have this conversation with so many people, because I think about payment processors probably more than most people on this planet, but they feel like my number one enemy as a sex worker. I’m sitting here and I’m like, this is the kind of art that I want to make. It’s going to be beautiful and I want to do this, versus the content I want to make. And then it’s me sitting here doing POV clips. I am bored of that. That is not what I want. And I have so many notes in my Notes app of all the content that I want to make. And I’m sitting here like, I can’t do that because where am I going to post it? Who am I going to send it to? That does really drive me crazy because the censorship, it influences all of us whether we think so or not. Because you’re sitting here on, you know, some tube site watching this thing and it says step mommy, because that is what the algorithm is moving.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It didn’t even pick up mother!
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes! Because you can’t search this. I was like, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a sex worker or you’re a civ. Like, it is impacting you, because these payment processors are going to affect the content that we put out there. So it doesn’t matter if you don’t regularly consume sex workers’ content. Like you’re sitting here on TikTok and you’re seeing these people censor certain words and now it’s turned into, you know, people talking about mommy, whatever… or daddy, and it’s because they’re not allowed to possibly talk about other stuff..
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Mother doesn’t get flagged the same way mistress is. And I think it’s something that’s really interesting too is one of the things I was noticing on TikTok was that underboob was such a trend that then moved into mainstream fashion, but was first on TikTok because people with titties cleavage was getting flagged in the automated content moderation system. And I think that it’s like so interesting to see how it shifts desire and how cultural things shift desire. I’m curious about the pandemic as mediating factor, bringing more people into blood play and mommy play because both are like deep forms of intimacy and closeness. I’m still largely not doing things. Like a lot of people have like a year and a half of like, touch deprivation and intimacy deprivation. And those are two deeply intimate activities. At the start of the pandemic, I was like, I am so curious, like 10 years from now, what people are going to be into. It seems like it’s bug chasing.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I think people really underestimate our impact. I really do. And they don’t understand how deep it is rooted because so many of these policies in terms of service are so whorephobic that it’s like, okay, cool, what’s the loophole here? And at the same time, they want us on there because we drive so many views, and so it’s like we’re constantly adapting to these new terms of service and the guidelines that they provide us, that it gets to the point where, I mean, so many people making content happen to be sex workers because we need to be promoting our content. So you’re seeing them start trends, because it’s like, how can I do this in a different way? And then someone else takes it, and because we are censoring ourselves, someone else who maybe isn’t in the industry sees this and thinks it’s cool. And then they start to do it, not even realizing that actually it’s a euphemism or actually it’s a sex worker trying to approach things in a little bit more like, you know, publicly acceptable way. And so it’s really interesting how I think people are so blind to it, but I’m like, no, that mommy porn that you love, it’s because of these payment processors and because of the way that we are, you know, trying to move things, but at the same time, like, I’m totally mommy. And would be regardless.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It’s so interesting to me. I’m like, should I even say this? Because I don’t want it to change. Like, I never want to be your step mommy. But, like, mommy doesn’t get flagged. Mommy and daddy don’t get flagged the same way as, like, more incest porn where, like, you’re playing with like, step mommy, stepmother, stepfather, which I think is interesting. And I don’t know, I think that there is so much… like, what I’m hearing you talk about is this continual evolution that sex workers have to achieve in order to stay on a platform and to do their best to stay visible. And it is like this constant dance. I consider it platform policing and that and criminalization go hand in hand. So it’s like this dance around criminalization too. You see it happening on the streets too, to avoid policing, like the trends in fashion. You know, when I was in Germany 10 years ago, all of the sex workers were wearing fanny packs, and like, I was there with my mom, and my mom’s like, “Oh my God, their outfits are so cute.” And I’m like, “Good mom, that’s a whore.” I’m like, “You should pay her.” But she was like, so into their fashion style. And I’m like, that’s so that nothing is visible and they can keep their money there, you know? And I think it has changed fashion on the streets based on what you’re wearing and how you’re being policed, what you can wear, and then the same thing happens in online spaces. We actually have a really interesting resource on Hacking Hustling where we kind of… it’s called Trains, Tits, and Technology, where we have like a bunch of different speakers come in and talk about the use of money in the 1920s and what happened when the railroads went out west and sex workers kind of like, were some of the first people to go out west because work was there. And how sex work has just been so integral in shaping society in this way that is so largely invisible. And I think about it so much with payment processors, I would love to make bloody content, but I get Shadow banned and I can’t sell it anywhere. I love talking about executrix, I can’t even say the word. Clips where, you know, do you live or do you die? There’s only one way to find out, like, what’s hotter edge play than that? And like, no one’s in danger in this situation. Sorry, I’m on a rant now. It’s like all under the guise of protecting children, which is a good thing to do that. This is like my most firmly held belief. If you want to protect the children, abolish families, like 90% of child abuse happens in a white picket fence home. I just think it is so, it’s obviously misguided, because the real intent is to persecute queer people and gender nonconforming people.
Mistress Dasha Bond
But we end up being some of the first people to adapt any new kind of technology. Or like you’re saying, you know, all of a sudden there’s a new railroad. Of course the first people who are going to go there are sex workers. We tend to always be adopting like the first technology, but we also are the first ones to experience its downfalls, always. And then you hear sex workers screaming from the rooftops, talking about like AI, like hey, like a lot of this is being used improperly or deep fakes, or hey, these social medias are tracking you. And you hear them from other people, and people just ignore us. It also comes back to, for example, the stripper index, when they were talking about that, of course sex workers feel the impacts of the economy first because where else do people cut money? So for me, I’m constantly thinking about things like this. We are the first people to adopt new things because we want it to work. And also we’re the first people to feel the effects of something negative. I think about things like that all of the time. And I’m sure you do and anybody else who’s in the industry long enough, you see the way that it impacts us and also starts to impact other people and them not even realizing it’s impacting them.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yeah, I think the other people not even realizing that it’s impacting them until it’s very suddenly- they are not able to access these things, it’s how fascism works too. With all of the laws that we’re seeing in our country, I saw this tweet the other day about book censorship. One of the books that they’re trying to have taken out of libraries is a book about sexual health that talks about sexual abuse. And the tweet was about how the librarian had a 10 year old who pointed at it and was like, that’s me. And the librarian was able to talk to her mother about it and they were able to get the child out of that situation. That is what they’re trying to prevent. It is not about the anti-sex rhetoric is not really about sex. It is about repression and suppression and the growing rise of fascism. And it always starts with sex and gender.
Mistress Dasha Bond
True. And it does drive me really crazy whenever I hear anything about sex education or abolishing sex education or just not providing people with the right resources. Obviously people are going to feel more helpless and it’s easier to manipulate someone who doesn’t have the right words to communicate what they’re experiencing and what they want. And I really hate when I’m starting to hear, you know, that the whole narrative is about protecting children. It drives me insane. And I don’t understand how you can sit here and talk about how “Oh, like, I want to do this or this to protect my children,” when a lot of the times, it’s the same people who aren’t even comfortable enough having a sex conversation with your children. It always gets to the point where it’s like, I should be able to do that, but then they don’t even properly educate the children that they want to be educating. I feel for them. Like, it really does hurt because in my household, we didn’t shame sex. And I think it’s what made me such a sexually liberal person. It came from the fact that I am European and we talk about sex openly in a very healthy way. And, you know, we’re never crossing any weird boundaries. But I am to this day, I can still go to my parents and be like, “Hey, I feel like this thing is going wrong. Like, is this normal? Is this normal? Is it genetic? Like, am I okay here?” And I love being able to have that conversation. And you know, it’s also how you’re able to help, prevent things like pregnancy. If you’re sitting here and never talking about sex with your child and then some little horny boy who’s older takes advantage of someone because they didn’t even know what they’re getting themselves into, that’s terrifying. Why are you not educating the people that you love about things, because these are the horrors that happen. You just need to make sure that you are protecting your people. And the only way to do that is by telling them the good and the bad. You know, “There are bad people out there, and I want to make sure that you’re safe.” You can’t do that if you’re shutting everyone up. And if you’re not saying it and other people are saying it, then you need to let them speak. I don’t understand how you can have this much censorship.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Education and multiple adults in your life who you can talk to openly about these things is what keeps people safe, not taking away those resources. And I think also a large part of it is intergenerational relationships are so integral and crucial to queer relationships. So many young queer folks, especially rural queer folks, grow up not really seeing a ton of queer people around them and learning their history. They learn about transition. They learn about staying safe. They learn about safer sex. They learn about community and their history from these intergenerational relationships. And that is also what’s being targeted. And those relationships are so often what keep people safe. If you’re kicked out of your family, of your nuclear family for your gender identity or your sexuality, like, it is going to largely be other queer people, and often queer people of different ages who come swoop in and take care of you. I feel like we really went off on a fascism rant here. The last thing I’ll say about fascism is, our Nazis don’t even have good boots. And it’s very upsetting about American Nazis. They need to get some better boots so there’s something to fetishize, because the khaki pants are not cutting it for me.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yeah, well, I’m so grateful for this community. It’s why I joined, honestly. And when I think about the things that you’re talking about, I’m just really lucky that growing up, I was raised by a million people, literally in a village. I saw my whole family all of the time, extended family most days. And then growing up and then, you know, coming to America, and then starting sex work and finding this community. Like, those two communities mean the world to me. And I do feel very, very sad for people who don’t have access to communities, because they mean the world to me. They mean so much. It is what I hold so near and dear to my heart is my family and my sex work community. And it’s just, it’s what educates us. It really does.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It is. And I think one of my hopes in doing this project this YouTube or podcast or whatever it turns into is, as a form of education. I don’t really think of myself as an educator, but I think community knowledge is such a powerful thing, and my opportunity to talk to so many different people, so many different sex workers about their unique experiences, I feel, becomes an archive of information for people to go into and see what works for them, what resonates for them in a way where, oftentimes many of these conversations are so private and hard to access, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to access.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I agree.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I do want to end on a slightly sexier note than repression and fascism. (laughs) And I’m curious if you have any fun scenes coming up that you’re looking forward to or something you would just love to do that hasn’t come to fruition yet, like fucking your doppelganger, fucking yourself.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I do think about that occasionally. You know, something that I keep thinking about is, like, any kind of wild porn that, like, I can post that is not too censored, but it’s still really wild and people haven’t seen. And the thing that comes to my mind was I had this idea. It’s at the top of my list for content ideas. And it’s a Three Stooges clown domination porn.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Yes.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Okay. When I think of The Three Stooges, I imagine it’s black and white. No one’s speaking. Almost kind of like dumb comedy. And then also at the same time, like, you are being dominated in a way. It’s like, you know what I mean? You hit it, and boom, and I’m like, “Oh my God! Like, “Left a bruise!” I love that. And I keep thinking about it, and I need to make it happen. But the thing is, I think about these things in, like, a high production kind of way because I would want to make sure that I really look scary. I really want to scare people. And I love fear play. So in my mind, I keep thinking about this. It’s on my mind. I also love the idea of making myself almost hideous and then having this gorgeous body. I love both. And it’s like, wait, why am I attracted to the scary person? Like, what, tits? What’s going on? I love it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
I saw a content maker. I can’t remember her name right now, but she does amazing FX stuff. And she was talking about how much hate jerking she gets to those clips where she has this horrible face and amazing bimbo body. I thought it was really funny. She’s like, I jerk off to those comments, the hate comments, but I think it’s so interesting. That sounds really, really fun. I have been really, really wanting to do more of, like, the clips that I did with Owen, because I feel like… I don’t do a lot of mainstream porn. I prefer to have sex with people that I have sex with, that I’m friends with, that I feel comfortable with, and have some sort of relationship with. So I never got as into mainstream porn. Most of my partners who are willing to be on camera right now are not cis men. I’ve been really wanting to do more gentle domination. Juts like, deeply seductive. I think sex that could be vanilla sex is really interesting to me when the power dynamic is so subtle. And that’s what first got me interested in kink and why it took me so long to find, so long…18 to find the language for kink was because I wasn’t interested in traditional femdom porn. I was interested in seeing power dynamics. I loved the kinkier stuff. I loved Princess Donna’s public humiliation stuff because there was this very apparent power dynamic that didn’t feel manufactured because there was the dom, the submissive, and the public, “the public”. Or I would watch more vanilla scenes and just find the one where that power dynamic was relevant and you could tell the woman was taking her pleasure and using the man. And it was just miles apart from the using a woman just like, yeah, what’s that kind of sex called? The jackrabbit sex that you’re like, wow, that looks like, horrible. That is not what interests me, but is what so much of porn is. And I think I’m really interested right now in the subtlety and seduction that can take place with minimal… I’m really into low spoons domination of like, how little can I do to make you the most fucked up? I love, like a heavy bondage type of scene, but it’s so psychological for me. And like, how can I use my body as a weapon, my body and my mind as a weapon, and that’s all that I need.
Mistress Dasha Bond
I feel totally the same. And it’s exactly the kind of sex that I love to have and the sex that I have on my own. But like we’ve said, it is really hard to find men who are willing to be on camera and then also willing to be submissive. So it’s doing both.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
We’re all willing to be submissive off camera! (both laugh)
Mistress Dasha Bond
Yes, off camera they are.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Well, I guess if anyone out there is reading, we are looking for…
Mistress Dasha Bond
We are looking! I would love to make that happen.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
Let’s make that happen. Let’s put that out there.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Everyone wants to be dominated by a hot woman, but the second you pull out a camera, it’s like, oh, it’s a whole thing.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
It’s like, “Mommy, no pictures!” Well, it was so, so fun talking to you again. And I feel like our conversations just get deeper and deeper each time. And I would love to know, where can people find you?
Mistress Dasha Bond
I think the best place to find me is MistressDasha.com, and all my links are here. That’s best way to find me. The best way to contact me for sessions. The best way to find my porn, if you don’t want a session, because I make both vanilla and fetish content because, well… I’m just a horny person.
Mistress Danielle Blunt
And if you want to find me, BluntLinks.com is where all of my links are. And right now I am on Twitter, @MistressBlunt. Thank you so much for chatting with me! It was a pleasure.
Mistress Dasha Bond
Likewise!
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